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Thread: I have lost everything....

  1. #1
    Senior Member cayday19's Avatar
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    Default I have lost everything....

    Hello everyone, I know I havn't posted on Stripperweb in months, I just have to vent.

    Today was literally the worst day of my life.

    My boyfriend out of nowhere looked me in the eyes and told me he doesn't love me or care about me. He told me he doesn't care if I die or what happens to me. 2 hours earlier he was holding me telling me he loved me. I have no idea what happened or what caused it. No fight. No nothing. My heart has been completely ripped apart and gutted. I have never felt this type of pain before in my life. I have been cheated on, beaten, treated like dirt, and no pain compares to this.

    I treated this man like gold. I gave him EVERYTHING literally. I quit my job so he could get 2 better jobs to pay the bills and so I could start school. I lost my friends. I lost everything. I will soon lose my apartment cause I have no means of paying the bills. I've dealt with breakups before and I get over them and move on. But this is different. I really truly loved him. I am not a spiritual person what so ever but I honestly believed he was my soulmate. We would sit around and just talk about the future. I feel like a zombie just typing this. I've cried for hours, so much that I have rashes under my eyes from so many tears. I am so numb I just feel dead inside. I never thought a person could have this much of an impact on me until now. I just need someone to talk to. Anyone to give me some kind of support. I don't know what else to say...I can't..

  2. #2
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Im sorry you're dealing with this. Have you spoken to him? Why did he say that out of no where.. then say he loved the next moment? You need to talk to him and see what is going on.

    I have been with my bf for almost 3 years, and lived with him for 2... We got into many agruements such as those. I quit my job for him, I lost a few people, etc I lost my life due to him and just now I am trying to get back on track. It's difficult. I have been dealing with headaches and sleepless nights, lots of stress.. most I have ever been in. Im sorry I cannot provide you with anymore help.. You need to relax and figure out what YOU want to do, what you want to do for yourself to make yourself happy and start taking those steps. It will be hard for a few months.. but slowly you will move on and have a new life. Message me if you ever want to talk

  3. #3
    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    That's awful, girl. I wish I knew what to say to make it stop hurting, but it sounds like he really blindsided you with that. Do you have any girl friends or close family you can stay with for a few days that can help you take your mind off things?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Sorry you are in so much pain Cayday. Breaking up with someone you consider your soulmate is extremely painful and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change that. Of course, in extreme cases, some medication (short term only) might temporarily help.

    You will have stages to your grief - e.g., anger, sadness, blaming him, blaming yourself... its all a natural part of the grief process. You can find some books on this (grieving) and read about it, so you understand that it is normal and natural process, but most importantly - YOU WILL GET PAST IT, however impossible that may seem to you at this moment. You are young and very beautiful and your real soulmate is yet to come.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Sorry you are going through this, he sounds like a sociopath.

  6. #6
    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    This is going to sound really weird but you actually popped into my head yesterday. I dont even know why, I wasnt on stripper web at the time. I was wondering where you have been. I am sooo sorry you are going through this pain. *hugs*

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    This happened to me once. Brace yourself, be strong, its going to take some time.

  8. #8
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    So sorry you are going through this.

    I hate to say it, but he wasn't really your soulmate if he is capable of turning on you like that.

    The bad news is, it hurts like hell right now. The good news is, you are free of him, and it could have been worse if you spent more time with him and then he pulled this later. Right now it hurts, but later you will be very glad you are free.

    Free to look into your own heart and figure out what makes it happy, without relying on anyone else. Then in time you can find someone much better, if you want. If you are happy in your own heart it is easier to find the right person, and easier to deal with dumb stuff like people switching personalities on you, if you pick another one.

    I have never regretted the breakups, except the first one was really tough at first! Now I laugh at the idea I might have stayed with her. She is a good person (unlike this guy), but we were so NOT meant to stay together! And every time there has been a breakup it has been easier.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Can't you dance and keep your apartment? It would suck to mess up your credit.

    Be thankful that he didn't lead you on any longer. I know it hurts now, but just keep yourself busy and before you know it you won't remember what you ever saw in him

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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Sorry you are going through this, he sounds like a sociopath.
    I had a relationship with a sociopath. I wish I saw it earlier. His own mother even called him a sociopath to his face.

  12. #11
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    I hope she's ok, she hasn't been back since posting.

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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Maybe shes been busy with work

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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    She posted a pic last night.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

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    Sad Re: I have lost everything....

    Wow Babe Im so sorry to hear that, if you lived in Canada Id go pick you up and make a girls night! Like Djoser said its best for it to happen now then later.. The best thing you can do though, I promess, is keep your head up high and be strong..even if sometimes you have to pretend when youre around him, if he thinks you dont miss him and you're strong he'll second guess and be more upset by what he lost. Try and watch some funny videos, but mostly out with GFS will help... but.. you will need to cry... for a while you will probably cry your heart out, I cant say you wont... but when you feel better, you will feel better than you have in years <3

  16. #15
    Senior Member cayday19's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice. It definately still hurts a lot but I'm trying to think positive even though it seems impossible...

  17. #16
    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Oh honey! I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this! I can't really offer much advice, except to try to talk to people (the friends that you lost because of him - I'm guessing they didn't like him too much, so maybe they would be forgiving and help you out now that he is gone?) and just keep taking each day as it comes...the good thing about working in this industry is that if you can force yourself to work just one day, you should be able to make enough to support yourself until you are feeling decent enough to get back into it.

    Hugs - I really hope that things start to get better for you!
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    go back to dancing immediately if you can. Make some money, & kick his ass out of your house. What an asshole.

  19. #18
    Senior Member cayday19's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Everything just took a turn for the worst last night. He came over to my place highly intoxicated and pissed off. I have no idea what sparked it. He just kept calling me a whore and and cunt and screaming that I cheated on him. I have never done ANYTHING like that or even talked to another guy. He started punching things and punched a hole in my wall. He took a can of air freshener and sprayed it in my eyes. Then he started choking me and shoving me and I threatened to call the cops so he took my phone and smashed it. I then SCREAMED for my neighbors to call 911. This is the worst night ever. Seriously 3 nights ago I was madly in love. Now I am scared to even sleep at night.....

  20. #19
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Your safety is what matters most at this point. Find a place to stay where you will be safe or have friends stay with you. Very important you file charges against him for assault and the damages he did. Need to protect yourself or this could end very ugly.

  21. #20
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    What a freaking psycho, did you file a police report?

  22. #21
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    So sorry it got worse. Be safe. We are here for you.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  23. #22
    Senior Member cayday19's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Yes the neighbors called 911 and he went to jail for domestic violence but he has just been released on bail today

  24. #23
    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    ^^did you look into restraining orders in the meantime?

    Im so sorry that happened to you. this is scary shit. be safe.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


  25. #24
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    Quote Originally Posted by cayday19 View Post
    Yes the neighbors called 911 and he went to jail for domestic violence but he has just been released on bail today
    Do you have somewhere else to stay?

  26. #25
    Senior Member cayday19's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have lost everything....

    No I don't have anywhere else to stay...

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