Results 1 to 19 of 19

Thread: My husband is published!

  1. #1
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default My husband is published!

    My husband recently wrote an article about the current state of the clubs, sent it in to Exotic Dancer Bulletin, and it was published!

    Seeing as he is (currently) a former SC manager, I thought it would be a pertinent read, for dancers and patrons here alike. It's an accurate portrayal of what's been going on in the New Orleans area.

    It makes me happy (even as a retired dancer) to know there are managers out there like him who actually care about their girls. I am so proud of him.

    Here's the actual article, instead of squinting at the scan:

    "The gentleman's club industry as a whole is facing a new adversary in our constant battle to exist, but this time the enemy is us. In the past few years, I have watched the slow and steady decay of a business I once felt proud to say I represented, and the current state of affairs sickens me. I am just one man who feels compelled to speak up in defense of an industry I feel so passionately about and which has made an enormous impact on my life. Without this business, I would not have many of the friends I treasure, and wouldn't have met my wife, who is my life. This business has given me and so many others so much, I have decided it is time to give something back. This document is nothing less than a call to arms to save a dying industry from an extinction brought about by our own hands.

    While I may be relatively young, I have been the manager, general manager, or the consultant called in to teach new owners and their staff how to run a gentleman's club and be a successful and respectable, but most of all, profitable business. I see how clubs operate now and most of the time I am amazed that they can even stay afloat, much less be profitable. The girls these days only remain at most clubs because no place else is any better, not because they are treated any better or make better money. I was taught that our dancers are the cornerstone of our business, because without them all we can offer our customers are expensive drinks. Once, managers knew everyone who worked for them; now girls are just a number and easily replaced. Once, a customer could not proposition a girl or make disrespectful comments without a warning from a floor host or manager and would be, if necessary, thrown out; now the girls are told to stop being so sensitive and to sit with someone else. Once, any dispute over money between a girl and a customer could be resolved through a fair hearing with the manager on duty; now the dancers are rarely even given a chance to speak, forced to give money back if a customer doesn't receive all he had hoped for during a private dance.

    Everyone who worked in a club used to work as a team because everyone made more money doing so, and there was an almost familial relationship that made for a uniquely rewarding working environment. That is usually no longer the case. Clubs are often separated into warring factions based on position, with shifting alliances; loyalty and trust replaced with suspicion and disdain. Managers are more concerned about their bonuses than about protecting the girls and therefore allow them to be verbally and sexually abused, often setting policies which enable it. I have heard horror stories from girls about some clubs where the hosts refuse to help a girl if she doesn't tip at the beginning of her shift and ignore hearing screams and cries while a rape takes place only a few feet behind where he stands. Managers allow girls to schedule meetings with customers outside the club for bachelor parties or “dates” with no concern for the girls' safety, the law, or how it affects the club.

    I came to an awful realization this morning when I was soothing a very upset distressed friend who was leaning on my shoulder and fighting tears, because when she told the manager of the upscale and “high-profile” club in which she works that a customer offensively disrespected her causing her to fear for her safety, she was told to just sit somewhere else, or when she complained about being groped she was told it wasn't a big deal implying that her morality and dignity were not a concern. I wondered if they would care if the same two guys did that to all of their girls. In my work, I now see many girls who walk through the clubs having been so abused or have become so accustomed to seeing unanswered abuses, that they have become desensitized and have the same “1000 yard stare” described by veteran soldiers. Young girls, new to the business, are trained not by management, as they should be, but by customers, who tell them a $40 dance includes “extra” and those whose job it is to train and protect them fail to say otherwise, even veteran dancers who know better, yet feel the same sense of hopeless abandonment. This lackadaisical attitude has become the norm and even once good managers have succumbed to this spreading rot. As more new girls flood the clubs with this pitiful lack of training, the experienced girls become outnumbered and often feel they have to conform or they won't make money. The new law of the land is that nothing matters as long as money is made, but at what cost?

    Too often, people with no knowledge of this business think our industry is filthy, corrupt, unholy, a world based on lies and deceit. We in management are falsely equated with pimps who use and abuse women who were abused by their fathers, have substance abuse problems, lack dignity and self esteem. The public perception from the uninitiated is that we corrupt the naïve and turn good girls bad. Although that has been the consensus for decades, the reality for the most part, was the exact opposite. Girls from every walk of life were taught to be charming, entertaining, engaging, alluring, but always a lady. We all helped each other and above all, made sure any female in the building was never disrespected, inappropriately touched, or made to feel threatened. Customers rarely got out of hand and it was quickly handled if they did. It seems that public perception has become the reality as girls are now given no training or respect. The new reality is that the dancers have been thrown to the wolves. When they are insulted or assaulted by customers and complain, management only asks why it's a problem with a dismissiveness that was considered unacceptable in the not so distant past. If we continue on this path, I don't see a future for this industry. Unless we make things right again, our businesses will close because eventually, no girls will come in or we will all be brought to task by the legal system, whether it be civil or criminal. Take a stand! Don't let this happen. As much as you need your girls, they need you. Help keep them safe, happy, and never forget they are human beings, not numbers or dollar signs. When they go home, they are someone's mother, sister, aunt, daughter, or wife. At work, they are your family."

  2. #2
    Veteran Member anelia's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Candyland
    Posts
    241
    Thanks
    142
    Thanked 45 Times in 27 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    i liked it. good for him!!
    "I'm teaching fools some basic rules. / I believe in the Golden Rule. The man with the gold rules. / I made a little money.
    And like the Bible says, I was enjoying the fruits of my labor. This is my comeback. This is me doing what I love to do." -- Mr. T

    "In the street I am my divine self. In the club I am a stripper, portraying a fantasy.
    That's not to say anybody can do or say anything to me but it's acting. Playing a role. That simple." -- Pure


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to anelia For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Featured Member *Jade*Love's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    839
    Thanks
    360
    Thanked 814 Times in 303 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    A very well written and honest article. It made me rather depressed while reading, because I've been witnessing and experiencing the things he writes about...all of us have. But I am glad these issues are being brought to light and there's managers out there who actually care about the dancers they work with.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to *Jade*Love For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2002
    Location
    way south of the border
    Posts
    25,932
    Thanks
    612
    Thanked 10,563 Times in 4,646 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Cynical

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    ^^^ all of his 'observations' are the exact reason that I retired !!!

    I just hope that he hasn't been 'too' honest.

  7. #5
    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Richmond, Virginia
    Posts
    3,019
    Thanks
    90
    Thanked 193 Times in 107 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    That was amazing and so true, great article. I'd be interested to hear what kind of responses he gets to it.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Susan-Va For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Thanks everyone. I am so unbelievably proud of him for being pro-active towards a cause he is deeply passionate about.

    As far as responses, they have all been positive, but it's only been about half a month- I'm interested to see how it pans out.

  10. #7
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Great article, good to see you back Mediocrity.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  12. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,142
    Thanks
    1,158
    Thanked 1,112 Times in 673 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Kudos to your husband, Med. Great article - I hope it makes a positive impact on the industry.
    Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
    - Oscar Wilde

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to jack0177057 For This Useful Post:


  14. #9
    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Posts
    675
    Thanks
    268
    Thanked 447 Times in 229 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Girls from every walk of life were taught to be charming, entertaining, engaging, alluring, but always a lady. We all helped each other and above all, made sure any female in the building was never disrespected, inappropriately touched, or made to feel threatened. Customers rarely got out of hand and it was quickly handled if they did.
    PREACH!

    Well written and insightful, congrats to your husband, you must be very proud.

    Also, I wasn't posting much when you left but it's good to see you back.

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Kat w For This Useful Post:


  16. #10
    Banned
    Joined
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Vegas, Baby!
    Posts
    2,136
    Thanks
    2,464
    Thanked 1,174 Times in 619 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Hell yes! The girls have had to restrain me from beating the shit out of - not unruly customers, but THEIR MANAGERS on more than one occasion and in more than one club. It's DISGUSTING how you ladies are treated by most of the club owners and managers these days. I'd give examples, but frankly typing out just a few of them would be twice as long as that article.

    An even sadder and more disgusting trend I'm seeing is former dancers going into management and behaving the same way! WTF - you know what it's like to be on the other side! It literally sickens me. There is one female manager - former dancer - manager at their current club that I swear to Gad makes me wish I lacked compunction about hitting women. She's worse than all the other managers combined and NEEDS a hard lesson.

  17. #11
    Featured Member Winged Dinghy's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    The dirty south
    Posts
    1,381
    Thanks
    1,942
    Thanked 1,992 Times in 605 Posts
    Blog Entries
    17
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    That is so awesome!!!! Miss y'all! Hope everything's going well up there.

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to Winged Dinghy For This Useful Post:


  19. #12
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Chicago, Illinois, USA
    Posts
    160
    Thanks
    279
    Thanked 82 Times in 56 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Thank you very much for posting this well-written and truly important article.

    It takes courage to take a stand for one's beliefs and principles. Mediocrity, you and your husband should be very proud.

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to Grac For This Useful Post:


  21. #13
    Veteran Member So Fine Divyne's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Thoroughbred Nation
    Posts
    468
    Thanks
    60
    Thanked 199 Times in 111 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Your husband sounds like one of those wonderful managers that you hardly ever meet anymore these days. Sounds like the type of manager it would be a joy to work with.
    Thank Goodness I smartened up! The old me is dead and gone.

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to So Fine Divyne For This Useful Post:


  23. #14
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,968
    Thanks
    798
    Thanked 1,121 Times in 605 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Congratulations. G is one sharp pony, very astute article.

  24. The Following User Says Thank You to KS_Stevia For This Useful Post:


  25. #15
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    958
    Thanks
    170
    Thanked 457 Times in 225 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Hi Mediocrity! Nice article!

  26. #16
    Veteran Member TinkerBall's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2010
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    244
    Thanks
    249
    Thanked 67 Times in 50 Posts
    My Mood
    Bashful

    Thumbs up Re: My husband is published!

    I loved the article. I really believe that the world would be a lot better if people showed more respect for each other. I was sad when you left here and I'm really happy you came back. You're husband sounds like a really decent person.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  27. The Following User Says Thank You to TinkerBall For This Useful Post:


  28. #17
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2003
    Posts
    8,351
    Thanks
    85
    Thanked 342 Times in 244 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Mellow

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Med, who is your hubby? I forget and apologize for not remembering.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  29. #18
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR View Post
    Med, who is your hubby? I forget and apologize for not remembering.

    FBR
    Former member nolamanager, FBR. He isn't managing clubs at the moment (we recently moved to Vancouver), but is still pretty involved in the industry.

  30. #19
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Great White North
    Posts
    3,605
    Thanks
    2,475
    Thanked 2,620 Times in 1,383 Posts
    My Mood
    Chatty

    Default Re: My husband is published!

    Great article. It shocks me that any manager has ever taken the side of a dancer in a customer/dancer dispute. I've never had a manager who wasn't a swindling, lying, narcissistic money grubber. I would love to work for someone like your husband - I honestly didn't think managers like that existed. Dancing has always been dog-eat-dog thing for me. Perhaps it's because of my newness to the industry....



  31. The Following User Says Thank You to 4everresolutions For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. will published modeling help camming?
    By hf487 in forum Club Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-31-2011, 11:22 PM
  2. Article published on tuscl
    By nola manager in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 09-13-2009, 06:53 PM
  3. Textbooks published just for my school?
    By Paris in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-25-2008, 11:59 AM
  4. I got published!
    By teeth_of_the_hydra in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 09-12-2007, 04:03 PM
  5. A piece of work I had published awhile ago
    By Lauren Daniels in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-13-2005, 01:18 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •