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Thread: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

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    Default Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    Whenever I go up to a customer, I make some small talk (ask how their day is going and if they're just getting off work/having lunch/whatever makes sense based on the time of day) and then ask if they'd like some company. I like this method because if someone isn't interested in me/getting dances, they tend to just say no and I can move on and not waste my time.

    But lately I've been wondering if maybe it's a better idea to just sit down and start chatting. I see other girls do this all the time - they just plop down next to a guy whose just said he doesn't want company because he just got there/is leaving soon/just wants a drink/whatever, chit chat for a few songs, and then take him for dances. I realize that I could just not be their type, but I'm wondering if maybe it's worth just sitting down and not giving them such an easy out?

    I'm going to try just sitting down next to customers on my next shift and seeing how it goes, but what do you ladies do? Which method tends to work better for you?

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    At my club dances are only 10. I usually have a no dance no sit policy. I ask the custy while i am still standing if he wants a dance on the next song. If he says yes, i sit. BUT, if I am feeling the potential and the connection, I just go ahead and sit.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    The culture at my club is very much sit and chat before asking for a dance, so if I just went around making small talk and then asking for a dance, I don't think I'd make much money. I tend to sit around for 2-3 songs before asking, but some girls sit for 30 minutes + until the guy asked THEM for a dance, so customers kind of expect you to talk with them for a while before they get dances. I wish I could do what you do and still do well!

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    We're not allowed to sit on laps on the floor, but I always pull the chair close to them so we're more next to each other, rather than sitting across a little table. I feel you on feeling too aggressive when doing that though. I know if I were a customer, I'd prefer to be asked if I want company, so I'm having a hard time getting rid of that mindset.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    I always plonk myself down. It does get annoying in the groups when I sit next to one guy and he sends me over to his friend instead, but it usually works fine.
    Even sitting at the bar I've picked up a stool, carried it to the other end and plonked it next to a customer for me to sit on.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    My club is very much sit and talk as well. My technique is to approach the guy from the front (even if I have to maneuver around the room to do so) smile, catch his eye and walk right up to him. I will then be like, "Hi there! Isee you're by yourself and I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself." I then sit down and just start talking. Ask him where he's from etc... basic get to know you questions. You can tell within the first minute if he's comfortable or not. If tings go smoothly and we have a connection then I will stay a few songs and close the deal. However, if it's obvious he's not feeling me then I just go back to my opener and say something like, "Ok, well I just wanted to come over, say hello and introduce myself. I will be back in a bit to check up on you" Smile and wink and walk away...

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    i usually say "mind if i join you?" that way ifi am totally not their type then my time is not wasted, they feel some pressure to buy a dance if i do join them, and i am not cutthroating other girls if the customer is waiting for them.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    ^I always try and approach from the front so I don't catch them by surprise coming up from the side/behind. Plus I can get a general idea of their interest that way, like if they're glancing away and avoiding my face, checking their phone, smiling, checking me out, etc.

    I do like the "Mind if I join you?" line, seems a bit less formal than asking they want some company!

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    I always ask if I can join them. I go up to them, say "Hi, hows your night, can I sit with you?" If they seem interested and say yes, then I grab a chair near by and chat to them and then ask for dances. If they say no, then ofc I walk away. I think its rude to just sit down with customers without asking. I only do this, if the customer goes up to me. But this is in a club thats more laid back, where I ask customers if I can sit.

    When the club gets busier, at night or the club itself is a more stressful place then I dont ask to sit down with customers. Usually cause any girl will grab any guy, so it seems to work in a busier club better than a laid back one.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    I go ahead and sit right down! Why give a customer the chance to say "No"?

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    I rarely sit with customers unless it's a regular... because of this... when I do sit with one... I sit without asking because I know they want me there.

    In the rare a situation where I'm trying to sit with a stranger... I ask if they wanted company first.
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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi_Girl View Post
    I always try to ask for a dance, even if they don't seem interested in me, because sometimes I've been surprised.
    Agreed! If a conversation isn't going so smoothly, I usually just kill it by asking for a dance. There have definitely been instances where the guy goes for it, and some cases where they go for a nice long string of dances! You just never know, and just because the conversation isn't going well, doesn't mean they're not into you. They could just be a bad conversationalist/nervous/eager to get dancing and don't really care to chat.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    Most of the time I do ask.. However I can usually tell if someone is going to say no. So I save myself the rejection and just move on..

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    I must be backwards or just impatient cuz if they are not already tipping me extra & asking me for dances or to buy me a drink there is just no time I spend sitting with them ever unless it's a regular of mine that I know is there to spend money on me & even then I have them trained to wait on me while I'm making my money off others or buy me drinks & make it worth my time till they are ready.

    Custies that are cheap or not interested acting looking for convo or the gf experience or to be babysat & talked into dances just annoy me they can sit & kill some other dancers time that will pretend she cares to listen & sit like as if they are on a date.

    I like custies that know the deal & come in to spend on the dancer they like & want to impress. Give me the group of guys that want to compete with each other or the one wanting to play sugar daddy at the club that can back it. Make it rain when I'm on stage or simply pass me some fast cash showing me you can afford my attention or I'm on to the next.

    I know when I go clubbing & getting dances, spending money w/ my custies or friends at other clubs we don't play & we know how to tip for what catches our attention. However my pet peeve is those girls that come & sit thinking we then got to spend on her. Really yes we will tip any dancer for her dance, but if we didn't ask for her attention chances are she'll sit there while we get dances from other girls who we want dances with & if she doesn't get the hint then sometimes you have to say something like I'm off to the bathroom & walk away. I remember 1 dancer came to sit w/ my friends & we just couldn't lose her so we started cracking Britney jokes about her
    & still she thought since we tipped every1 nice & had money to spend it meant she would get a dance. Yes after an hr and many other dancers getting dances 1 guy in our group gave her the pity dance, but he complained it was so horrible after that he wanted his money back.

    I'm not saying this to be mean or that it would apply to any other dancer, but custies that say no they aren't interested in company are not the best target group & if you are not giving them a chance to say no by not asking or somehow qualifying their interest you might come off as a pushy sales person offering something they are not interested in.

    Then again there are those that might be good at changing their minds thur convo or waiting till they are drunk enough to con into anything, but I don't recommend wasting time on custies be4 they start spending money on you unless you have the patience & convincing skills for it. I don't I'm talented at going to sleep in the back & avoiding them all till they decide to get serious & start giving me what I want on my terms fast & ez thankyou now go home jerk off & come again when you have more money for me. Not put in those words, but they get what I'm there for.
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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    I wish my club was busy enough to be able to take your approach, but when it's quiet and there are more girls than dancers, and stage tipping isn't the norm here, we unfortunately can't really afford to ignore customers who don't tip on stage or hand you a wad of cash right away. It's just not how it's done at my club/even in my area.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    I ALWAYS ask "would you like some company?" because I don't want to annoy the guy. whenever a guy says "yes" he almost always buys a dance. I don't spend more than 3 songs talking to a guy anyway.

    I find that you get more dances when you weed out the time wasters.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    ^This is very true and that's why I've been using that approach for so long. But when it's quiet and there's maybe 2-5 customers who say no when I ask if they want company, I can't help but wonder if I would have had some success had I just sat down instead, yanno? Maybe I'll adopt the just sit approach during quieter times, but when it's busy enough that I can keep moving, I'll keep asking.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    I find that sitting across from them (close) is more effective than sitting on their lap or on the arm of their chair, so that they can look at me, men are visual.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    ^This is very true and that's why I've been using that approach for so long. But when it's quiet and there's maybe 2-5 customers who say no when I ask if they want company, I can't help but wonder if I would have had some success had I just sat down instead, yanno? Maybe I'll adopt the just sit approach during quieter times, but when it's busy enough that I can keep moving, I'll keep asking.
    yeah that's true. you definitely have to tweak your hustle if there are fewer guys. if there are only 5 guys in the club and they all say "no" when you ask if you can sit with them, well you're shit outta luck! if I just sit with a guy without asking though I watch out carefully for time-waster signals. if he seems uninterested (looking away, checking his phone, watching tv) or if he acts TOO interested (trying to grab me and cop a feel, talking a LOT and forcing me to sit and listen to him forever and get as much for free as possible) I ask for a dance asap and move on. it sucks when there's 5 guys and they're all time-wasters but sometimes it happens

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    Quote Originally Posted by shanna dior View Post
    I wish my club was busy enough to be able to take your approach, but when it's quiet and there are more girls than dancers, and stage tipping isn't the norm here, we unfortunately can't really afford to ignore customers who don't tip on stage or hand you a wad of cash right away. It's just not how it's done at my club/even in my area.
    My club is not bz at all -- my regulars are selected so that those few make my night cuz time wasters & dollar bill tippers those that buy a dance after twisting their arm kind of cheapos never add up to being worth my time. Know the guy who will spend his check on you & come back next paycheck or regularly 4 get customers who play hard to get with their wallet. That is my policy.
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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    First of all, you have to think about it from their perspective. I'll give you an example.

    One night when I lived in Las Vegas, I went out with two of my girl friends to my favourite bar. I had just gotten my drink in my hand and was about to grab a table when a guy started yelling at me.

    "Hey blondie! Come sit with me beautiful!"

    I told him no, I had just gotten my drink and wanted to sit and talk to my girls for a minute, but I'd catch up with him. He was so persistent he pulled his own chair up to my table and forced his way into the conversation, even after I had told him half a dozen times with increasing levels of irritation that I wanted to have my drink and catch up with my girls FIRST. I ended up leaving the bar.

    A dancer who "plops" down even after the man has said he isn't ready or interested is doing the same thing to the customer as that man did to me in Las Vegas. So try and keep that in mind while I explain further.

    What used to work for me were several approaches:

    a) Paying close attention to who is watching you onstage. I learned this late, after I stopped drinking at work. Even if the stage is far away, you can look them in their eyes and make them come up to the stage to tip you. When they come up, say "Thanks so much sweetheart. Would you like me to come visit you when I'm done up here? I've only got another [3-5] minutes, then I'm all yours!" Giving them the small time frame makes it seem like less of a wait until they can have your attention, thus making them more apt to tell any other girls they are waiting for you. After stage, thank him first, saying "I have to go say thanks to all these nice people for tipping me real quick. Hold my seat for me, would you?" That claims your seat, the guy can see you're a nice person, and it's a good way to knock down any preconceived notions or walls they may have. It also humanizes you for them which cuts down on the gross factor.

    b) I always approached targets who were not from the stage in this manner. Come up from the side with the open chair, put a hand on his shoulder and gently squeeze. When he turns around, smile warmly and say something along the lines of "Hey there! Would you mind if I sat down with you for a bit?" while touching the open chair. They very rarely will say no.

    c) Make them laugh! I never had a guy say no to me when I came up grinning and was all "Hey there cupcake! I need some entertainment! You look like a fun guy- mind if I hang out with you for a bit?" It's refreshing to them to meet someone who has the appearance of being genuine versus the fake sexy act, at least that's what I was always told.

    Additional bits of info:

    Always sit across from them with your knees touching theirs. If they protested, I always said "I prefer to sit here, because then I can actually see your face!" and then I'd smile and do a silly "hi" wave. You actually have more control from this position and can utilise neat body language tricks.

    If a guy says no, be graceful and don't force him. I always pointed to their drink and said "Ahh. Drink number one?", and when they nodded ( which was 9/10ths of the time ) I'd say "I totally understand. Well I'm Violet, and if you need anything, give me a shout. I'll come back later, ok?"

    In light of that, ALWAYS GO BACK. If a guy says in 15 minutes, go back in 15 minutes. If you say you'll be back, keep your promise. It's paid off for me a number of times.

    Finally, something I hated doing, but always did anyway because it paid itself forward a hundred times: ask them if they have their eye on someone. It sounds counter intuitive but it isn't. If you ask, and the guy is all "Yes actually, I'm waiting for Rainbow", ask if you can go get Rainbow for him. Not only does it improve your rapport with him, but oftentimes Rainbow will sell dances for YOU in the future.

    Sorry so long, and if a lot of this is common sense, but when it comes to approach, I feel there is more to it than simply "plop" down versus asking to sit.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    mediocrity, thank you thank you thank you for your post! I have a hard time doing things that would make me feel uncomfortable if I were on the receiving end (ie. just plopping down next to a customer) but the way you explained it makes me feel less like I'm losing out on sales. That and the rest of your info is just invaluable and I'm excited to bust out your tips on my next shift.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    seriously! I don't know how girls can be so rude to customers. I'm like damn how would you feel if someone did that to you! I hate seeing girls throw themselves all over customers who clearly have no interest in them. how do YOU feel when you get hit on by some asshole at a bar, or you're at a club dancing with your friends and someone just comes up behind you and starts grinding on your ass? or when a girl grabs a guy's wallet at the club?

    I wish strippers were classier :\ even the "upscale" clubs have girls that just don't know how to act like a lady.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    i just sit on the chair next to the guy (never on his lap) if the guy looks happy to see me, relieved that finally a dancer is giving him attention, or has a huge smile on his face when i greet him, ie, any other obvious indicators of interest....etc....i guess just general friendliness. i will only sit on his lap, after asking of course and him saying yes, if there are absolutely no other chairs, and if my feet hurt real bad from squatting on the floor next to his chair.

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    Default Re: Sitting down vs. asking to sit

    i say just sit, make a little bit of eye contact as you approach, then say something like you look bored over here all by yourself. if its a group of guys be like so boys... anything good tonight. a old manager once told me that the customers aren't gonna come up to you. its your job to get there attention so that what i do. go after them. black, hispanic, white guys that seem like they like sistahs i walk harder when i pass them (more hip action) other men i use boob action. a little bit of bounce is a good thing.

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