As a lot of you read on the board, I lost my boyfriend to cancer last week (thanks again to everyone who expressed the sympathies, I really appreciate it). Up until now, he was my main motivation: make money to be able to afford flying back and forth to be with him. Now...well, now that's not neccessary anymore, but I still have rent due in a couple of weeks, need to pay some uni fees, need money to live, et cetera. Sadly the world didn't decide to stop and acknowledge my pain and all the mundane stuff are still as they were. Sure, I could lay in my bed and play dead for the next couple of months, but...he'd hate that. He wanted me to have an amazing life and it'd be a huge disappointment to him if I ruined my life because of sadness.
I need motivation and encouragement BAD. I think part of me is really afraid that it will trigger something in me since I spent a whole lot time with him on webcam, chatting, getting naked and cooking...whatever.
How do I get myself back to work, ladies? How do I get dressed up and play sexy and flirt and smile? It's beyond my comprehension! Help!



). Up until now, he was my main motivation: make money to be able to afford flying back and forth to be with him. Now...well, now that's not neccessary anymore, but I still have rent due in a couple of weeks, need to pay some uni fees, need money to live, et cetera. Sadly the world didn't decide to stop and acknowledge my pain and all the mundane stuff are still as they were. Sure, I could lay in my bed and play dead for the next couple of months, but...he'd hate that. He wanted me to have an amazing life and it'd be a huge disappointment to him if I ruined my life because of sadness.
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MGF won't let me sign up because of my location and c4s, from what I see on the site, offers checks and wire transfer (Checks are hugely impractical and I'd wait for them to clear forever, and I can't use wire transfer). I guess it's just gonna have to be my regular stint.

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