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Thread: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

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    Default Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Apologies if this has been asked before, which I'm sure it has

    I'm a pretty polite guy, if a girl I don't like asks me if I want a dance I'll politely but firmly and repeatedly decline, however on occasion it appears that they think I'll change my mind.

    I don't want to be impolite, and I can't say I'm gay or have no money as a) its lame and b) they're gonna see me getting dances from other girls later.

    So whats the best way to politely make it absolutely clear that I don't want a dance from them?

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    Veteran Member missplayful's Avatar
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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Best way just tell them u have another fave dancer and u are waitin for her. I have regulars they used to tell other girls they are out of money or maybe later. Those answers so annoyin for any dancer. Especially they will be pissed of when u go Vip with another girl. U can tell them u wanna dance with your fave.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    NO THANK YOU. How hard is that? Said in a curt tone with closed off body language and no direct eye contact. That should 100% indicate disinterest.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    There was a club I used to go to which had a dancer who had no business being in there. I guess her theory was she could just wear a customer down and they would eventually give in. After several firm but polite no thank yous didn't work I would just excuse myself to use the restroom and return to somewhere no where near her. She would then move on to her next victim.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    How hard is it to say "no thank you"? say it a few times if you want and then just say "no", they will get the hint, some don't, simply saying "No" should suffice

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    ^You've obviously never run into some of the dancers I have.

    Me: Smile, "No thank, you"
    Her: sits on my lap, "Aww come one"
    Me: "Thanks, but no, I'm waiting for someone"
    Her: "Oh come on, theyll find you later"
    Me: "I'm honestly not interested in a dance from you"
    Her: "Are you just gonna sit here all night?"
    Me: "I've been here less than 5 minutes!"
    Her: "Im getting a bouncer if you don't buy a dance!"
    Me: "What? Why? Fine go get him."

    I didn't see her again, and yeah that's an extreme case... but sometimes they are overly persistent and its hard to know how to get rid of them politely.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    If no doesnst work, being an asshole does.. or saying being a cheap perv, such as "Your face is a mess.. no thanks!" or "...Are you saying you'll do me for 20$?" Usually that will piss them off, unless she is a whore for 20$ lmao... If a firm no of 10x doesnt work, being an ass does.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by jester214 View Post
    ^You've obviously never run into some of the dancers I have..
    No kidding.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    "...Are you saying you'll do me for 20$?"
    With my luck she would have said "Sure!"

    The only problem with being an ass is she will tell all the other dancers how you were an ass to her but she will conveniently leave out why you had to be an ass to her. After that, no lady in the club will want to talk with you.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    ^ Thats not true. Most dancers I know take the suggestion, but always try for themself, its their money or hers anymore. They have nothing to loose to try and find out for themself.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Sometimes I'll just abruptly (but politely) excuse myself and either head to the restroom (which for me could backfire!), or I move to the other side of the club and re-seat myself. Unfortunately this can become a cat & mouse game, with you always trying to stay one step ahead of the pushy dancer. But I have met quite a few awesome dancers who noticed my ninja movements and asked to keep me company to keep the annoying girl away .

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    You could maybe say you are waiting for another dancer and no you don't need company while you wait.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    If they won't accept a polite no there's no way to avoid it. tell them to fuck off. I've seen pushy girls at my club make money by pissing off the customers, they won't take no for an answer they grab the customers arm or drink and physically try dragging them to the dance room or annoy the crap out of them until the guy gives in or pays them to go away. I really hate these girls, they fuck it up for us long term dancers, the guys leave early and don't come back or they are so pleased to get a nice girl they waste our time using us a shield against the pushy bitches.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    I understand being polite, but sometimes guys that think of themselves as considerate actually make things much worse for themselves. There are indeed some girls that just won't take a simple no, so you need to be tough and direct when it looks like a girl is going to be difficult to shake.

    When I don't want a dance, I look her in the eye and firmly say "No thank you" period. If a girl that I don't like asks if she can sit with me, I look her in the eye and say "I'm not really looking for company right now, but thank you."

    If she continues to persist, I say "honestly honey I'm looking for something a little different than you, but thank you." They tend to huff off a little if it gets to this point but too bad - she should have listened the first time.

    And in those rare instances when she is really persistent and is in my lap, or worse, grabbing my nuts, I usually say something like "Honey, you're not my type so please [get up, take your hand back/whatever]." Again the girl usually gets pissed but that was inevitable anyway if she was like that to begin with.

    I've had only one really bad one in all the years, where nothing I said seemed to penetrate. Finally, I put my face into hers, looked her in the eyes and said, "Are you fucking deaf or just stupid, I said go away!" That did it, though she left bitching like I just kicked her favorite dog.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Dancer: Want a dance?
    yoda: No thanks, I'm waiting for S******
    Dancer: OK, but you have to tip me.
    yoda: No I don't
    Dancer: You are sitting in the tipping are, you have to tip me.
    yoda: So when did the bar fifty feet from the stage become the tipping area?
    Dancer: This side is the tipping area, the other side ain't.
    yoda: Sweetie, we both know that's a crock of BS. Do you want to bring the manager over and I will ask him to clarify.
    Dancer: It's only a dollar! You're a fucking asshole! (she walks away)

    For the next four or five minutes, as she was working another guy, she yelled out to every dancer who approached me that "He's a fucking cheap asshole"

    I'm polite the first time and a bit more firm if they persist. I've never yelled at a dancer and I never will but I'm not above calmly telling them to leave me the fuck alone or I'll call the manager. I also won't mercy tip.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    I also try to be diplomatic but one time I was drunk and I said no to a dancer 3 times. She asked me a fourth time and the started saying insulting things including cheapskate, gay, etc. I yelled at her "Listen you fucking bitch I told you I don't want a dance so get lost'. She asked the bouncer to throw me out. At that point a couple dancers told the bouncer that they had seen the whole thing and she was indeed being a bitch. So they didn't kick me out and I got dances from some of the nice dancers. I usually just put up with it though.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    When I don't want a dance, I look her in the eye and firmly say "No thank you" period. If a girl that I don't like asks if she can sit with me, I look her in the eye and say "I'm not really looking for company right now, but thank you."

    If she continues to persist, I say "honestly honey I'm looking for something a little different than you, but thank you." They tend to huff off a little if it gets to this point but too bad - she should have listened the first time.

    And in those rare instances when she is really persistent and is in my lap, or worse, grabbing my nuts, I usually say something like "Honey, you're not my type so please [get up, take your hand back/whatever]." Again the girl usually gets pissed but that was inevitable anyway if she was like that to begin with.
    Thanks for your advice - which actually gave some advice rather than either assuming I am unable to say "No" or saying I should be horrible to the dancers when I made it clear that wasn't my intention.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by billh View Post
    There was a club I used to go to which had a dancer who had no business being in there. I guess her theory was she could just wear a customer down and they would eventually give in. After several firm but polite no thank yous didn't work I would just excuse myself to use the restroom and return to somewhere no where near her. She would then move on to her next victim.
    lol just curious how bad she was that she didnt belong there...was she hideously ugly, or did she have bad breath, or was she just not alluring or confident? just curious and looking for some humor. this should be a good one

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    ^ Thats not true. Most dancers I know take the suggestion, but always try for themself, its their money or hers anymore. They have nothing to loose to try and find out for themself.
    Not saying it is true EVERYTIME but I have seen it happen more than enough times to decide not to use that tactic.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by kthnx View Post
    lol just curious how bad she was that she didnt belong there...was she hideously ugly, or did she have bad breath, or was she just not alluring or confident? just curious and looking for some humor. this should be a good one
    I think the average person at the club would say her looks would justify the bolder statement alone. For me it was her whole attitude that was the bigger turn off. How unkept she would be was another turn off. I think when most people go out, the do atleast something to look nice, shower, comb/brush hair, where something decent. She would show up looking like she just rolled out of bed after a rough night of drinking and still wearing what she wore the night before.

    That was an odd club. You would see dancers at both end of the spectrum, from her to absolutely gorgeous.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    The hard one to avoid is the girl who sits right down next to me and just starts chatting. I cannot usually find it in me to say..."sorry, not interested" when there is a semi-naked woman, half my age talking to me.

    OTOH...I may be sitting there with limited funds, limited interest in her type, waiting for a fave....etc...and yet if she (eventually) gets to "Hey wanna buy a dance?" I then have to either be the guy who wasted her time....or pleads no funds....UGH.

    I usually end up being that guy who says gotta go...wish I could....and leaving.

    I hate being THAT guy.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by jbviper4 View Post
    The hard one to avoid is the girl who sits right down next to me and just starts chatting. I cannot usually find it in me to say..."sorry, not interested" when there is a semi-naked woman, half my age talking to me.

    OTOH...I may be sitting there with limited funds, limited interest in her type, waiting for a fave....etc...and yet if she (eventually) gets to "Hey wanna buy a dance?" I then have to either be the guy who wasted her time....or pleads no funds....UGH.

    I usually end up being that guy who says gotta go...wish I could....and leaving.

    I hate being THAT guy.
    You can get what you want by telling her exactly how you feel, if you know you don't want to get dances you can say to her "Sorry, i don't want to waste your time, i won't be getting any dances from you" lets her know without wasting her time trying to chat you up, most of the time if i say that some will say they just wanted to sit and relax for a bit
    pretty much tells her and isn't really rude

    or you could simply say you don't want any company, waiting for another dancer.. etc etc. its up to you, you don't need to keep quiet, tell her

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Yeah, I do that sometimes. There are also times when I eally do enjoy the chat, and if I am too tapped, tired or not into her, I will tip for the time anyways (usu $5-`10)...is it cool to do this instead of buying an (overpriced watered down) drink?

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    I also won't mercy tip.
    AMEN!

    Mercy tipping only encourages the dancers that shouldn't be there in the first place to continue their overtly mercenary behavior.

    Friends don't let friends mercy tip.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Saying no politely to pushy dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by billh View Post
    With my luck she would have said "Sure!"

    The only problem with being an ass is she will tell all the other dancers how you were an ass to her but she will conveniently leave out why you had to be an ass to her. After that, no lady in the club will want to talk with you.
    Other dancers don't listen to the ugly hot mess pushy dancers anyway. We know who they are because they try this bs w every potential victim.

    The best thing you can do is get her away from your table. Because if she sits w you, she has staked her claim, and other girls won't approach for fear of dressing room retaliation.

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