blah blah blah here goes: OK I don't know if I miss the money or the job itself more. I've been out of work exactly one year. My EX took care of me that whole time and I got lazy just making him food and playing video games. But now I have to decide what I want to do. I am kinda kinky, and have the "like to share" good attitude that can charm the pants off people (no not literally!).... but it's probably the money.![]()
My very recent ex and I spent all of my savings and maxxed out my credit cards thinking we were getting it back from someone who....doesn't have it anymore.Okay so I'm 50 grand in the hole but he says don't worry about it and he will take care of it he just needs time. Now girls please don't jump on this part of the story- I need to have money for my minimum payments JUST IN CASE he can't pay them but in general the guy always makes things happen and has been making between 1-300K a year for most of his young life (he's 28 ) He just had a spending/traveling/loaning to friends/gambling problem and didn't save a dime of it. Well he doesn't gamble anymore thanks to me but I'm getting off track!
I've been applying for server and bartender jobs (I slaved in cafes and eateries from 14-21) hoping that a magical bottle service position will come up and I can get dressed up, laugh and take home 3-400 night. I have a standing agreement with the manager of a los angeles bar that if called up off of my resume he will say I cocktailed there for the last 5 years. (yes!) I know full well I'm going to have to smile and eat shit sandwhichs for my boss and the customers probably wherever I work in customer service like that....so why not be a dancer again? (aside from so dissappinting my ex so much that he has a bigger chance to default?)
There were times I would just get too high on weed to even go in and I'd cry off all my makeup, just wishing better for myself. But not really trying for better either. Just fucking off and wasting money on schools without finishing them (several colleges, hair school, personal training school)
Actually there were many days in a row of this dramatic pms wahh wahh bullshit. Then there were other times when I'd be so full of joy laughing my naked ass off with fistfuls of cash that I could hardly believe my good fortune!
I guess having the small waist and bubble butt I was born with, and having gotten implants in place of a completely flat chest, and having grown my hair out the whole time I was dancing.....(started with short punk hair and wigs, now is very feminine and long) ANd having been born a scorpio and running through a ton of boyfriends, just getting obsessed, getting together and then falling out of love and ending it you know? Well...then you add 5 years experience upside on the pole to a lifetime of taking off and on classes of ballet, jazz and modern dance, stretching, yoga and pilates....Well HOW CAN I NOT GO BACK TO IT?
Oh also my parents did not dis-own me either. Of course they were not pleased but they're pretty open minded and hands off california types and only get upset when I'm upset with it.
So yeah...thats where I'm at. The club I worked at in Los Angeles got remodeled while I worked there to go from no vip areas, all out in the open lapdances, to having curtains-pulled areas and selling block after block of 15 min VIP time with nasty chicks who I knew were not PRIMARILY giving good conversation and dances because the red couches immediately became a dingy mauve with cum and guy's leg sweat if they were going down to their boxers. I heard belts clinking and moaning sex noises almost all the time
WHich is sad. Because I could handle it before. Girls would just make up some dumb excuse why they had to leave and go meet their custies outside of work or at one of the many upscale hotels nearby. But rightnexttome and inmyface? Bleagh. Anyway.... I live 400 miles away now in Sacramento and I'm feeling like it will be a different scene. A sacramento stripper came to my club once and was so shocked at the level of contact in our dances that she hightailed it right back up the state! I haven't been to any of the clubs here and was even thinking maybe bachelor parties would be my thing. I think in the north state that is more popular than going to clubs as people are more spread out. I shy away from the whole club-stripper mentality. Like maybe jetting down to vegas coould be my thing? I just got sick of inside jokes with the DJ and whoring it up with the same fake bitches all the time. Well, I don't know, prostitution doesn't bother me ALL that much because I know I still offer something valuable just not AS valuable to certain people who refuse to substitute fantasy for actual sex. OK so thats going to be in any club and I'm over it, I guess I just need help with the general idea of going back and how to make it work for me this time.Or should I just stop thinking about it so much and try to find work out of the sexy-time industries first?



Okay so I'm 50 grand in the hole but he says don't worry about it and he will take care of it he just needs time. Now girls please don't jump on this part of the story- I need to have money for my minimum payments JUST IN CASE he can't pay them but in general the guy always makes things happen and has been making between 1-300K a year for most of his young life (he's 28 ) He just had a spending/traveling/loaning to friends/gambling problem and didn't save a dime of it. Well he doesn't gamble anymore thanks to me but I'm getting off track!
Or should I just stop thinking about it so much and try to find work out of the sexy-time industries first?
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