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Thread: I dont know how dating works.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Lillionaire's Avatar
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    Default I dont know how dating works.

    There is a male friend of mine whom I have had a crush on for a few years now. He may or may not have a girlfriend right now, I'm not sure if they're still together exactly.

    Anyways his roommate (whom I have only met once) just called me and asked if I want to go out on Saturday with him, to some botanical gardens. I'm not doing anything on Saturday, so I said okay.

    I like trying new things and learning stuff, going to new places, and I feel like it could be good to meet another person in this new town.

    But... I've been scheming about dating my friend, not his roommate!

    Goddammit, now what? I feel like I should call and tell him I can't go... but I dont know how to say "why."

    Or should I just go?

    I seriously don't know how to handle this minor thing in life right now. I also have no girl friends to talk to.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Camateur's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont know how dating works.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lillionaire View Post
    There is a male friend of mine whom I have had a crush on for a few years now. He may or may not have a girlfriend right now, I'm not sure if they're still together exactly.

    Anyways his roommate (whom I have only met once) just called me and asked if I want to go out on Saturday with him, to some botanical gardens. I'm not doing anything on Saturday, so I said okay.

    I like trying new things and learning stuff, going to new places, and I feel like it could be good to meet another person in this new town.

    But... I've been scheming about dating my friend, not his roommate!

    Goddammit, now what? I feel like I should call and tell him I can't go... but I dont know how to say "why."

    Or should I just go?

    I seriously don't know how to handle this minor thing in life right now. I also have no girl friends to talk to.
    You should go; if the guy you like finds out and is jealous; tell him it was on a "friends level" and then ask "why do you care???"

  3. #3
    God/dess ManyRoses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont know how dating works.

    Hmmm...this is a hard one. I would go, but make it very very clear from the start that you do not have romantic intentions. Pay for your own entrance (if the gardens are not free), any lunch, coffee etc. If he questions it, explain that you are looking to make new friends in a new city, but not looking for anything else.

    Who knows- he may even let something slip about the relationship status of your crush...
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  4. #4
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I dont know how dating works.

    I would go, who knows, once you get to know his roomate, you might like him even better! Don't take chances on guys, he could be still with his gf, or not looking for a relationship because they just broke up, at least now you have someone to amuse you while heals guys don't have the same "code"that girls do, if you really still like the roomate and you find out he's single, you can always switch over

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    Default Re: I dont know how dating works.

    I agree with everyone and go. Who knows you might find you like him better.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I dont know how dating works.

    Why not call the guy you have a crush on and ask him what he thinks of you going out with his roommate? Pretend like you just want some background information on whether to date this guy or not.

    If the guy you have a crush on has any interest in you, he will be protective and try to find reasons for you not to date his roommate.

    Then, you can tell the guy you really like - "I guess you're right. I'm going to cancel my date with X, but I was so looking forward to the botanical gardens on Saturday." If the guy you have a crush on cannot figure out what to say next, he is brain dead.

    Another option is to be honest with the guy who asked you out. He will appreciate not being lead on and maybe help you hook up with the guy you really like.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
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    Default Re: I dont know how dating works.

    I hesitantly went out on a date with my crush's friend once. I never thought I'd get over him. The friend and I have been together for ~9 mos now and he's way less uptight then his friend/roomate (albeit not quite as shockingly gorgeous at first - now I think he's more attractive than the boy I liked first)

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