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Thread: Jealousy to Success

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    Default Jealousy to Success

    Have you ever compared your life to someone else your age and began to look down on yourself for not being at the same level they are on financially and socially? I'm not talking about celebrities but just everyday people like yourself.

    I admit I have. It was towards a college friend. I weened off the friendship because I admit my thinking was toxic and began to think my well-to-do friend only hung out with me for her own ego boost. Every time we went to the mall I felt like the hired help.

    Now that I'm taking care of myself and make more money I feel a lot better, but also kind of sad I had to end the friendship.

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    I think it's human nature to look around and see if we measure up amongst our peers. With a little perspective we can keep some balance. Even the least amongst us in the wealthiest countries has it better than a couple of billion people in the world. We seem to always focus on the guy/girl above us on the ladder though. I suppose some cultural conditioning enters into it, and our minds chattering away with little negative digs.

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    I do because I feel like everyone else is doing better than me. Seems everyone is married great jobs, own houses, etc. I have known of it and want it bad. I tell myself things aren't always what they seem (could lose the job and the house and get divorced) but hard to think that when they do have everything.

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    I have felt that way at times but I always think back to what I've accomplished and also about future goals I'm working toward. Also remember, it may seem all nice and dandy on the surface with others but you never know what may be hiding beneath it all and behind closed doors.

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    I do this. I don't compare the traditional things because I have different goals than the traditional "get married, buy a house, have kids, etc, etc". Nothing wrong with those plans though!

    But I do make comparisons with people around me because I think they're always so much more socially adept than I am. It makes me feel awkward, immature and left behind when in reality I'm just a little introverted. But still... I get jealous when I see someone flawlessly communicating in a social setting and I'm unable to do the same.

    I have had friends like the one mentioned in the OP though. During middle school and high school I was friends with a girl who was about 6 inches shorter and 30-40 lbs heavier than me, but attractive nonetheless. She would introduce me to guys, encourage us to "get to know each other" and then she would sleep with them. I think it just made her feel good when she would "win/steal" them from me because then she felt like she was more appealing than me. The friendship ended badly. VERY badly.

    To the OP, congrats on spotting the behavior and doing great things for yourself!


    Oh and I just thought of this: When I was dancing I was kinda terrible at it so I was ALWAYS comparing myself to the more confident dancers and feeling inadequate. Not quiet a friendship issue but same principle.

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    I discovered that I lean towards being introverted as well, but feel an itch to socialize more. I'm trying to be better at valuing my self-worth a bit higher. It could be the problem.

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    I do...I see people from my high school graduating class who are pharmacists or doctors now, or at least in law school or med school or grad school, and I have yet to even get my BA.

    But it's a difficult thing...on the one hand, I do regret dropping out of college when I was 18, because if I had stayed on that path I, too, would be one of those 24-year-olds with a very solid white-collar career making six figures. But on the other hand, I just don't think it's what I needed at the time. I experienced a lot of really great and really terrible things when I was a loser with three semesters of college under my belt, living in an apartment with an abusive, cheating, loser boyfriend, doing drugs and listening to music and hanging out with my loser friends. I learned from those experiences and grew from them, and I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for those experiences. I like who I am. And I think I will appreciate my BA and MA and career more after all of that, than if it was just part of that college plan every high school graduate is expected to follow. The truth is, there really is no correct path. Many, if not most, successful people did not follow that path. It's just a suggestion, not a requirement, though a lot of people would say otherwise. And a lot of my graduating class may have numerous degrees and good careers, but, you know...for all that higher education, they really are some amazingly stupid, naive, immature people. They haven't experienced life, and they don't appreciate knowledge or wisdom, and they didn't absorb a lot of what they DID learn in college, both in class and out of it. They act like spoiled rotten teenage brats, and they're in their mid-20's. I am grateful I didn't turn out like that.

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    Yes. There's a girl that I work with who is my age, while browsing porn on the internet (my fav past time) I found her personal solo modeling site. We are equally hot, same age, same height, same birthdays except, she is more successful than I am and yes I am jealous. I don't take it out on her, she doesn't know it but she is the one who is driving my car to success....it's funny you post this because that is where I am right now.

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    I wanted to see if I wasn't the only one. Sounds silly. Hope I'm not bringing everyone's worst to the forefront To every negative there is a positive. From that jealousy, it is one in the staples that breeds success. I thought I was a martian, but I'm human like everyone else. lol

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    Quote Originally Posted by JoJoX View Post
    Yes. There's a girl that I work with who is my age, while browsing porn on the internet (my fav past time) I found her personal solo modeling site. We are equally hot, same age, same height, same birthdays except, she is more successful than I am and yes I am jealous. I don't take it out on her, she doesn't know it but she is the one who is driving my car to success....it's funny you post this because that is where I am right now.
    That is a lot of "sames." But I like that saying "driving my car to success."

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    Default Re: Jealousy to Success

    Quote Originally Posted by TeeBaby View Post
    That is a lot of "sames." But I like that saying "driving my car to success."
    Yes, in other words, she is encouraging me to do better.

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