It really bothers me that my fiancee is so unaccepting of the LGBT community. Whenever the topic of gender reassignment comes up on a TV show or movie, he does this whole over-the-top physical shudder that's pretty theatrical. He has the same reaction whenever the topic of homosexuality comes up. He says he's very uncomfortable with homosexuality because the first gay guy he ever met was extremely sexually inappropriate with him and kept physically harassing him after being rejected numerous times. He was a teenager then.
And he says the idea of gender reassignment surgery really bothers him. He says he doesn't understand transgender people, because, "Most of them end up switching back anyways." By this, he doesn't mean they go back to their original gender; he means that a heterosexual man will have a gender reassignment and then become a lesbian. So why wouldn't they just have stayed a man? He really doesn't seem to understand the difference between gender identity and sexual preference. And no matter how many times I try to explain it, he still doesn't get it. He also thinks that a lot of gay people CHOOSE to be gay, because apparently he's known several girls who went through abusive relationships and then became lesbians only because "they didn't trust men anymore." My opinion is that these women were always at least bisexual, and now just solely date women. If you aren't attracted to a certain gender, I don't think there's anything that can MAKE you become attracted to them.
But anyways, like I said, he always has that really epic shudder whenever the topic comes up, and it bothers me extensively. I know he isn't gay, but his attitude is very troubling. It's like he's trying to prove something. I don't know if this is something he gets from his family (who are, among other things, extremely racist and very unaccepting of anyone different than they are, which includes everything from the LGBT community to almost every non-American culture, especially those who aren't from Western Europe), from his friends, or maybe from a past experience he's never discussed with me. I've tried discussing it with him, but he says he's allowed to be uncomfortable and then won't say anything else. This really seriously bothers me, because I find his attitude ignorant and close-minded, and I really can't stand those qualities.
Any advice?



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