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Thread: It's so hard to be pretty

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    Veteran Member So Fine Divyne's Avatar
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    Reminder It's so hard to be pretty

    In the thread about being a loner Nuclear Martini posted about telling her bf how hard it is for attractive girls to make friends because other girls are often worried about said friend taking the attention off of them. I thought of how many of us dancers are loners for that reason. I considered whether it is what we do or our appearance that makes this more true or not and I think appearance plays a role. I included a story in the other post about an incident that happened to me.


    Quote Originally Posted by So Fine Divyne View Post
    That stood out to me so much. People think oh, its so hard to be you. Poor pretty girl. When stupid things happen when other people are around they get it then. One bf told me everyday I went out I had a "bitches being mean to me cuz I'm pretty story". But when I tried to get my lights turned on I kept getting sent to this one lady's desk and everyday she made me wait 15-30 mins and then said I needed this form, she didn't like the way my id looked, she needed something more current, yadda yadda yadda. The 5th day, new apt I can't stay in no lights, I was in queue to go to her desk again. Bitch got up and went to lunch. Lady next to her says you've been here 5 times, what's the problem? Gave her all my papers and got it done in 5 mins. Lady even asked me did I know the lady or date her son or ex or something? Told her I had never set eyes on her in my life. Things like that let me know some people judge others simply on looks and decide if you look a certain way they will make things difficult for you. Things like that make it easier to have a few good friends and just some acquaintances.

    I often think people assume attractive people always get perks, but I honestly think I have had more negative experiences than positive ones because of this. I can not even recall how many arguments I have publicly had with strangers, mostly females, who decided they didn't like me simply based on my appearance and needed to voice their opinion. Does anyone else ever deal with issues like this?
    Thank Goodness I smartened up! The old me is dead and gone.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Yep all the time. People think being pretty is terrific and it is in some cases but not all.

    Just a few examples why it can suck:

    Men often think I already have a boyfriend or husband so they don't bother. When they do ask me out and I turn them down they automatically assume I am a bitch. Other men think of me as a sex partner but not a wife. Unfortunately I had this problem doing online too. Many men just assumed I was a fake profile so they either ignored me or sent nasty messages.

    Women often thought I was after their men. Yep, I've had many women come after me for this. One woman was the neighbor of a friend and because I smiled at her husband I was interested. Um no, I smile at everyone who's nice to me because I am a nice person. Another woman was crank calling me because her husband told her he thought I was hot. Other women didn't want to be my friend because they were jealous.

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    I'm sure nobody here would rather be ugly.


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    Veteran Member So Fine Divyne's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    I'm sure nobody here would rather be ugly.
    No, but have you ever had someone walk right up to you and attempt to hit you as hard as they fucking could because their s.o. was looking at you? Have you had the car you drive keyed end to end because someone simply didn't like you? Have you and your friends ever had a knockdown drag out fight because you refused to respond to someone's personal taunts and slurs? Have you been called a stuck up bitch, bitch or hoe on a daily basis just because you turned a guy down at a corner store? Have you ever had a bday party and had someone intentionally try to waste drinks/hot wings all over you because you are wearing white? Have you ever had a 50 plus yr old lady send her son and daughter in a store to fight you because she stared at you and when you looked at her, looked and never said a word, she called you a ugly dirty bitch for no reason at all? Well, its all happened to me.

    See its not all about the pretty. Its about the ugly that jealousy brings about in others.I started this thread because everyone thinks people who are pretty live the easy life, but I wanted others to share their experiences because I knew I wasn't the only one. A lot of my friends had your same attitude til they were out with me and something happened.
    Thank Goodness I smartened up! The old me is dead and gone.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Look, i understand being pretty carries a lot of issues associated with it, I'm sure rich people don't like paying a lot of taxes either and guys with huge dicks hate that they can never get a decent blow job. It still beats the alternative though doesn't it? you can't complain about something when you are obviously better off for having it than you would be without it, it's that simple.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Hey now, a lot of my boyfriends have huge dicks. What are you saying about my skills? I've been ugly and I've been pretty. Pretty has its annoyances, but it is flat out better.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Look, i understand being pretty carries a lot of issues associated with it, I'm sure rich people don't like paying a lot of taxes either and guys with huge dicks hate that they can never get a decent blow job. It still beats the alternative though doesn't it? you can't complain about something when you are obviously better off for having it than you would be without it, it's that simple.
    Well said.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Quote Originally Posted by So Fine Divyne View Post
    No, but have you ever had someone walk right up to you and attempt to hit you as hard as they fucking could because their s.o. was looking at you? Have you had the car you drive keyed end to end because someone simply didn't like you? Have you and your friends ever had a knockdown drag out fight because you refused to respond to someone's personal taunts and slurs? Have you been called a stuck up bitch, bitch or hoe on a daily basis just because you turned a guy down at a corner store? Have you ever had a bday party and had someone intentionally try to waste drinks/hot wings all over you because you are wearing white? Have you ever had a 50 plus yr old lady send her son and daughter in a store to fight you because she stared at you and when you looked at her, looked and never said a word, she called you a ugly dirty bitch for no reason at all? Well, its all happened to me.

    See its not all about the pretty. Its about the ugly that jealousy brings about in others.I started this thread because everyone thinks people who are pretty live the easy life, but I wanted others to share their experiences because I knew I wasn't the only one. A lot of my friends had your same attitude til they were out with me and something happened.

    Many of those experiences are worse than some I've dealt with. I thought of another one. I mentioned this in the "I was called a ho at the gym thread" where me and a friend were out shopping for lingerie to start dancing. We are sitting at the food court minding our own business looking at the outfits when the girls at the next table started calling us whores and sluts. Need I mention they were heifers?

    Oh and that reminds me of many times where people assumed because I was pretty I must be a slut. I've had many guys take me out thinking they'll get some, then drop me off when they realize they won't. I should mention I had a friend who was a big time slut (she slept with every guy she knew) and she was the ugliest thing ever.

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    Veteran Member Fenriswolf's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Just because some people have it worse (there's always someone who has it worse!) doesn't mean you're not entitled to vent about it. That said, the being called a ho/abused because you turn a guy down/seriously creepy cat calling happens no matter what you look like unfortunately.

    Regardless, there's nothing wrong with needing to share something that can be really upsetting.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    If I was a fat ugly bitch with a gut, witch nose and stretch marks working minimum wage, there would be a lot less objections to my relationship with him. -_-
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    I think it's tough for both sides of the fence. It's probably tough for the older/fatter/uglier women who have no luck as far as men go, and who may be ridiculed and stared at in public. But it seems to be a bit more of a faux pas now for anyone to pick on the ugly/fat/old person.

    I remember in school, the stereotype was that the fat kids had it worst. I don't think that's true. I was wicked skinny when I was a kid, and I got bullied worse than anyone. The guys were much harder on me than the girls were. It wasn't physical bullying, though, and it died down once I hit 9th grade and my tits went from an A to a large C over the summer. Then all of the sudden the guys LOVED me, and then all the girls hated me, and the little barbs and rumors and catty comments the girls would make hurt just as much as the blunt stuff guys had said before.

    I don't know why, but it seems much more socially acceptable to discriminate against someone attractive than someone unattractive. People try to take advantage, and nobody takes you seriously, and girls hate you as soon as they catch their boyfriend or husband checking you out. And the boyfriend or husband can range in age from 16 to 90, and the woman still has the same reaction. I get treated very poorly at my school, where the secretary for my department office is an EPIC bitch and does everything within her power to give me a hard time and fuck me over every time I go in there. I thought she was just like that with everyone, but a few weeks ago I was waiting for my advisor to come out and I saw her deal with a few fat girls and a bunch of guys who came in, and she was soooo sweet to every one of them. Then a hot girl came in, and she turned into Ms. Epic Cunt again.

    At the gym, older overweight women seem to have no problem with giving me a hard time, trying to embarrass me by saying I dress inappropriately (sweatpants, a sports bra and a cami is NOT inappropriate) while out on the gym floor in front of people, or while in the locker room in front of a lot of other older overweight women. They gang up quick. But I never see anyone at the gym giving fat women a hard time.

    Not to mention the fact that when you're hot, OTHER hot girls tend to look at you as a rival, and they'll gang up on you like they would never gang up on a girl they didn't see as a threat.

    I also agree with what Kellydancer said, about how most men only look at you as a potential fuck-buddy but never as a serious girlfriend. I can't count how many guys I've had really try to cheat on their SO's with me. And they always used the same line: "I'm in love with xyz, but I want to fuck YOU." And then, even if you totally shoot them down, you're always the bad guy after that, and all the girlfriends will hate you on principle.

    Interviewing for a job is an incredibly difficult task. If a man is doing the hiring, there's a risk that he'll hire you for the wrong reasons (i.e. wanting a sexy little secretary, or wanting to add the token brainless blonde bimbo to the office environment for all the men to drool over and patronize). If it's a women doing the hiring, especially if she's older, there's a risk she won't hire you at all because she thinks you would give off an inappropriate impression to other people. And how do I dress? I look banging hot in a suit, and there's no way to get around it, and a lot of people think that gives off a bad impression. If I try to dress dowdy, I feel like shit, and everyone looks at me like I can't afford clothes that fit, and that also gives off a bad impression. Once hired, you never really get taken seriously, no matter how good you are at your job.

    In school, when I make good grades and actively participate in class, people will comment on how they would get all A's too if they were fucking the professors. I make good grades because I'm smart. I don't need to fuck anyone to get an A, and I've never gotten involved with any of my teachers. But people always assume that about me.

    Yes, I would hate being ugly. I would much rather be attractive. But it isn't a walk in the park either, and it's not true at all that things come easier to you when you're hot.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    It sucks even worse when you gotta deal with shit from family members.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    If you highlight the worst aspects of both sides... Which I think has been done.

    I'll take superior looks any day.

    I will readily admit though, its extremely different for women versus for men.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Unfortunately, there has been this idea for a long time that pretty women aren't good wife potential. This song even talks about it. . It's a sexist song, but really puts this idea out there. My mom (who's still beautiful at 63 and looked like Barbie) even told me that guys sometimes bypassed her because of this.

    I am turning the tables on these guys. Next guy who asks me out because of my looks and wanting to sleep with me (not caring about anything else) will be a guy I completely use. I am going to see how many presents I can get but won't sleep with him. I wish I had thought of this in my 20's. I am completely tired of these jagoffs wanting to sleep with me but don't want to marry or date me (or they are already with someone). These men need to be taught a lesson.
    Last edited by Kellydancer; 02-01-2011 at 12:53 AM. Reason: spelling

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    -----
    Last edited by Athenathefabulous; 02-25-2011 at 03:34 AM.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    I don't think women get hate for being pretty, but for being confident. After I had my daughter I was well over 200 lbs and was loving my new ass and boobs. I pretty much lived in pencil skirts and buttoned up cardigans and got called all sorts of names for not being ashamed of the body I had to live in. I got hit on a lot and ridiculed for turning them down. I wasn't what society calls hot, but I was in almost every situation mentioned above. The lady grading my driving test failed me. I walked up to her smiling and polite and she eyed me up and down and dismissed me. I've lost the weight, and the comments and stares are the same because I'm still the same confident and content girl.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    IT REALLY CAN BE DIFFICULT!!
    I live in Las Vegas and I attract SO MANY (drunken) creepers! I work at a concert venue/ restraunt and drunk old men will be like "OH MY GOD! HOW OLD ARE YOU?! YOU LOOK 12!" "actually I'm almost 20" "OH REALLY DO YOU LIKE OLDER MEN?!" "uhm I dont know but apparently you like 12 year olds.."
    Men will follow me around stores when I shop alone, I can't walk down the street without being honked, yelled and whistled at every five feet..
    I'll get guys who will hit on me while their girlfriend is standing right there, looking at me like she wants to bite my head off.. AND I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!!
    There was a group of girls who TERRORIZED me in high school, because one girl hated me out of jealousy, and now because of it I feel like its so hard for me to have female friends at all.. I'm scared of girls even, because I assume that they'll automaticly hate me for no reason..
    I even stopped wearing make up, doing my hair and dressing nice to avoid attention..
    SO YES, I TOTALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN!
    but at the end of the day, when I can go home and be pretty in peace.. hahaha AHHHH, SO NICE!

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    The sad part about this thread its about the hardship of being beautiful.. I really just hate how people need to separate everything just make themselves feel better..

    I have almost been thru it all.. And I get mostly the same treatment. I been called a hoe, a slut, a whore, and every word you can think of.. The only difference I ever had was the attention.

    When I was in my terms ugly I would get men asking me for sex and calling me a stuck up bitch for saying no and they were being nice to me.. With women I only got the look when their boyfriends were looking for something else to fuck.

    When I feel plain I still got the "They were trying to be nice" to "You have to have a secret wild side" Girls look at me like I'm not fully on their radar but can be a threat, especially when they can't believe their men would ever look. This is when the pushed rumors started with me

    Now that I'm trying to take more care of myself I get more crap than the rest. Girls always giving me looks and calling me a whore out in public even tho I have no idea who they are.. Men trying to push or put their hands on me. When I go for jobs I get the looks from the men and lose the job when I don't react the right way to being petted.. I wear pretty low key clothes but still look nice. I don't show cleavage and I don't wear mini skirts. I don't even wear heels

    Now that I'm trying to dance I'm wearing the kinky outfits, short skirts, and heels. I have had only a small taste of what alot of girls describe but knowing what has happen to me in the past I think I have thick skin to handle it. But we will see.

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    Veteran Member miss cleo's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    While i agree that its definatley better to be attractive than not, it does lead some people to make assumptions such as how life must be so easy if you are pretty as if it somehow makes you immune to the shit that life throws at us all regardless of looks, money, celebrity etc. Also some guys think that if you are attractive then all guys kiss your ass so they try to be 'different' by being rude or mean. Little do they know that as a stripper or camgirl we get insulted by pricks everyday so if they want to be 'different', try acting like a gentleman!

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    I really don't know how to properly explain my issue with this. Bear with me.

    Guys that i may be into seem to really want to date me. Many of these guys in the past have really not been the right place in their life to have a relationship. Even tho I usually realize that they are making a mistake, they will get ALL WRAPPED UP in Shasta-land. They want to live and breathe in my world 24/7.

    But then they realize (and I see it coming), that they are in no position to be in a serious relationship. But they are in deep...

    And they have such a hard time telling me how they feel. In the end, I have to call them on it. And they always say the same thing. They tell me that is was so hard to tell me how they felt because I am so pretty, and because I always looked so nice, as well as saying nice things about my personality.

    I am 32, and this has happened MANY times. guys, stop getting all wrapped up in the life of a pretty girl when you are not ready for a relationship. Just be honest. Why is that so hard????????????

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    this may or not be related...
    but i seem to run across this problem with camming.
    while i myself have pretty low self esteem i can acknowledge that my face is highly symmetrically and considered attractive. i am not stick thin nor do i have large breasts but i have a very very small waist compared to large hips
    the face seems to cause a problem. while girls who are tiny toned and tanned with average or plain faces bank easily because they are easier to think of as highly sexual i am resigned to going through the same pattern over and over again .guys fall in love with me. they dont want to just fuck me. they want to woo me. meet me. love me. give themselves emotionally to me. this is obviously a problem when all im trying to do is make money and not start a relationship. so being highly facially attractive seems to work against me sometimes or so it would seem. i often wish i had a plain face and a gorgeous body...

    [/url]

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    It's not hard to change the way you look. Ugliness is just a few botox injections away. Or go the cheaper route and bludgeon yourself with a bag of quarters. Presto! No more men being afraid to date you or whatever.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Quote Originally Posted by So Fine Divyne View Post
    Have you had the car you drive keyed end to end because someone simply didn't like you?......... See, its not all about the pretty. Its about the ugly that jealousy brings about in others.I started this thread because everyone thinks people who are pretty live the easy life, but I wanted others to share their experiences because I knew I wasn't the only one. A lot of my friends had your same attitude til they were out with me and something happened.
    YUP been there done that. i wear unisex clothing sometimes just so i can 'dumb myself down' to a certain extent, OTC. Tripp jeans, chains, heavy metal t's, ripped jeans, boots..I think it helps with others perceptions of me, creates less resistance than if i really dressed nice or sexy. lets face it, people are judgmental and they have about 5 seconds to judge you on your looks, regardless of what's inside. its a biological instinct from when we were hunter-gatherers..we couldnt let strangers into our group, or those who looked sick etc. strange how this biological mechanism is still around today even though it does not serve the same purpose that it did in ancient times.

    I will dress nice for my man but that's about it.


    /


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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Never had it that bad like you girls.

    Worse I had it was in high school, a lot of kids though I was a big slut.
    Guys tried to date me just to score some.

    It probably stemmed from this douche that I liked and thought was really cute.
    He pressured me into doing some real sexual stuff (not sex) and told all his friends
    the next day (and we all hung out together).

    Was horrible.

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    Default Re: It's so hard to be pretty

    Guys have it bad as well....you don't know how many fights I've been in because of how good looking I am....SUCKS

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