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Thread: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

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    Default Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Since men can post in this forum (they can, right?)I wanted to ask if anyone got sterilized. I've mentioned my story before but here goes. Until I was about 35 I was dead set on never having kids. I didn't want the responsibility, didn't want to ruin my body (yes I know this sounds shallow but I was shallow ), plus most guys I met were not father material (and they would have left me if I had gotten pregnant). I asked my gynecologist to get a tubal but she didn't recommend it for me because she felt this could change.

    Then it did change it went overboard. My niece was born and I became completely smitten with her. Then I reconnected with the man I always wanted to be with and thought we would have kids. I imagined what our kids looked like and was even willing to go through childbirth to have kids.

    Now that it looks like he's gone I am throwing around the idea again. I know at 40 it seems pretty silly now because I probably only have about 10 years or so. Plus I suspect that part of it is because I got my bubble burst and because I wonder if I'll meet a guy I want children with. I doubt I will have this done and my doctor would likely say it was stupid because I am wishy washy and recovering from a heartbreak. Besides what if the feelings come back?

    Those of you who did it do you regret it? Did you have kids or knew you never wanted children?
    Last edited by Kellydancer; 03-09-2011 at 11:32 PM.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    No, but I would consider it. I'm almost 20 and I'm considering it.

    Either way, I don't think that your reasons for not wanting children are shallow at all. I COMPLETELY IDENTIFY with your reasoning.

    When in doubt, don't pop 'em out.

    It's easy to let a guy sway you like that. Trust me, I've been there. But are you honestly financially and emotionally ready for a child? And do you even have a husband/fiancee/boyfriend to help you conceive? And what are the chances of you finding one, and that he too wants one and IS father material?

    If you're still not sure about doing it, just keep using contraceptives. You only have realistically 5 more years and a huge liklihood of complications, due to age, if you change your mind. So really, you probably won't have to worry about it.

    Let the heartbreak sink in. Time heals all wounds. And don't jump to another guy for healing. That doesn't work. Give yourself some you time.

    Just take your time with this.
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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Actually, the complications are overstated based on age. My doctor told me that the reason older women have a higher risk is because many tend to be unhealthy as well (obese, diabetes, etc). I am not sure what I am going to do myself because it doesn't make sense for me to do it but it's something I considered earlier. I would only give birth if I found a great guy, otherwise I would adopt.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    I'd LOVE to be sterilized.

    In your case, though... I'd think it a mistake. Keep your options open.
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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    I think it would be a mistake as well. It's just something I considered years ago and glad I didn't. I know if I did it now it would be something I would regret. After all, what if I met a great man in a few months? I do know someone who got it done and she never regretted it. I know a few others who knew they didn't want kids (one has a terrible disease) so for them it was great.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Planning on it this year! I'm getting Essure, I think. I've never wanted children and not to be gooey, but I love my husband so much, I don't have any love left for anyone else, even a child. He feels the same way. I love our relationship and don't ever want it to change. <3

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kisca View Post
    I know I wont. I dont want any kids close near my age, dont want kids now at all.. I have other focuses. You are under a lot of stress Kelly. If you are doubtful in this situation, then I wouldnt recommend on doing it. It doesnt hurt just to leave the way you are.. then there is an option of getting preg and adpoting. You have been through a lot and know the risks unlike a female who gets knocked up without the proper knowledge. I think getting your tubes tied can wait or just left alone to keep all options at open.

    My mothers friend really wanted kids. But her doctor said she was not able to reproduce. They tried (mostly) everything, since they wanted both genes in their child. From sperm banks, to freezing eggs etc. They tried, tried, tried and tired -- for about 5 years. Around age 45 she finally got preg with her hubby - without any medical help! She was so happy.. I still remember the look on her face. Now a few years later, her daughter is heathly. I dont see why you need to take such a strong decision, if you do want kids, keeping it open would be at best. But its your body, do what you think is best!
    That's a great story and I've been hearing a lot like those lately, which cheers me up. I'm not likely to have this done and am glad I didn't have it done at 35 because I would have regretted it. My doctor doesn't like to perfom it on single women because most regret it if they are single. I figure if I don't meet a great guy I won't be having sex with him so no risk of pregnancy anyway.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Planning on it this year! I'm getting Essure, I think. I've never wanted children and not to be gooey, but I love my husband so much, I don't have any love left for anyone else, even a child. He feels the same way. I love our relationship and don't ever want it to change. <3
    Is Essure the one that can be reversible? I saw a commercial for it. If you are definitely sure it sure beats pills or condoms. I've heard vasectomy is easier though. A childhood friend got pregnant after her husband had a vasectomy which is kind of creepy (they had the child).

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    My husband is planning to get a vasectomy as well, and Essure is irreversible.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Both getting sterilized definitely makes sure there are no babies. I would say that if pregnancy happens after that then that is definitely a freak thing.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    I have essure. my son was 2 when hubby and I talked about weather or not we wanted more kids. My body was never a big fan of the pill, and I had 2 paraguard iuds and expelled both, after that i was kinda searching for an answer that wouldn't leave me 30 poounds heavier and mean, or knocked up!! haha. I got my essure back in 2008, about 20 minutes in office. I have to even say it was better than both iud placements because they numb you up for the essure ( i got a shot of demerol and a valum too) as long as you go for the dye test after to make sure you that you blocked on both side 3 months later after the scar tissue forms, you are free to screw like rabbits with out any form of birth control.

    I LOVE my essure, i am a textbook example how how it should go, yes women have had some issues with it.... but its the best choice that i have made for myself and my family. I was 23 when i got it done, my doctor never even questioned my choice. its my body and my right so why should he? Plus I already have one child hehe that is like 10 sometimes! if you have any questions about it you can always pm me

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    I'm not doing it now (or maybe ever) but if I was I would check into Essure. I know a few women who got the old version of tubal ligation and had to spend the night in the hospital. That would suck. Personally in that case I'd feel better with the man getting a vasectomy.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Quote Originally Posted by shannonkristin View Post
    I have essure. my son was 2 when hubby and I talked about weather or not we wanted more kids. My body was never a big fan of the pill, and I had 2 paraguard iuds and expelled both, after that i was kinda searching for an answer that wouldn't leave me 30 poounds heavier and mean, or knocked up!! haha. I got my essure back in 2008, about 20 minutes in office. I have to even say it was better than both iud placements because they numb you up for the essure ( i got a shot of demerol and a valum too) as long as you go for the dye test after to make sure you that you blocked on both side 3 months later after the scar tissue forms, you are free to screw like rabbits with out any form of birth control.

    I LOVE my essure, i am a textbook example how how it should go, yes women have had some issues with it.... but its the best choice that i have made for myself and my family. I was 23 when i got it done, my doctor never even questioned my choice. its my body and my right so why should he? Plus I already have one child hehe that is like 10 sometimes! if you have any questions about it you can always pm me

    Thanks for the info! I have a Paragard, got it installed in late 2003 and have never had any trouble with it, which makes me think I'd be a good candidate for Essure. If you don't mind my asking, how much was it? I live in Canada but I'm not certain if it's covered by the gov'nt health care plan. Either way my husband is still getting snipped as well; I'm not taking any chances! Awesome to hear a good review though!

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Couldn't get it done while I was in the Army. Always wanted you to have two kids first. Bah I don't want even one. fuck I don't even have pets.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Couldn't get it done while I was in the Army. Always wanted you to have two kids first. Bah I don't want even one. fuck I don't even have pets.
    I knew a woman in the army who wanted a tubal but they wouldn't allow it. She never wanted kids and at almost 50 still doesn't want them. I understand why they won't always allow childless to have it done because you could meet someone and want kids. For me I've only now wanted kids and I wonder if it's a passing phase. Out of all the guys I dated I've only briefly considered it with two guys (as in the whole marriage/family thing) and one is now married and the other was my last who's probably not coming back. I wonder how I'd feel if I met another guy who wanted a family.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Ive thought about it because hubby and I are 99.9% sure we dont want kids. Hes 36 and Im 28. This might sound weird but I dont think I would want kids with him. I mean he would never leave me or anything like that, but he would be more old-skool than me. As in think he should never have to change a diaper, never help with homework, not drive them anywhere. And since I plan on always having a pretty intense career life it would suck to feel like Im working 60+ hours a week and doing everything with the kids without any help. I love our relationship the way it is so I am happy with not having them. I wouldnt get sterilised however just in case we didnt last till the wrinkly days because if I ever was with someone who is more paternal Id probably change my mind. You never know what the future holds. What if he died tomorrow? Im only 28. Even though he's my sole mate, Im not up for enduring this world alone forever.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie_tinydancer View Post
    Ive thought about it because hubby and I are 99.9% sure we dont want kids. Hes 36 and Im 28. This might sound weird but I dont think I would want kids with him. I mean he would never leave me or anything like that, but he would be more old-skool than me. As in think he should never have to change a diaper, never help with homework, not drive them anywhere. And since I plan on always having a pretty intense career life it would suck to feel like Im working 60+ hours a week and doing everything with the kids without any help. I love our relationship the way it is so I am happy with not having them. I wouldnt get sterilised however just in case we didnt last till the wrinkly days because if I ever was with someone who is more paternal Id probably change my mind. You never know what the future holds. What if he died tomorrow? Im only 28. Even though he's my sole mate, Im not up for enduring this world alone forever.
    This is exactly why I never had kids. While I never had this strong urge to have kids until now (or perhaps it was repressed), I suspect this may have been different had I met guys who were paternal. So many guys I met were chauvinist in this respect and told me they would never change a diaper and expected their wife to exclusively breastfeed. Because I always thrived on having a career this wouldn't work for me. Now if I had met a guy who was into babies and wanted one I probably would as long as they would share responsibilites. Otherwise I'd rather be childless.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Couldn't get it done while I was in the Army. Always wanted you to have two kids first. Bah I don't want even one. fuck I don't even have pets.
    We took our monster child with us to talk to the Army doctor about a vasectomy. Our three year old only child terrorized his office for about 15 minutes before he agreed to do the procedure.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    This is exactly why I never had kids. While I never had this strong urge to have kids until now (or perhaps it was repressed), I suspect this may have been different had I met guys who were paternal. So many guys I met were chauvinist in this respect and told me they would never change a diaper and expected their wife to exclusively breastfeed. Because I always thrived on having a career this wouldn't work for me. Now if I had met a guy who was into babies and wanted one I probably would as long as they would share responsibilites. Otherwise I'd rather be childless.
    The funny thing is... I would do everything for my dogs and not worry at all. I know dogs are not even close in responsibility but if they were Id still happily do everything...diapers, homework, lessons, etc. Dogs are different though... theyll love you more than anything in the world. Kids grow up to be jerky drug addicts or take all your money and leave you in some shitty retirement home. Yep... dogs for me. And hopefully a cat and miniature pony one day too.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    I am the same way. I have a dog and cat and would do anything for them, including cleaning their butts. They love no matter what, whereas kids may not.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    if you only have 10 years left with your ovaries, id say just leave it. two years into it you could have an insatiable desire to have a child with a man you may not have met yet. or just for yourself. you never really know
    its a really really big decision. do not jump into it judging by available men.
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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    First I have no fucking clue as to the costs or logistics of it all.

    However the safe fall back to this procedures is frozen eggs and sperm. You get sterilized and can still have children later.

    As for taking care of us. Money does that. Your money or your child's money. I don't think any of use will be locked away miserable and forgotten.

    We will still be chatting and posting on forums while sharing hilarious pictures in our old age.

    I am going to enjoy dementia very much, thank you.

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    I have considered it as I had 2 children by the time I was 21 O-: and both c-section so don't fancy the risks of a 3rd Csection, and 99% certain I don't want anymore.

    My doctor laughed when I said I was considering it (I'm 23)

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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    ^^^^ That's rude.
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    Default Re: Anyone get sterilized or planning to?

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post

    I am going to enjoy dementia very much, thank you.

    Exactly.

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