Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Luke wanted to know the ways of the Force.
The Force wanted to know the ways of Chuck Norris.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
When the president pushes the big red button Chuck Norris's cell phone rings
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked the earth a billion years ago, its still spinning
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattlesnake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattlesnake died
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it
Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror, it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was canceled shortly after going into pre-production. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He just stands there and dares the grass to grow.
When Alexander Graham Bell first invented the telephone, he had two missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris played "who will blink first" with a mirror. And he won
The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send-in Chuck Norris.
We decided to go the humane route.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
When Chuck Norris sends you a poke on Facebook, it kills you.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris once arranged his M&M's in alphabetical order.
When it's time for people to die, the Grim Reaper shows up.
When its time for the Grim Reaper to die, Chuck Norris shows up.
Chuck Norris once went on the show "Wheel of Fortune."
The last 29 minutes were spent in awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.



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