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Thread: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

  1. #1
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    I just need to vent...

    I posted in October 2009 that my grandmother was diagnosed with late stage pancreatic cancer, and was told she had 3 months to live.

    By some miracle, my grandmother defied that prognosis, and is still fighting cancer today.

    However, this week it took a horrible turn, and she is in so much pain. I saw her at Christmas, and she looked good, and happy. Then I saw her this past week, and in that brief 3 week span, she must have lost another 50 pounds (and she was a very thin woman to start with).

    My grandmother is fiercely independent and stubborn, and when the doctors told her she needed to stay in the hospital, she threatened to walk home in the snow (and she would too).

    They tried to tell her she needed hospice care, but my grandmother refuses to let anyone into her home, and certainly won't let anyone help her do anything. I offered to move in with her to help her, and I thought she was going to beat me.

    But unfortunately, pancreatic cancer is just evil, and soon my grandmom won't be able to feed herself, wash herself, etc, and she will HAVE to have a nurse.

    We're just beginning to see the confusion and illusions, and it's going to get worse. So will the unbelievable pain.

    My grandmom is the strongest person I have ever met-she buried her mother, her husband, her 8 brothers and sisters, and did it with grace and never shed a tear.

    She wanted to die with some dignity and strength, and that's going to be robbed from her. She keeps asking the doctor isn't there just something she can take to die before it gets worse, but of course, there isn't.

    This is just awful.

  2. #2
    God/dess MargaritaVillain's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    Prayers out to you and your grandma
    When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... then find someone whose life gave them vodka, and have a party.

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  4. #3
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    I'm really sorry, and yes, pancreatic cancer is the worst cancer. It's just horrid. Practically untreatable and a near-certain death. I'm surprised she's lasted this long. You're usually dead within a year of diagnosis.

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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    I'm so sorry to hear your grandmother's condition worsened. I really hope she can beat the odds and get better.

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    Im sorry to hear that.. Your grandmother is still a strong person, and she will be no matter what.

    My prayers go out to your grandmother and you.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    I lost one of my best college friends to this a few years back. He was 35 or so, and a tough motherfucker. I tried telling him I thought maybe he should ignore the doctors, that he was one of the strongest guys I'd ever met, and maybe he could beat it if he believed he could--at least for a while. All I did was make him mad (I heard).

    It is indeed one of the very worst kinds of cancer. Sorry for you and your grandmother.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Featured Member Christany's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    (((Hugs))) girl. I just have to tell you how amazing she sounds, and I think I can guarantee you that no matter what she'll *always* have dignity and strength. I hope she knows how inspiring she is. She sounds like a feisty hot tamale. I like this woman already!
    Quote Originally Posted by markx View Post
    I'd have to have a "4 simease twin strippers gave me head and then lite themselves on fire" story to blow anybody's mind here.

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    Senior Member xNatashax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    My sympathies. Cancer is a bitch.
    It's unfortunate that the chances of us dying of the disease sooner or later are pretty high, it's just life. But it's never easy excepting it.

    And I agree with the others, she sounds like a very strong charismatic woman, and will always be... make sure she knows this. *hugs*

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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    You have my sympathies. I hope your grandmother changes her mind about hospice. It not only benefits the patient, but also the patient's family.

    Does your grandmother have an Advanced Medical Directive? It may be beneficial to you if you contact a hospice facility and explain your circumstances and perhaps they can provide some input as to how best deal with your unfortunate situation. No one should have to see loved ones suffer unnecessarily and I hope there is a way to resolve this that comforts all as best as possible.

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    Thanks everyone for your comments-they really do help.

    I just got back from the hospital. She's in good spirits, but she looks horrible; she's remarkably thin and weak. She's not the least bit upset about dying, but she doesn't like being in the hospital hooked up to 100000 contraptions. She just wants to go home.

    At this point, we can only pray that she dies quickly and easily-any sort of recovery is just not possible.

  13. #11
    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    I just wante dto update...

    Thanks everyone for your thoughts and comments-I really appreciate them.

    My grandmother went home earlier this week, and quickly dismissed the nurses and hospice.

    Last night, she sent my parents away, and asked them to come back this morning to take her to the casino.

    When they arrived, she was in bed. She had passed away quietly in the night, her little dog curled up with her.

    As always, she did things on her own terms. She wanted to be in her home, without a fuss and a stream of visitors. She also died before the worst symptoms of the cancer could take over, and for that I am very grateful.

    So truly, thank you for all of your support.

  14. #12
    Featured Member Corey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    Oh gosh. It is good to hear that she stuck to her own terms.

    I was in the hospital for a week over Christmas. All I had was an abscess and I knew I would be ok (even though I had a uterine cancer biopsy before my ER experience. At the time of being admitted, I was still waiting for results. I am one of the lucky ones).

    But the woman I roomed with had cancer of the asaphagus.(sp?). She had been in and out of the hospital since September. She was from New Orleans. Her mother was still alive, but she and other family members abandoned her. Her daughter here in Los Angeles had her move out to be with her.

    She had lost over 40 lbs and was on all kinds of drugs, sterioids, et. I also caught pneumonia during my stay. Therefore, I didn't talk with her too much as I didn't want to make her feel any worse by infecting her with it.

    But she was so strong. Each day w/ her was different. One day, she had the appetite of a horse, the next day she could barely get out of bed. But she worked that hospital gown like a runway model.

    She and her daughter were shopping for hospices. I had no idea what a hospice represented. This woman gave me a entirely new outlook on life.

    I don't think she will recover but I hope she keeps her attitude and dignity as your grandmother did.
    (Formerly known as 'Korina')

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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    Im sorry for your loss. My fiances grandmother died from pancreatic cancer 2 years ago and lived almost 18 months with it.

  16. #14
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pancreatic Cancer is Evil

    I am sorry for your loss.

    I am glad to see she got her own way. I wouldn't refuse my grandma's wishes as I respect her dearly.

    She went with peace, support, and dignity. She will be with you and your family when needed, all the best.

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