Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: picking up and leaving

  1. #1
    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Location
    reno nv
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default picking up and leaving

    so heres the deal, im 19 and im living at home. i feel like the total black sheep in the family and that reno is not for me anymore. i have bad influences here and get in bad relationships. all i do is strip on the weekends now and party. i just ended it with my on and off ex boyfriend. im not going to college or anything...i was for a semester but it got too expensive. my mom wont sign the financial aid stuff for a career college or beauty school (im not complaining, i know i have it better than a lot of people my age). i want to just save more money and pack up and move and start fresh....maybe san fran or something. my cars title is in my moms name so i probably couldnt take my car . maybe i just need to find someone with the same crazy idea as me.....has anyone ever just packed up and left at a young age? how did it work out for you?

    i just want to move to a new city and meet new people and figure shit out....maybe even meet the guy of my dreams!! im just to wild to stay in reno anymore and keep doing the same dam thing.

    i need advice!!! i'd prefer spontaneous people to answer....
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

  2. #2
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    992
    Thanks
    1,356
    Thanked 430 Times in 253 Posts

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    I have done it and it can be very lonely at first. When I first moved at the age of 17 to a new city, it was culture shock. I was broke and waitressed for a few years. I was so broke I never even had the time/money to look into getting student loans. I didn't know what the local colleges were even named to begin looking them up.

    As a dancer, it would have been a lot easier. I suggest researching possible cities because some you may love and others may not be your cup of tea.

  3. #3
    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Location
    reno nv
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    did u have a car???
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

  4. #4
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    31
    Thanks
    14
    Thanked 15 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    You're old enough to rent a uhaul, and if you moved to Sf as you planned, you wouldn't need a car. A lot of people get around Sf without a car

  5. #5
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    If you're going to pull up stakes entirely, I'd recommend researching a move out of the country ! That way, you'll potentially find much better job opportunities and much less oppressive tax rates !

  6. #6
    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Location
    reno nv
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    yea...ur right. i dont even have a passport. well mines expired. i would have to save a lot of money. if anything i would want to move to new zealand
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

  7. #7
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    SW Counter Troll HQ
    Posts
    5,582
    Thanks
    1,589
    Thanked 1,674 Times in 1,043 Posts
    Blog Entries
    13
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    Do you really want to change or do you just want a new place to party?

    The problems don't stem from your location but, from your own decisions.

    It's not nice, but it is what you need to hear.

  8. #8
    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Location
    reno nv
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    NOT a new place to party. PERIOD.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

  9. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,968
    Thanks
    798
    Thanked 1,121 Times in 605 Posts

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    Why won't your mom sign financial aid paperwork? It benefits you, and its additional tax credit for her if you're claimed as a dependant? WTF? That's really selfish of her? I'd just forge the papers, get into school in another city, use student loans/grants...they often pay enough for some expenses outside of tuition..supplement the rest w dancing or some other type of work.

  10. #10
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    Quote Originally Posted by jules477 View Post
    so heres the deal, im 19 and im living at home. i feel like the total black sheep in the family and that reno is not for me anymore. i have bad influences here and get in bad relationships. all i do is strip on the weekends now and party. i just ended it with my on and off ex boyfriend. im not going to college or anything...i was for a semester but it got too expensive. my mom wont sign the financial aid stuff for a career college or beauty school (im not complaining, i know i have it better than a lot of people my age). i want to just save more money and pack up and move and start fresh....maybe san fran or something. my cars title is in my moms name so i probably couldnt take my car . maybe i just need to find someone with the same crazy idea as me.....has anyone ever just packed up and left at a young age? how did it work out for you?

    i just want to move to a new city and meet new people and figure shit out....maybe even meet the guy of my dreams!! im just to wild to stay in reno anymore and keep doing the same dam thing.

    i need advice!!! i'd prefer spontaneous people to answer....
    I think you should break this down step by step.

    • You should make a small move first to get your own apartment. You're lucky to be in a town with reasonable rents! So that's a good start.
    • Next, save money. You'll need an emergency fund because no matter where you move you will need to keep the rent paid if and when you get sick or go for a while between jobs. I'm assuming you can't count on your parents to bail you out when the usual unexpected expenses happen.
    • Next start talking to lots of people about EVERYTHING! Career ideas, great places to live, and just making more friends and mentors (more experienced helpful people).


    • Finally, start judging yourself on how many days a week or month you feel comfortable partying. If you feel it's too much then cut back. If you feel that partying is filling an emotional hole in your life ask yourself what's missing. It could be boredom, emotional issues, loneliness, etc. Whatever the need is, it can be filled directly instead of indirectly through partying.

    What ever you decided I would NOT move without emergency money of at least 6 months living expenses and a few visits to the city I chose. Get your budget in order and be sure to be realistic about all the expenses not just rent. Good Luck!!
    BTW I moved out at 19 and had to move back, then moved again for three years before having to move back AGAIN for 9 months. It's not always a smooth process so avoid the urge to tell your mom or boss to shove it up their ass because you're leaving for the BIGTIME!!! Not a good look.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  11. #11
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Great White North
    Posts
    3,605
    Thanks
    2,475
    Thanked 2,620 Times in 1,383 Posts
    My Mood
    Chatty

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    You want a spontaneous answer? Fine. I say go big or go home.

    Last April 21st - with $700 in my pocket - I packed up 2 suitcases and hoped on a flight to a city I had never been to before. I left my school, apartment, boyfriend and all securities. I sold my Furniture and Van on Craigslist about a week before I left so that's where that $700 came from.

    I landed with only a vague idea of where I was going or what I was going to do. I knew I wanted to go back to dancing (I had previously, but not in the last year), and I forked over $400 for the license. Making that risky and lonely move was one of the best things I had ever done for myself. I was 21 at the time.

    Some things I would recommend if you're planning on making a big spontaneous move:

    - Don't be completely spontaneous. Know what you want to do when you get there. You have to work to make money; do you plan on continuing to dance? If so look up the cities you're interested in here on stripper web and see if making a living is even possible. Some places are really bad money wise for dancing right now.

    -Go to a city where you won't need a car. Public transportation is more convienet and less espensieve when you're first getting used to an area.

    -Keep things temporary at first. Try to find cheap, weekly accomidations; either in dancer housing, a inexpensive motel/hostel. Try the temporary accommodation sections on craigslist. If you like where you're living after a couple months and decide to stay in the city you can buy a car, sign a lease, join a gym, but don't jump the gun incase you don't want to stay.

    -Have a back up plan if you're easily stressed out. I didn't have one, but most people can't deal with the pressure of not knowing where you're sleeping the next nights.

    -Be smart and don't put yourself in dangerous situations. Trust your gut.

    -Save as much money as you can at first. Build up your savings until you have $1000 emergency fund - if you're dancing somewhere good it should only take a couple nights; keep adding to your savings little by little. I got sick a LOT right after I moved because I was getting used to the surroundings and my body wasn't used to it. Savings saved my ass a few times - I had no one to borrow money from or help me out, so I would have been on the streets if not for that.

    It's high stress to go somewhere new with no friends/family/support, but it's also a lot of fun and can teach you how strong of a person you really are. I've defiantly learned a few things about myself that I never knew, and have a whole new work-ethic and independance I've never felt before. Plus I LOVE LOVE LOVE the City I've moved to. It's a amazing and young and full of life.

    I needed the fresh start and I'm glad I took it. If you really want to go through with this then I say jump on in, you'll probably come out better for it.

  12. #12
    Senior Member jules477's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2010
    Location
    reno nv
    Posts
    137
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    wow all of this was very helpful advice. i think i still have a bit more saving to do
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]jules

  13. #13
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Everywhere
    Posts
    340
    Thanks
    102
    Thanked 179 Times in 106 Posts

    Default Re: picking up and leaving

    Oh and it's hard work - persistence and consistence. Be prepared to be responsible as hell. Once the ball gets rolling it never stops, even when you want it to and even if you want to chill. That taught me something, but I began to feel good about taking care of myself. And it gets lonely at the top ... or bottom.


    My move was to keep my mom from losing her mind dealing with me. I love her and she loves me, but we drove each other crazy. She respected my decision, as I did this move out of respect and to do my own thing. I had at least $1800 to spend. I went back to the state I attended for college. I didn't have income until about 3 weeks after I moved whilst paying $200 a week in weekly stays. I worked until my income looked stable on paper and got an apartment. After that, keep working and build on what you have.

Similar Threads

  1. Picking a Gym
    By Harlequin_Phoenix in forum Body Business
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-24-2010, 12:48 AM
  2. Picking new name, which one?
    By BarbieDancer88 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-08-2010, 04:59 PM
  3. I need help picking a new name!
    By lexi2008 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 12-20-2008, 11:25 PM
  4. Picking an airline
    By TigersMilk in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 07-26-2008, 02:42 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •