Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 38

Thread: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

  1. #1
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Help! I just discovered my husband's secret porn habit. He is outwardly very quiet and mild-mannered and I had no idea he watched this stuff. He is watching very deviant, hard core porn online and what he watches is completely disgusting to me. I really wouldn't mind if he watched ordinary, run-of-the-mill sort of porn, but what he is watching is stomach churning. I am so horrified by this discovery that I don't even know what to do. I truly had no idea he would look at stuff like this. I have actually offered to watch porn with him in the past (not the kind of stuff he is currently watching) and he told me that he had no interest in that. I don't know what to do. I feel somewhat betrayed and like I don't even know him (or least this side of him). Do you I tell him I found his porn stash or do I just go on acting like I don't know anything? Advice please!

  2. #2
    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,520
    Thanks
    348
    Thanked 878 Times in 506 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    What exactly do you mean by deviant? Is it snuff, beastiality, rape fantasy or shemale type stuff? (Although personally I have no issue with the last two, even though I'm not into them personally.) I only ask because normally when women freak out over porn, it's over fairly tame stuff. Some anal, bondage, spanking, toys or role-playing stuff is enough to make a lot of women flip their lid. None of which are really all that hard-core and imho are nothing to be worried about. Men just don't tend to like the hearts and flowers porn.

    Jeez, I watch porn with my guy all the time, but if I'm in the mood for girly porn, I generally watch that by myself. In turn, I remember at least once I had to bow out till he was finished with this one film that was just not my thing and had girls that were the polar opposite of my "type". No biggie though, we all have different preferences.

    Try to remember, it's just fantasy, and an active imagination and vivid fantasies are one of the best ways to keep your sex life fun and healthy. Fantasies also let you try out some things you might be curious about but don't want to, or don't know if you want to, actually try out. Be glad your guy is letting his imagination run wild while watching porn instead of going out chasing other girls. Let him get worked up watching some hard-core stuff, then let out all that lust in bed with YOU!
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to princessjas For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    ^I have to ask as well, what kind of porn are we talking?

    I could understand losing it if it was child porn or bestiality, but other than that-bondage, anal, rape fantasies, etc, take a deep breath and calm down.

    Many mild-mannered, quiet, polite guys have fantasies. They know their wives would never want to live them out, so porn is their only outlet. Give him a break.

  5. #4
    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    1,331
    Thanks
    224
    Thanked 311 Times in 178 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    The only way I could see myself having an issue with my husband watching porn is if it involved children or animals, or if he was very frequently watching porn but turning down sex with me. We're both very openminded and watch porn together sometimes.

    "Deviant" pornography is different for everybody, so I'd have to know what type of porn he was watching. Regardless, I don't think it is possible to police people's fantasies.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

  6. #5
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    What sort of porn is it.. I agree with the girls if it has children or animinals, big no-no.

    Other stuff, let their mind run wild. Its porn - as long as you two are still having sex and communicating, then so what over what he is watching? Sometimes want their own time, their own porn time watching day. Thats why he didnt include you in it, its more stressful for a guy with a girl there, and even if it isn't, its his guy time.

    The way I go by it, porn is nothing more than a screen with a fantasy mind. Doesnt mean he actually wants to do it, or try it but watching it could be intersting and a turn on in his mind. Its better for him to be watching whatever, then acting it out on other females, or sneaking away.

  7. #6
    Curious Guest
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    There was a lot of the typical stuff I would expect, girl-on-girl, threesomes, etc. This doesn't bother me. But what I found disturbing is that there was some weird anal stuff with gigantic, ridiculously large things being shoved up women's assholes and some strange bondage stuff where women's breasts were being tied up with rope.

    I think what is bothering more than anything is that I have offered to watch porn with him and told me he didn't want to do that. I also have offered to try anal with him and said he didn't want to do that because he thought anal was disgusting. I know porn is an outlet for fantasies that you wouldn't necessarily act out. However, I feel like he is two people telling me one thing and doing another. I feel some what shut out from him. I want to share his fantasies and I want him to be sexually fulfilled. I thought we had a good sex life, but now I don't know if I am wrong and he is unhappy. Or is this perfectly normal and I am just completely naive?

  8. #7
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    You're over-reacting. That's porn and totally normal.. I thought there was going to be something way worse. Men want their own time to watch porn, it's the time they dont want to be bothered, he is trying to be nice by saying no.

    Watching and acting is totally a different thing. A man could watch one thing, but it doesnt mean he wants to try it. Every man is different with anal, if he doesnt want to do anal and that is OK with you, then leave it.

    Because he is not telling you he watching that or this, thats his business. What he watches is his own business. If he wanted to share it with you, he would. He isnt being a different person, like mentioned, he told you - he didnt want to try anal , even though he may watch it, doesnt mean he wants to try it.

    As long as he talking to you about you two, what he likes, what he doesnt, what you like and dont, what he doesnt want to try and what he does, then its fine. Im sure if he wanted to give anal a go, he would. I wouldnt worry about it, just think of porn as his own guy-time -- in the end, he's having sex with you.

  9. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Kisca For This Useful Post:


  10. #8
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    1,944
    Thanks
    164
    Thanked 498 Times in 218 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    I was going to do a response, but Kisca summarized it perfectly.

  11. #9
    God/dess hockeybobby's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,969
    Thanks
    1,811
    Thanked 597 Times in 382 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    He may fantasize about tying you up and playing with your ass, but has previously discerned that you wouldn't like it or approve, so he's decided to keep it to himself and indulge privately. Would you like it if he acted out his fantasies with you? If not, just let it go. It's ok to have some secrets.

  12. #10
    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    2,652
    Thanks
    3,054
    Thanked 2,005 Times in 903 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    I've watched some really bizarre porn in my time, too. And I've never once wanted to act out any of it in real life. Calm down, stop freaking out. Bondage and anal is NOT a big deal. Actually, it's pretty tame, though I personally never found extreme bondage to be all that visually appealing.

  13. #11
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,968
    Thanks
    798
    Thanked 1,121 Times in 605 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Is this his internet history you found? Was the porn titled "big dildos in asses" and "bondage tits"? Because sometimes I go on porn hunts and run into crazy things I'm not really into, but I'll check them out out of fascination, interest, even disgust sometimes.

    Besides, porn isn't about the things you want to do sexually in real life. I don't want to be fucked rough by 5 different dudes in a dungeon, but I sure as hell like watching it and fantasizing about it.

    Is this really the only issue with you guys? It seems that there is some overall lack of communication going on. None of my boyfriends have ever kept porn from me completely. I assume all men like to watch it, and need alone time to do so.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to KS_Stevia For This Useful Post:


  15. #12
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    the pants party,
    Posts
    798
    Thanks
    936
    Thanked 526 Times in 231 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    What exactly do you mean by deviant? Is it snuff, beastiality, rape fantasy or shemale type stuff?
    thats what I thought she was gonna say! haha

    I think you need to calm down, its really not a big deal. I would just let it go..

  16. #13
    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    1,331
    Thanks
    224
    Thanked 311 Times in 178 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    I don't want to be fucked rough by 5 different dudes in a dungeon, but I sure as hell like watching it and fantasizing about it.
    I was going to say this exact thing!

    Honestly, I do think you are overreacting. My husband and I do watch porn together but I also like to watch porn alone. When I do, I like to watch really rough porn with gangbangs and DP and all that good stuff. It's not that I would be ashamed to watch this with my husband, and he knows I like it, but that's just what I prefer for my solo time. I don't think you should be so worried.

    You can bring this up with him, but please don't act like he is doing something bad. That will only make things worse and make him feel he has to hide things from you.

    It's possible that he knew you would consider the porn he likes "deviant", so he doesn't want to watch it with you. He may have been too worried about your judgement to tell you what he likes.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to noelle For This Useful Post:


  18. #14
    Featured Member JoJoX's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,698
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked 4,248 Times in 1,017 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    I never understood why women have problems with their husbands watching porn. What is the big fucking deal? Who cares if its "deviant" the internet gives us access to these taboo things so why blame one who wants to watch? We are curious human beings.

    I watch gang bang porn and a huge fan of germangoogirls.com and watching 50 guys come in one girls mouth, I masturbate to this stuff and get off with it....but will I act upon it? Will I post a craigslist ad to find 50 guys who shoot loads in my mouth?? No because I'd vomit.

    I am living example of just because people get off with deviant porn doesnt mean theyll act upon it. Would you rather him cheat on you?

  19. #15
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Thumbs up Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    .

    I don't want to be fucked rough by 5 different dudes in a dungeon, but I sure as hell like watching it and fantasizing about it

    It's fun!!!!!!
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to tempest666 For This Useful Post:


  21. #16
    Featured Member MarvelGirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Reality
    Posts
    1,351
    Thanks
    1,063
    Thanked 2,391 Times in 643 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    He was probably afraid that you'd be disgusted by what turns him on, and it looks like he was right. Maybe if you sit him down and let him know that you aren't going to stop loving him or throw him out because he likes watching girls get tied up and screwed by giant dildos, he'll open up and share it with you.

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to MarvelGirl For This Useful Post:


  23. #17
    God/dess Mare's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    2,413
    Thanks
    10,356
    Thanked 3,466 Times in 1,087 Posts
    My Mood
    Stressed

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    I have found myself "watching" crazy extra rediculous anal stuff on MFC. But I wasn't watching it per se. It was more like I was watching a train wreck and couldn't look away. I think he may be watching that stuff for the OMG factor. And alot of the guys in the chat rooms I was watching were saying things like- well, I can't do anything for her. In other words they were turned off b/c the model was doing extreme stuff their little peepee's couldn't ever match. I guess the words I'm looking for is he was probably watching that stuff as more of a freak show kind of thing.
    The titty tying bondage thing. Eh. Grosses me out too, but probably harmless.

  24. #18
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Quit snooping.

  25. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  26. #19
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    I just found out he was looking at www.sextube or some shit like that
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  27. #20
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,968
    Thanks
    798
    Thanked 1,121 Times in 605 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    I just found out he was looking at www.sextube or some shit like that
    Its just a free porn video clips site. There is mild stuff on there and hardcore stuff. Don't get upset over this, really. And I'd ask him about it. I think looking at computer history isn't snooping if its a computer you had access to.

    Just tell him you were doing some online shopping and went to look at your history to try and remember the URL of a store you were at..and found sextube. No big deal, you just were curious, etc.....

  28. #21
    Veteran Member sunny,*'s Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Planet Earth
    Posts
    218
    Thanks
    110
    Thanked 243 Times in 63 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    I like to watch action movies with guns and fighting and high speed chases... I never acually DO any of that shit, I just find it exhilarating to watch.

    Kind of in the same way, I like to watch all sorts of porn as long as the girl(s) are sexy and sensual and the guy(s) have nice big cocks . Do I want to ever try DP? Absolutely not.. I don't even like anal! But it can still turn me on to watch it.

    Don't overreact. We're all uniquely sexual beings.









    “Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” -Alan Watts

  29. #22
    God/dess
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,142
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked 1,112 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Quote Originally Posted by dididancer View Post
    There was a lot of the typical stuff I would expect, girl-on-girl, threesomes, etc. This doesn't bother me. But what I found disturbing is that there was some weird anal stuff with gigantic, ridiculously large things being shoved up women's assholes and some strange bondage stuff where women's breasts were being tied up with rope.

    I think what is bothering more than anything is that I have offered to watch porn with him and told me he didn't want to do that. I also have offered to try anal with him and said he didn't want to do that because he thought anal was disgusting. I know porn is an outlet for fantasies that you wouldn't necessarily act out. However, I feel like he is two people telling me one thing and doing another. I feel some what shut out from him. I want to share his fantasies and I want him to be sexually fulfilled. I thought we had a good sex life, but now I don't know if I am wrong and he is unhappy. Or is this perfectly normal and I am just completely naive?
    I agree with the others that you're overreacting... The thing about internet porn is that you can surf and get into all kinds of weird sexual stuff. Then, you get turned on by something that is "deviant" and you don't want to tell your SO, because you're embarassed about it or afraid of what she'll think about you. (For example, if a guy gets aroused watching images of girls peeing in public, he is not going to run and tell his GF that, because she'll tell him... "WTF? You want me to pee in public to get you horny,... you creepy sick bastard!... Get the fuck out of here.") In my case, amongst my other strange fetishes (lingerie, stockings, latex, dominatrices), I get aroused with internet images of trashy street prositutes. I've never had sex with a trashy street prostitute, nor do I want to IRL, but oddly,... these images arouse me. Am I going to disclose this to my GF - no way! She'll think I'm having sex with trashy street prositutes and my GF will become scared of contracting STDs from me.

    Your BF probably feels guilty, embarassed and conflicted regarding his "perverse" taste in porn, and he doesn't want to risk your disapproval, repulsion and/or condemnation.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 01-31-2011 at 11:04 AM.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

  30. #23
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Boston MA
    Posts
    5,670
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 144 Times in 74 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    I think what is bothering more than anything is that I have offered to watch porn with him and told me he didn't want to do that. I also have offered to try anal with him and said he didn't want to do that because he thought anal was disgusting. I know porn is an outlet for fantasies that you wouldn't necessarily act out. However, I feel like he is two people telling me one thing and doing another. I feel some what shut out from him. I want to share his fantasies and I want him to be sexually fulfilled. I thought we had a good sex life, but now I don't know if I am wrong and he is unhappy. Or is this perfectly normal and I am just completely naive?
    Breathe in deeply, clear your mind and repeat after me:

    It's not about me...it's not about me...it's not about me.

    Don't be bothered by the fact he's watching Anal Queens 37 and Tie Me Up and Strap My Tits 29--because it's not about you.

    If he wanted to share his fantasies with you, he would, and it's probably best that he doesn't, based on your attitude. Stop trying to share his fantasies--it's not about you.

    Women have this incredibly annoying tendency in relationships to want to be everything to their man and involve themselves in his life in every capacity. Guess what? We fucking hate that shit! It's goddamn suffocating!

    Go and be yourself--that's presumably why he is with you, no? Don't feign interest or identification with things that are his and not your own, be it golf, porn, stamps or fly fishing. Let his things be his things.

    If he watches porn that disturbs you, take comfort in the fact that it's not about you. Men like variety in women and even when they're scratching that itch in ways seen as unacceptable by social norms, guess what--it's not about you!

    He can still love you and enjoy watching Sasha Grey take a baseball bat up the ass--without you having to watch it or take a bat in the ass yourself.

    Get some perspective.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  31. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Casual Observer For This Useful Post:


  32. #24
    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,016
    Thanks
    2,110
    Thanked 4,475 Times in 2,023 Posts
    My Mood
    Brooding

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Quote Originally Posted by dididancer View Post
    I know porn is an outlet for fantasies that you wouldn't necessarily act out. However, I feel like he is two people telling me one thing and doing another.
    I totally love porn that is shit I would absolutely 100% never, ever, EVER, even begin to consider doing in real life. Just sayin.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

  33. #25
    Featured Member MistyRose's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2010
    Location
    now|here
    Posts
    974
    Thanks
    1,463
    Thanked 1,693 Times in 501 Posts

    Default Re: Just Discovered Husband's Porn Habit

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    I totally love porn that is shit I would absolutely 100% never, ever, EVER, even begin to consider doing in real life. Just sayin.
    +1

    I get turned on watching a chick roughed up by 3 guys. Do I want to do it? Hell no.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. How do I tell her about a bad habit of hers?
    By stawj in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 09-11-2011, 12:14 PM
  2. bad habit
    By kenzi19 in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-20-2010, 09:52 AM
  3. bad habit
    By kenzi19 in forum Body Business
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-13-2010, 10:23 PM
  4. Weird tanning habit
    By Windy in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 08-09-2007, 03:02 PM
  5. when hustling becomes a habit
    By xarechow in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 11-26-2005, 08:55 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •