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Thread: When exes return

  1. #1
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    Default When exes return

    This isn't something I want advice on (I'm not going back with him) but something I find rather strange. I just received a Facebook request from an ex. That in itself isn't bad, but there's more. He wants to go out with me again (he's going through a divorce and has 3 kids).

    I should probably explain his story. I met him in 1989 and we had a long distance relationship. He was probably someone I never should have dated because he was weird. He was 21, still in high school and every weekend he spent in jail. We lived 5 hours from each other. He found someone near him a few months later. I didn't know this at the time because the distance. I didn't find out until I sent him money to come visit me and I found out he used the money on another girl. So we broke up, I moved on, but about 6 months later he wanted to be together again because he broke up with this girl. I rejected him and that was it for 2 years. Then in 1992 he reappeared on my doorstep asking for another chance. We spent the day together downtown and then I told him friends only. Through the years he lost my phone number but started to call relatives asking where I was. Last year he wanted to get back together, but I told him I was engaged (a lie). Now he found out I am on a break (forever, who knows?) from the one guy and he wants a chance again. I am still not interested in being with him again. Strangely, he's done well and owns a business now.

    He wasn't the only guy I dated who wanted to reunite. Ot of every guy I dated (and I dated a lot) everyone single guy except two returned. I took back two briefly but that's it. One guy was (and is) a great guy and we only didn't work because of religious issues. The second one I never should have taken back. The rest I never took back (I am still friends with the one with religious reasons). At one point 5 (yes!) exes all tried to reconnect.

    I'm not asking for advice since I have no intention of taking any of them back. I might consider my last guy (the one I mention often) but only if he gets over his issues. I'm just curious if this is a common thing for everyone.

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: When exes return

    One of my exes always comes sniffing around when I'm with someone else.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: When exes return

    yes ... and I respond in the same way every time !!!

    ' Bye .... next ! '

    To put it simply, if a guy demonstrated his immaturity / instability / inadequacies / eccentricities or whatever to a sufficient degree to get dumped once, there is near zero probability that the passage of time has completely cured those ills. Life is too short to waste time on a known 'loser' at the lost opportunity cost of not finding 'Mister Right' ( or 'Mister Right Now LOL ! )

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    Default Re: When exes return

    This guy really was a loser though he has become respectable (he's a business owner). I'm not considering getitng back with him at all, because my experience is that like mentioned the reasons we broke up always resurface. It's just funny that almost all my ex's return. I would never even consider taking back a man who dumped me for another woman (or man I suppose if that happened).

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: When exes return

    I would just get him out of my life and stop communicating. Who cares that he's a business owner.. anyone can be. That doesnt reguard their personality.

    Anyway, ex's seem to always pop up when your life moves on. I think its best to stop communicating to him, a hello is a step welcoming him back in.

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    Default Re: When exes return

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    I would just get him out of my life and stop communicating. Who cares that he's a business owner.. anyone can be. That doesnt reguard their personality.
    Oh yes. Soooo many of my exes "own a business," and they will all bring that up in conversation every five minutes. For some reason, it's always a pizza shop, or some miscellaneous online pyramid scheme.

    Sure, I've had exes contact me at random times. It usually seems to be when their most recent meal ticket disappeared, and they remember how much of their shit I put up with when I was like 18. For some reason, I ended up paying a lot of bills for my boyfriends back then. And you better believe guys remember that shit. They don't come sniffing around because they like you and want to "try again"...they want to use you again. People don't change.

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    Default Re: When exes return

    I did have an ex who used me and came back a year later. This guy was slime, bottom of the barrel slime. He was a DJ at a club I was dancing at but also a pimp. I moved in with him after not knowing him a long time (big mistake), found out he was a pimp. When I refused, he kicked me out but not before he stole money and other items from me. I actually filed several police reports on him and even have him on tape admitting he did this. Needless to say he came back, asking to be boyfriend/girlfriend again. I turned him down, but said I would if he returned my items. Of course he never did.

    The story doesn't end there. Many years later I was on another exotic dancer forum and I posted the name of the one club I worked at. He actually pmed me! He didn't know who I was but I know who he was.

    I know it's hard to believe but the guy who contacted me (not the DJ/Pimp one) is actually a decent guy. The business he owns is an electronics store (he sells car stereos mostly)and before that was a racecar driver for NASCAR.

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default Re: When exes return

    yeah most of my exes returned. and always reaffirmed what I already knew..exs are exs for a reason.at least mine!
    Some are great guys too. But in the end, as ive said, they are exs for a reason.

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    Default Re: When exes return

    They usually are, though I know people who married former exes so there are exceptions. I'm not getting back with him, actually it's pretty sad that 21 years later he still wants to reconnect. Between the time we broke up to now he's been married twice. For that alone I wouldn't give him a chance (and I have a strict no dads policy).

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    Default Re: When exes return

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    Yeah.. dont Kelly.. I think you';re just going through a phrase with all the stuff going on. How's that single Chruch hook-up going ? Just keep exs for exs.. He still seems like the same person.. Maybe he is just realizing no girl will get with him. Whats a guy to do when he has his litte black-book in hand.
    I have no intention of going back to this guy. First off, I haven't dated him in 21 years so why he's coming back I have no idea. It's actually kind of creepy. Not to mention my strict no dads policy. Not to mention he lives 6 hours from me. Plus the fact that he originally dumped me for a girl who lived closer. No way would I take him back. In fact I really don't want to see him either, but I am waiting for him to one day show up on my doorstep. He's harmless but still. This guy is not very attractive and I only dated him to have a boyfriend.

    I won't be going to the church singles group probably until the spring. It's about an hour from me and I live out in the country. We get terrible blizzards and I hate to drive far in this weather. Once the snow leaves then I'll go. Plus by then I figure if I don't hear from my last ex (the one I mentioned) then he's gone forever.

    Just to clarify it, this guy is not the same guy I often talk about. The one I talk about is never married/no kids. This guy is someone I dated 21 years ago.

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    Default Re: When exes return

    it does happen..but usually bc they want to use u again..

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    Default Re: When exes return

    I think this guy knows I am the hottest girl he dated. That's not bragging, it's stating a fact (I've seen many of his exes). I did consider getting back with one ex but he was a sweet guy and we broke up strictly because I knew I couldn't marry him (his family are Baptists).

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    Default Re: When exes return

    Old but apt saying: "Forget the people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."

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    Default Re: When exes return

    I hung around with this one guy (he was 19, i'm 21) for a brief while before ditching his ass. He treated me like shit and came crawling back out of nowhere.

    When I found out about his affinity for heroin thats when I had to walk away. I am now in a relationship with a much better (and more stable) man that knows how to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I do the same in return. Thankfully all he does is drink in moderation and smoke weed every so often.


    Exes are that for a reason, whatever that may be

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