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Last edited by girlfromipanema; 05-20-2011 at 10:37 AM. Reason: resolved
Sounds like number 2 already had his chance and messed up. He didnt realize what he had let him live with that decision. If youdont even know who to marry i wouldnt be getting married at all. If you loved either one of them, youd know and it wouldnt be a question...
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Last edited by girlfromipanema; 05-20-2011 at 10:36 AM. Reason: resolved
Out of those two i'd pick the current one, but neither seems ideal.



So you're going to decide who you marry based on the opinions of people on a message-board?



That's just what it seemed like to me, the most votes wins, lol.
Also why must you make a decision in 2 weeks?
I'm SO big on second chances...And third, fourth, and fifth, etc. But I can honestly say that there's a reason why you go running back to the same person. There are hundreds of times I could've left my man and should have maybe, and we continue to butt heads, but I wouldn't replace him with anyone. And I do mean anyone.
Now, usually I'd say number 2, because I think those things can be changed. If he is deciding to try to commit to you, I'd tell him that a function of being committed is NOT going out with his boys because that's something that childish men do. And he seems to be trying to move toward more mature decisions and a more adult lifestyle. But I doubt he will change his mind about your dancing. He will most likely ALWAYS feel insecure about this and it will cause turmoil. Even if you gave him an ultimatum, he might still hate it, even if he pretends not to, unless of course he's had a change of heart.
You also have to consider the question of whether you'd still like to dance while you're married. It definitely changes things and creates different priorities. If you want kids, you will have to take at least a 6 month break from dancing!
It's funny because I have some similar issues with my current man that may become complications once we get to the marriage stage, if we do. So I feel your pain girl. It sounds corny but go with who makes you the happiest. There is ZERO replacement for total contentment, even if you have issues that seem unsolvable. Just picture the issue working out in your mind and it will. I can't even tell you how many seemingly irreparable situations have suddenly become simple just because I used the art of positive thinking.
#3.
I think that if you find the right person, you won't want to think about making a choice between two people. The whole "who should I choose" thing just strikes me as odd, especially the "I must make a decision in two weeks."
Why must you? That alone tells me to stay single and find a guy that you don't have doubts about.
I would pick number 1. He seems more realsitc for marriage, you can dance anywhere he travels. Money wouldnt be a problem, and lastly you two have fun together.
The ex has his chance, ex's always run back whenever they have no one else. He sees you moving on, but doesnt want you to. He had his chance with you, he ruined it, you two fight and other than he seems to drink too much AND doesn support your job.. Seems like he didnt change.
I would go with number 1.. but truely, I would want more time... way more to realize whether guy 1 is right or not in the long run...
Why do you have to pick so soon? In reality.. I would need more time... Dealing with papers is no joke.
#3 Seriously, if you are trying to decide between 2 people; my theory, you ain't that thrilled about either.
PS: It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders thinking about your career and all; wait for that guy you can't live without..









This sounds like you just want to marry anyone and that's a bad idea. I would say neither because if you have to ask which one to marry you should marry neither. Find someone that you know is a sure thing.
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Last edited by girlfromipanema; 05-20-2011 at 10:38 AM. Reason: resolved





Why do you need to make the decision in two weeks? If one or both of them proposes to you, why can't you tell him that you're not ready for marriage right now, but perhaps in the future you would be ready to marry him? If you're not sure, IMO you should take your time in making the decision. This will make it less likely you will end up with regrets.
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Last edited by Roxychu; 03-18-2013 at 06:46 PM.




I say number three for right now, BUT if you have to choose, choose the first guy since there seems to be more interests there. Seems a little flaky with backing out on the moving in thing twice, but ah well. I might worry that he'd cheat if he travels that much. If you choose the first guy, I would say insist on a long engagement, say 2 and a half years, so you can iron out some of the uncertainties that are making you hesitant.




I must agree. To be honest, if you need to ask here, then I'd suggest that you're not ready to get married anyway (no offence intended). It's difficult to describe in words - but a woman usually KNOWS when she's met the guy she will marry. I did - straight away.
So like others here, I suggest #3....and there's no deadline on choosing a life partner either, so the 2 weeks bit is irrelevant.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls don't have the time..!!"




If you have to ask, neither of them. When you find the right one, you'll know for yourself whether you should marry him.
I would go with #1, seems like a nice guy. He wants to take care of you plus lets you be yourself. If I was guy number 1 I wouldn't like the idea of number 2 being in the equation. Seems like some playing is going on here....
To me marrying someone doesn't require questions...u just KNOW.


number 1![]()
First off, I gotta tell you: from experience, you do NOT want to get seriously involved with ANYONE who has a drinking problem.
Not to mention the fact that your ex has just appeared out of the blue with this request...why on earth would you just drop everything and run off to marry him? The relationship you described with him sounds pretty toxic, and marriage is NEVER the solution to ANY of those problems.
I'd say number one, but has he actually proposed yet? Isn't this sort of one of those counting-your-chickens-before-they-hatch thing? Maybe you should just relax and let things take their course.
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Last edited by girlfromipanema; 05-20-2011 at 10:39 AM. Reason: resolved
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Last edited by girlfromipanema; 05-20-2011 at 10:39 AM. Reason: resolved
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