Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member ShellyConnors's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    543
    Thanks
    867
    Thanked 1,301 Times in 335 Posts

    Default Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    ....................
    Last edited by ShellyConnors; 01-27-2011 at 04:11 PM.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    Honestly, it would depend, but I had to dump my best friend of over 25 years. We were friends since high school (met first day of high school) were inseperable most times, but then we would not talk for months. Just a few things she did.

    1) I introduced her to another friend and these two became friends and left me in the dust. They then started stalking me at home (this was when I was 16) and they would go out do drugs and have sex with random friends. Looking back I should have ditched her then but no and it caused a lot of trouble later on.

    2) She would get mad at her boyfriend (who was her mom's former alcoholic boyfriend) and they would beat each other up. Then afterwards he blamed me. Many times I would go there, they'd go into a fight, then he'd blame me. I once went over there, he hit me, I hit him back and I got arrested. My friend actually turned against me in court (I got court supervision and charges were later dropped). Another time her boyfriend had one of his friends beat me up, then my friend begged me not to press charges. I did, and she refused to speak to me for years.

    3) She ended up dumping him (in an irony he later apologized for what he did) and married someone else. Because I didn't approve of the marriage (her husband doesn't have a high school diploma or a job)she didn't invite me to her wedding.

    4) In general she was an embarassment. She would get drunk and swear or accuse my brother's coach of having sex with her. The last straw (after putting up with her abuse) was when she swore at her son's graduation, threatened to beat me up, and I walked out. This was 3 year this May and I wish I had done it sooner. My whole family hated it and so did most of my other friends.

    I bring this up to make a point that toxic friends really add nothing and if it's something very evil, I would dump her. Don't make the mistake of taking her back like I did. My friend started out doing a bunch of other things not mentioned (drunk driving, drugs, etc) I ignored it and it got worse.

  3. #3
    Senior Member xxxchili's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    127
    Thanks
    70
    Thanked 144 Times in 46 Posts

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    Shelley...it sounds like she has remorse for what happened...so that should count for something. It doesn't sound like she is continuing to do it. It is so hard not knowing what it was that she did. Unconditional love is an interesting topic though...I mean its great to actually love and care for someone no matter what they do....however, I also think you can still love and care about them, but just not be around them any more...or keep your distance. I don't know...tough one...go with your feelings.

  4. #4
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    Really hard to answer that question without actually knowing the situation, if you don't want to tell us then the only one who can make that decision is you.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member ShellyConnors's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    543
    Thanks
    867
    Thanked 1,301 Times in 335 Posts

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    ...................................
    Last edited by ShellyConnors; 01-27-2011 at 04:12 PM.

  6. #6
    Member
    Joined
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    55
    Thanks
    59
    Thanked 40 Times in 18 Posts

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    UGHH. what a horrid situation. your friend seriously needs help. before cutting her off perhaps try getting her some therapy? maybe she was molested as a child? If she really is your best friend and youre the only one in the world she confided in, then youre the only one who can help her.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Rarity For This Useful Post:


  8. #7
    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,520
    Thanks
    348
    Thanked 878 Times in 506 Posts

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    I'd cut her off, same as I would a male friend that did the same. I'd also probably report her to law enforcement. There shouldn't be two different standards for men vs women in my opinion.
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to princessjas For This Useful Post:


  10. #8
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    Yeah, that's a dealbreaker. If it was a male who did that we'd be talking about involving the cops.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  12. #9
    Veteran Member anelia's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Candyland
    Posts
    241
    Thanks
    142
    Thanked 45 Times in 27 Posts

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    i'd never give up on my sister if she killed someone...even if it was in cold blood.
    my brother HAS killed people (he is a soldier) and i forgive him. i hope he forgives himself.

    sorry that's not really helpful, there's a big difference between murder/sleeping with a young girl that came onto you really strong. she probably really needs you right now, if only to be like "DUDE THAT IS NOT OKAY. i am grossed out by you right now!" you probably are the only person in the world she can talk to. but she doesn't sound like she's very good for your life. you have lost respect for her, and wouldn't confide in her similarly. that is a friendship-killer. whoever posted about toxic friends is right...it's brutal but true.
    "I'm teaching fools some basic rules. / I believe in the Golden Rule. The man with the gold rules. / I made a little money.
    And like the Bible says, I was enjoying the fruits of my labor. This is my comeback. This is me doing what I love to do." -- Mr. T

    "In the street I am my divine self. In the club I am a stripper, portraying a fantasy.
    That's not to say anybody can do or say anything to me but it's acting. Playing a role. That simple." -- Pure


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to anelia For This Useful Post:


  14. #10
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Chicago burbs (N)
    Posts
    365
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 69 Times in 55 Posts

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Yeah, that's a dealbreaker. If it was a male who did that we'd be talking about involving the cops.
    Nucklehead, legally speaking, the gender of the adult doesn't matter at all.

  15. #11
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    Quote Originally Posted by penandink1019 View Post
    Nucklehead, legally speaking, the gender of the adult doesn't matter at all.
    Obviously, what i meant is there would be a lot more outrage if a male had done the same thing.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  17. #12
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    Quote Originally Posted by anelia View Post
    my brother HAS killed people (he is a soldier) and i forgive him. i hope he forgives himself.
    That is not the same, and i don't see how it would ever need forgiving.

  18. #13
    Veteran Member ShellyConnors's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    543
    Thanks
    867
    Thanked 1,301 Times in 335 Posts

    Default Re: Should I cut my best friend of 11 years out of my life?

    thanks for all the responses...

Similar Threads

  1. Not cut out for life after sex work...
    By AudrinaN in forum Life Support
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 02-26-2011, 12:03 AM
  2. Replies: 49
    Last Post: 01-28-2011, 07:41 PM
  3. To friend or not to friend: Hanging out with coworkers
    By Athena87 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 09-22-2009, 12:49 PM
  4. my best friend is dating a life ruiner...
    By i.breathe.in in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-13-2008, 11:20 AM
  5. Guy buys friend a dance, friend says no thanks
    By Kaylinn in forum Hustle Hut
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 01-17-2008, 03:44 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •