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Thread: my mother found out!!!!

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    Newbie sammimaybelle's Avatar
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    Default my mother found out!!!!

    so i got an interesting phone call yesterday...my mom had called and started off telling me happy valentines day, and then said she had a weird question for me...was i or had i ever been an exotic dancer?

    to make a long story short, there is some class-action law suit against a club or a person or who knows but a letter was sent to my home address (why did i put that down ?!?) and she decided to read mail with MY name on it...bc she was suspicious of the company name or something. anyways, i have lived abroad a lot and have always been vague about my employment and thought maybe i had just done it abroad but then i just thought you know what fuck it i'll just come clean....i mean its my life. right.......?

    WELP, she is needless to say very upset....this is all turning around to how she was a bad parent, how i am doing the most vile, awful thing possible, even telling me everytime she closes her eyes she sees awful things and cannot sleep now! WTF. and here's the kicker, she is now telling me that i MUST tell my father face to face via skype and that the heart broken trifecta of mother, father, and holy ghost will then be complete. she wants my dad to know bc she is convinced i will be stalked/raped/drugged and end up dead in a morgue and she will have to come to id my body. and if found out THEN that she knew then he would never live with her for letting me send myself on the "downward spiral."

    dramatic much??

    i am trying to be calm but now the things she is saying are pissing me off. what if i came out of the closet?? i come form a conservative place but my parents have always been the beacon of understanding...they wouldn't care if i was gay. but no god forbid an "exotic dancer"... if it wasn't my own personal life i would find her reaction really humorous...but it is my life and i need some help! what do i say, what do i do?
    Last edited by sammimaybelle; 09-03-2011 at 07:21 PM.

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    Featured Member luscious sadie's Avatar
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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    Tell them that you're not ashamed of who you are and that ps, you're also gay

    My family is really dramatic and my mom has decided that instead of just ignoring my job she is going to bring it up all the time. I just don't deal with her anymore. Our job is stressful as is and we don't need family to guilt us ontop of that. If they're not giving you money or doing anything else to support you (meaning that you can live / do live without their involvement) then just move on.
    You don't get to pick your family but you do get to choose how you let them treat you. You don't have to have them in your life if you don't want to - regardless of what anyone says. What do they give you? Stress and a headache? Would you deal with them if they WEREN'T family? Why does blood relation suddenly mean that we have to deal with abusive, mean and manipulative people?

    If they care about you, a family will accept you back later. In the meantime, focus on yourself and make your money. You're only responsible for yourself. Do what's in your own best interests.

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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    Congrats, you don't have to deal w/the stres of hiding it from your mom anymore

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    Newbie monicablows's Avatar
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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    Mothers react like that all the time. I remember when my mother found out, well my whole family found out at the same time. We only talked about it that one day then everybody let me be.

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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by sammimaybelle View Post
    so i got an interesting phone call yesterday...my mom had called and started off telling me happy valentines day, and then said she had a weird question for me...was i or had i ever been an exotic dancer?

    to make a long story short, there is some class-action law suit against a club or a person or who knows but a letter was sent to my home address (why did i put that down ?!?) and she decided to read mail with MY name on it...bc she was suspicious of the company name or something. anyways, i have lived abroad a lot and have always been vague about my employment and thought maybe i had just done it abroad but then i just thought you know what fuck it i'll just come clean....i mean i'm 26 years old, its my life. right.......?
    OH WOW! I got the same friggin' letter.... same scenario... my mom opened it and well... proceded to freak!

    She knew I was dancing but she thought I was in trouble. Fuck this legal-eagle that outed probably dozens if not hundreds more dancers.

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    My mom knew from the get go. She just complains that for every Diablo Cody there are 100 Anna Nicole Smiths. Before I got with my SO she merely pointed out that I should use stripping as a stepping stone to meeting wealthy men.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by luscious sadie View Post
    Tell them that you're not ashamed of who you are and that ps, you're also gay

    My family is really dramatic and my mom has decided that instead of just ignoring my job she is going to bring it up all the time. I just don't deal with her anymore. Our job is stressful as is and we don't need family to guilt us ontop of that. If they're not giving you money or doing anything else to support you (meaning that you can live / do live without their involvement) then just move on.
    You don't get to pick your family but you do get to choose how you let them treat you. You don't have to have them in your life if you don't want to - regardless of what anyone says. What do they give you? Stress and a headache? Would you deal with them if they WEREN'T family? Why does blood relation suddenly mean that we have to deal with abusive, mean and manipulative people?

    If they care about you, a family will accept you back later. In the meantime, focus on yourself and make your money. You're only responsible for yourself. Do what's in your own best interests.
    ^This.

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    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    Omg, I'm sorry, my family recently found out too, I know how not fun that is...my mom's reaction was similar to yours...my dad's was a million times worse (she told him before I could stop her). I would really really really trying to reason with her and convincing her that your dad is better off not knowing (which he probably is imo). One thing: be ready for this happening to throw off your opinion about your job temporarily. I don't think it matters how old you are, your parents are always your parents and they can really fuck with your head sometimes. I really wish you luck dealing with this, keep us updated on how everything goes!

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    Veteran Member Aslinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    Lucky my mom stopped talkin to me

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    Newbie sammimaybelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    thanks ladies.....so far, the situation hasn't been pretty or gotten any better. now she is involving my friends in the middle, just making it into a big deal. and i am making it no better by brooding and getting more angry about the fact that she opened my mail and stuck her nose in my business! right now i am just kinda in a daze. feel like i prob won't talk to her for a long time .... which is sad bc my mom and i are i "close" but i have always edited out the parts of my life i knew she wouldn't like....but i guess now i will not have to pretend any longer to be the person she thinks...hopefully a positive in the long run.
    Last edited by sammimaybelle; 09-03-2011 at 07:21 PM.

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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    It's probably the deja vu class action suit...
    Sorry to hear this. You're an adult now, and you don't HAVE to tell anyone anything face to face if you don't want to. This is your life and your business, and you hadn't told them up until this point cause you knew they'd react this way. If it helps any, they usually come around and get over it

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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    welp that sucks my mom wouldnt care if i did my my father on the other hand flipped when i told him i was going to dance now thats the card he uses on me when he gets upset
    i really dont know what to tell you

    either way i think your mom would tell him
    hey you only live once whats life if your not living it the way you want to

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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    My parents found out I had been seeing a psychiatrist when CVS sent a mailer to get my meds refilled so I def understand how you feel. It was a new policy they had started.

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    Default Re: my mother found out!!!!

    From the sounds of it, Tempest had a cool mamma

    Before I started dancing, whenever my mom and I would drive past a strip club together, she would comment "If I was younger, I would be up there taking my clothes off making big money!"

    And I would laugh and say "Oh my G-d" or "Your crazy", in a loving manner.

    She must have said this around me at least 20 times. She has always been foward thinking when it comes to these sort of things.

    Also, before I was a dancer, I told my mom that I was thinking of applying for a waitressing job at hooters. She got mad, and said "If you are going to make money using your looks, don't work at hooters, pose for Play Boy!"(she was serious) and then "Its like being a nurse over a doctor. I would have never been a nurse in a hospital, I would have gone all the way and been the doctor".


    HAHA!

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