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Thread: Put-off Lines

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Put-off Lines

    Not sure this is a whole thread worth, but...

    It was year-and-a-half into a five-year stint with my long-running favorite Miss J. I never asked her out, never even hinted at it. (I had another experience that would've kept me from doing something like that anyway. ) I just was enjoying the visits. I did see her outside a few times later, but nothing of a real get-together nature.

    Anyway, during a back-rub she turns to me and said, "The other girls think that I should start seeing you outside. I said no." I thought briefly and deflected it with "It would complicate things..." and left it at that.

    I guess the question I have is, if a guy is showing up all the time, have you girls tended to ward off any possible advances, by saying something like that?

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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    Quote Originally Posted by sadbuttrue View Post
    Anyway, during a back-rub she turns to me and said, "The other girls think that I should start seeing you outside. I said no." I thought briefly and deflected it with "It would complicate things..." and left it at that.
    I assume you are certain you know what she meant by "seeing you outside"?

    It can and does mean different things to different people.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    Quote Originally Posted by bem401 View Post
    I assume you are certain you know what she meant by "seeing you outside"?

    It can and does mean different things to different people.
    Actually, I wasn't sure/didn't let it even get far enough for her to explain. At the time I don't think I was even ready to do Pay-to-play or any other form of my supporting her.

    But my question is more about whether, it was a real statement to ward off any idea of outside play or it was just some new dancer thing to say or it was just supposed to be some sort of half turn-on....

    So I was just curious from a dancer point of view, which stratagem it was.

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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    I thought you were trying to discern whether it was a business proposal or personal invitation. You apparently saw her offer, perhaps correctly, as strictly business.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    I have no idea why she would bring this up...as a general rule, I would never bring it up unless the customer asked, and then I would deflect it (I don't do OTC).

    She may actually be hinting at seeing you OTC - saying that she would say no in order to get you to make an offer. Or she may be laying out the ground rules so that she doesn't feel like she is leading you on.

    I would advise talking to her - mention what she said, and then tell her that you have been wondering what she meant or why she brought it up? Its an odd one though!
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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    I have no idea why she would bring this up...as a general rule, I would never bring it up unless the customer asked, and then I would deflect it (I don't do OTC).

    She may actually be hinting at seeing you OTC - saying that she would say no in order to get you to make an offer. Or she may be laying out the ground rules so that she doesn't feel like she is leading you on.
    Exactly...
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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    Quote Originally Posted by ManyRoses View Post
    I have no idea why she would bring this up...as a general rule, I would never bring it up unless the customer asked, and then I would deflect it (I don't do OTC).

    She may actually be hinting at seeing you OTC - saying that she would say no in order to get you to make an offer. Or she may be laying out the ground rules so that she doesn't feel like she is leading you on.

    I would advise talking to her - mention what she said, and then tell her that you have been wondering what she meant or why she brought it up? Its an odd one though!
    Heh, unfortunately, I stopped with her two years ago. Although, I bumped into her a few days ago. She has now married and quit dancing.

    I wouldn't have taken it that way with her. Because some things about her were so private, I mean she did not want customers to know anything about her. And any hint at sex was inappropriate.

    But then there was another time much later, where she came back to continue our session and said "Some customer offered me $500 to go to his hotel room" and seemed happy about it. I deflected it with some remark. To be honest with you, at that point, I was thinking, "Kee-rist, depending on the conditions, I'd offer more".

    But, because we had kept it to a dance thing and above-board, I never considered it.

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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    I'd never even mention such a thing, and I can't see any point in saying something like that in the situation you describe.


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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    Sounds like she was fishing for an offer to me.. business offer

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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    Yes it was odd. I should have at least talked to her about it, instead of deflecting. Unfortunately, I thought that no meant NO and also did not want to screw up our regular thing, which went on for another 3+ years, by saying something wrong.

    Women are complicated enough and even moreso as exotic dancers.

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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Sounds like she was fishing for an offer to me.. business offer
    Agreed. If she had any sort of non-business interest in him there would be a lot less beating around the bush. It sounds like a clear attempt at fishing for an OTC offer.
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    Default Re: Put-off Lines

    Agreed.

    I will say though, that I've dealt with several confusing situations like that over the years. I vastly prefer that they keep it plain and simple and ITC, despite the OTC fun I've had from time to time.

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