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Thread: Such a thing as TOO much family time?

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    Veteran Member Jenn1981's Avatar
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    Default Such a thing as TOO much family time?

    The basics: im 29, work full time(part time dance but slackin off due to burnout lately). Boyfriend and me have been together for almost a yr. Going to be moving in together in summer.
    Anyways, moved back home in january cause my lease was up and I hated my place. My boyfriend has a room-mate and his lease is up in june which is when we are moving in together. Im basically there most of my time anyways.
    But, and its always been this wa.. my FAMILY drives me crazy sometimes.
    It seemingly looks perfect, but scratch that surface and....
    Brother is mid 30s, married 2 children, successful.
    Sister mid 30s, married, 2 children, very successful(even has the white picket fence).
    Well I have no children, never been married. No desire to have children and my boyfriend feels same way.
    My sister and brother ALWAYS ask me to watch the kids. I mean its getting to the point of ridiculousness. I do try to help when I can and I feel selfish if I dont. The past few weekends Ive had ONE night to myself and I went to a concert and next weekend Im seeing Lady Gaga(cant wait) I just feel like every weekend they want/need a sitter. My mom watches the kids alot and sometimes they get sitters. But my nephew is 6 and the youngest is 2. So its been 6 yrs now that me and my mom have been asked to watch the kids and frankly, im burnt out from that. I love them to pieces but as ive said, i have no desire to have kids and Im just not into kids.
    Now that Im back at home i feel like i see my whole family ALL the time.
    My sister is there once/twice a week with her kids. My brother likes to come over alot too. No conversations ever happen anymore. its ALL kid related. And I guess if I had kids i would understand but i cant tell you how left out I feel when the whole family sits around and bitches or boasts about this one or that one.
    When I miss family events, I get the guilt routine from my mom.
    As i said I stay at my boyfriends ALOT and my mom seems to get attitude cause i dont call home enough(brother/sister call her like everyday). And thats fine that they do but I dont need THAT much contact.
    As ive said I love my family but they can be quite stifling at times.
    I guess theres no real advice Im seeking, this is more of a bitch thread.
    Now im off to a family party for my brother in law. Grrr..

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Such a thing as TOO much family time?

    Well, talking about kids, particularly at family get togethers, is only natural. After all, parents that work and have kids really don't have time for much else, so they really don't have anything else to talk about anyway. That is just the reality of it, and I am sure it does not help that your mother wants to hear all about it because, after all, she is grandma.

    It is funny - at a recent family get together my single childless brother - in his 30s himself - asked me about whether I saw the new release of some video game system and if I tried some of the sports and other games. Really??? Between work and kids I barely have time to sleep most days. I couldn't even tell you what is good at the movies anymore, never mind being able to burn hours a week on video games.

    Having said that, it is not fair for them to expect you to provide child care. Once in a while is ok, but on a regular basis it is not. Just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you have to shoulder more of your siblings' burdens - it is their responsbility to care for their kids, not yours.

    But IMHO family get togethers are important for everyone. The kids need to see their aunts and uncles. Also, if you are not going to have your own children you may want to foster good relationships with your nieces and nephews. After all, when you are wearing depends and are losing your faculties, who else is going to be looking out for your best interests if you are estranged from your nieces and nephews?

    Anyway, just my and good luck!

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