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Thread: MEN and their BS...

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    Angry MEN and their BS...

    (Kind of a rant, but has this happened to anyone? Let's share stories)

    I am so sick of these men and their games....more specifically: phone games.

    Some people say that a guy will not call you, just to see how you will react...I also believe a guy won't call you if he doesn't give a shit. So why act like he gives a shit? SMDH

    My ex would call me every month or so claiming that he changed and waited to get back together and then I would hear NOTHING for like 2 weeks from him....
    Now this guy I met online is doing the same thing. We have not had sex or anything, just getting to know each other, but he is VERY inconsistent. I really don't have time for phone games so this new guy does not get entertained...if you say you are gonna call me later and "later" to you means 2 weeks, then so be it...I stopped picking up the phone when he calls.

    I am a smart, educated and driven woman and I am so sick of these men ladies with their BS.

    I am a firm believer that if a man wants you, he will let you know it and make sure that he gets that position, so that another man can't come along and snatch you up. Am I right or wrong???

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Um yeah. You are so right. It is complete bullshit. I fell for that crap for years.

    "I've changed" "I miss you" blah blah....

    means

    "I'm horny. I haven't been laid in a month, come over."

    Don't fall for it. A man with real interest in you is around, he calls on a regular basis, and pulls zero disappearing acts.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    I'll tell you a secret, when a guy says "I'll call you" it really means "I'll call you if i have something to tell you". Calls are just not important to us, in fact some of us actively dislike using the phone. Girls take ill call yous like promises when they are more like... warnings? i guess. I tell my friends ill call them all the time, it is not a 100% guarantee that i am going to for sure pick up the phone and call them, it just means "if anything is going on ill let you know". Stop putting so much importance on a phone because honestly we really really don't. It is most certainly not a game or a test or doing it just to fuck with you.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    I would have to agree with the " I'll call you " and two weeks later bull.

    If he was really interested he would call you consistently. My last bf and I started chatting on a dating site, he called me every day! Or every other day. Even after sex the first time , he called the same day after I had woken up. This told me this guy is really interested.

    On the same dating site, I had the same random texts, random out of the blue calls. This same guy was flaky with dates to go surf or pretty much whenever. He flaked on a movie and called me so late that I couldn't even take my own ass to the movies. This showed me that this person was looking for a back up girl. I saw this guy only one time and never saw him again. Even 6 months ago, he called me up and tried to sound all excited about us never hanging out and that we should. Same bullshit, the only difference is that I was not going to meet him. I made him think ooh yeah I can't wait!lol. When he asked a few months later if we could hang I told him nope too busy. See this guy was going to be my platonic friend. I didn't see him as attractive or a romantic interest type. However his flaky vibe stated either A. He's abusing some sort of substance. or B. He's intimidated. He contacted me on fb about 3 wks ago saying he like my new pics and I just was like eh tired of seeing you name in my friends list. KICKED!

    I think perhaps I'm seeing many men like some of these losers that act weird on cam sites. BAN!

    But the point is when a guy is really interested he doesn't wait two weeks to contact a girl. If a guy does this, it usually means he's going through the rotation and your number has finally come up.

    WHILE DATING WOMEN ALWAYS NEED : A PAIR AND A SPARE. When you're dating 3 guys (1 guy not calling will just not matter) You'll almost think he's crowding you because you're so damn busy with the other 2!

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    You are right Amy Lee. Men who pull this early on aren't all that interested. It's different once you fall into a routine. When guys are interested they will call often. They can't wait to see you so they make sure they show interest.

    This is why if I do online dating I will start off dating several men and will dump those not interested.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    I'll tell you a secret, when a guy says "I'll call you" it really means "I'll call you if i have something to tell you". Calls are just not important to us, in fact some of us actively dislike using the phone. Girls take ill call yous like promises when they are more like... warnings? i guess. I tell my friends ill call them all the time, it is not a 100% guarantee that i am going to for sure pick up the phone and call them, it just means "if anything is going on ill let you know". Stop putting so much importance on a phone because honestly we really really don't. It is most certainly not a game or a test or doing it just to fuck with you.

    I would agree that men in general may have different meaning for things. But HUMAN nature and general common decency should come in to play.
    If a man claims to be interested in you...my bad: "sooooo interested in you", then he needs to remain accountable and consistent. I don't give guys "passes" just because they have more testosterone running through their body than I do.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by cherryblossomsinspring View Post
    I would have to agree with the " I'll call you " and two weeks later bull.

    If he was really interested he would call you consistently. My last bf and I started chatting on a dating site, he called me every day! Or every other day. Even after sex the first time , he called the same day after I had woken up. This told me this guy is really interested.

    On the same dating site, I had the same random texts, random out of the blue calls. This same guy was flaky with dates to go surf or pretty much whenever. He flaked on a movie and called me so late that I couldn't even take my own ass to the movies. This showed me that this person was looking for a back up girl. I saw this guy only one time and never saw him again. Even 6 months ago, he called me up and tried to sound all excited about us never hanging out and that we should. Same bullshit, the only difference is that I was not going to meet him. I made him think ooh yeah I can't wait!lol. When he asked a few months later if we could hang I told him nope too busy. See this guy was going to be my platonic friend. I didn't see him as attractive or a romantic interest type. However his flaky vibe stated either A. He's abusing some sort of substance. or B. He's intimidated. He contacted me on fb about 3 wks ago saying he like my new pics and I just was like eh tired of seeing you name in my friends list. KICKED!

    I think perhaps I'm seeing many men like some of these losers that act weird on cam sites. BAN!

    But the point is when a guy is really interested he doesn't wait two weeks to contact a girl. If a guy does this, it usually means he's going through the rotation and your number has finally come up.

    WHILE DATING WOMEN ALWAYS NEED : A PAIR AND A SPARE. When you're dating 3 guys (1 guy not calling will just not matter) You'll almost think he's crowding you because you're so damn busy with the other 2!

    You put the nail in the coffin...or however that saying goes...LOL.
    I could not agree more! It is annoying, I am no ones back up plan...these games are annoying...and just like you said I am done...BAN.
    As Jay-Z says: "On to the next one"

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Lee View Post
    I would agree that men in general may have different meaning for things. But HUMAN nature and general common decency should come in to play.
    If a man claims to be interested in you...my bad: "sooooo interested in you", then he needs to remain accountable and consistent. I don't give guys "passes" just because they have more testosterone running through their body than I do.
    I just don't understand why things need to be so complicated. If you want to talk to someone you call them, if you don't want to talk to them then it shouldn't bother you if they don't call. It's so simple, there is no need to ever sit around waiting for someone to call.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    I just don't understand why things need to be so complicated. If you want to talk to someone you call them, if you don't want to talk to them then it shouldn't bother you if they don't call. It's so simple, there is no need to ever sit around waiting for someone to call.

    It isn't about sitting around and waiting for a call.
    It isn't about who calls who first.
    It is about a man giving his word and not keeping it...most women get turned off by this.
    If you tell me you want me, act like you are so into me and then the calls stop coming and I am like OK, you're no longer interested and then 2 weeks later you call as if I am supposed to be all on your dick...NO. hell no.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    I just don't understand why things need to be so complicated. If you want to talk to someone you call them, if you don't want to talk to them then it shouldn't bother you if they don't call. It's so simple, there is no need to ever sit around waiting for someone to call.
    This. 100%.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Lee View Post
    I am a firm believer that if a man wants you, he will let you know it and make sure that he gets that position, so that another man can't come along and snatch you up. Am I right or wrong???
    This. The whole calling/not calling is, imo, the equivalent of the advice in that stupid 'why do men love bitches' book don't call too often and he'll fall all over himself chasing you bullshit.

    People are so manipulative it's ridiculous these days.
    Fuck him... go find a man who will be straightforward.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Lee View Post
    (Kind of a rant, but has this happened to anyone? Let's share stories)

    I am so sick of these men and their games....more specifically: phone games.

    Some people say that a guy will not call you, just to see how you will react...I also believe a guy won't call you if he doesn't give a shit. So why act like he gives a shit? SMDH

    My ex would call me every month or so claiming that he changed and waited to get back together and then I would hear NOTHING for like 2 weeks from him....
    Now this guy I met online is doing the same thing. We have not had sex or anything, just getting to know each other, but he is VERY inconsistent. I really don't have time for phone games so this new guy does not get entertained...if you say you are gonna call me later and "later" to you means 2 weeks, then so be it...I stopped picking up the phone when he calls.

    I am a smart, educated and driven woman and I am so sick of these men ladies with their BS.

    I am a firm believer that if a man wants you, he will let you know it and make sure that he gets that position, so that another man can't come along and snatch you up. Am I right or wrong???
    You're reading too much into it. However, whether it's intentional or not, it bothers you, and that's what matters. Whether it's intentional (and plenty if women play that shit too BTW) or he's a flake, matters not. What matters is he's not your kinda guy. You like guys who call when they say they are gonna call, and follow through, right?

    You can (1) tell him that if you like him enough and see what he says or (2) move on 'till you find a guy who does what he says he'll do.
    A cunning linguist...

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    i'm so with you.

    when i was younger, i didn't know better, so i'd keep myself open to these guys. i'd tell myself that he just didn't know better, maybe he was trying to play it cool, whatever. but usually they just don't care. it's not even a game. they don't even care enough to play games.

    some girls like chasing after guys. i don't. most guys will say all sorts of shit. they'll say they want you so bad. it just means they want you bad right this minute. it says nothing about how they'll be feeling in a week, or tomorrow, or in 10 minutes when they call someone else because you said no. it means nothing.

    the best way to know a guy is into you is that he's around. he wants to talk to you, wants to hang out a lot. even if he's busy, he'll make time. not because he feels like he has to, but because he wants to. he'll call even without having something to say, just cos he wants to hear your voice.

    i have other shit to do than deal with guy bs. and if a guy isn't trying to talk to me, he's not gonna try to please me sexually either. so it's not even worth having a mutually meaningless sex thing going on. i'll just take care of my own needs. all of them.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Lee View Post
    I am a firm believer that if a man wants you, he will let you know it and make sure that he gets that position, so that another man can't come along and snatch you up. Am I right or wrong???
    So what your saying "Do it my way or else".

    "Lavish me with attention or I will find another man who will".

    "I need a never ending geyser of affection to validate this thing called a relationship".

    Sounds manipulative to me.

    Notice: Hear ye! Hear ye!

    Men use use telephones to convey information, not feelings, sympathy, or empathy.

    After the information (e.g. Friday night, pick you up 7pm) is delivered; Men are done.

    Men conduct relationships face to face. If we're going to hold something in ours hand and whisper to it, that might as well be our dick.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    ^I don't think that's what she's saying.
    "if a man wants you, he will let you know it and make sure that he gets that position, so that another man can't come along and snatch you up." just means that if a man wants you he won't blow you off. He'll make it clear that he wants to be with you so that you aren't out pursuing other options. That's all.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    ^I don't think that's what she's saying.
    "if a man wants you, he will let you know it and make sure that he gets that position, so that another man can't come along and snatch you up." just means that if a man wants you he won't blow you off. He'll make it clear that he wants to be with you so that you aren't out pursuing other options. That's all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Lee View Post

    I am so sick of these men and their games....more specifically: phone games.
    That's where I get the idea.

    Really, could be a complaint about communication. If your under 25, fuck it, neither gender is really serious. Each is holding out because something better me be coming along.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    I hate guys who pull that stupid crap.

    the best way to deal though is to just stop putting them on a pedestal. it's hard when you really like someone and they act SOOO nice at first, but you gotta remember that perception is reality. if a guy's acting like a dickhead remember that you're too good for him anyway and when he finally calls because he gets bored, put him in his place.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    [..........
    Last edited by cherryblossomsinspring; 01-27-2012 at 12:00 PM.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Both older and younger men do this. I have dated men my age and men who are 15-17 yrs older...and I am not in my early 20's or mid 20's.

    My original point was/is that it is irritating, that's my opinion.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    If he says he calls because he is intersted and then calls you in 2 WEEKS, that just means he isnt. Time to move on.

    If a guy is intersted, he will call but he doesnt have to call you everyday, or when he says so. Sometimes people are too tired, busy, stressed, have things to do, just want to relax, have nothing to say, doesnt want to be on the phone. If a man is interested in will call either way WITHIN A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME -- not 2 weeks. He will keep a contact in form, but phones are used to deviler a message, not emotions.

    I hate the phone myself.. I will talk on it for longer than 10 mins maybe 1-2 times a month, thats it. I call friends, family, dates just to say "whats up, pick me up this day, at whatever time. bye" thats it. If the guy took 2 weeks to call, ignore him and move on. If a guy says he'll call and doesnt forget it there are a lot of reasons, if he calls the next day, no worry, but within a week or more the he is just retarded if he says " hes interested"

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Women play games, too.

    When I first moved to NY and met the guy I eventually lost my virginity to when I was 16, I was all excited because he was supposed to call me that night. I was at work at Dunkin' Donuts and telling one of my coworker Alyssa about it. She was like, "Well, you can't answer when he calls."

    And I said, "Why not?"

    She says, "If you answer when they call, guys think you're desperate, and they'll walk all over you. You have to pretend like you are really busy and have better things to do than talk to him. Act like you just aren't interested. Maybe you call him back after a week and act like you've been really busy. Then he'll feel lucky that you're deciding to talk to him. Then you've set the tone for the relationship, and you'll always be the one calling the shots."

    And I was like, "...but I WANT to talk to him. Why should I pretend like I don't?"

    And she reiterates: "Because you don't WANT him to know that you're interested. You want to be in control of the entire relationship, and this is how you do it."

    I thought this was ridiculous at the time, and even though every other girl in the store was busily nodding to what Alyssa was saying, I still thought they were just a fluke.

    Then I discovered that actually, the majority of the women in this area play this game. And now that texting is big, they've taken it to another level. Women up here will be all flirty and text text text, but if the guy actually tries to CALL them they won't answer, and say they were busy. But they were obviously NOT busy, because they've been texting him nonstop for like three hours. They just think they'll call the shots about actual phone calls, and that will somehow give them control. And then the guys all picked it up and started doing it, so you have all this weird resistance to being the one who caves about phone calls, and no one ends up calling anyone. It's some weird cultural thing now.

    Me, I don't feel any great need to have complete control over everything in my life. I think relationships need to be based on some type of equality, not one person calling the shots for the couple. So I never played any of those games, and I was pretty honest about how I felt. My ex was a little put-off by that--he said that in his experience, the girls who always said, "I don't play games," were actually the ones who DID play games, and a lot of them at that. I just don't have the patience for that shit, with guys or girls. Most of them seem to do it nowadays.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lacy Luck View Post
    Um yeah. You are so right. It is complete bullshit. I fell for that crap for years.

    "I've changed" "I miss you" blah blah....

    means

    "I'm horny. I haven't been laid in a month, come over."

    Don't fall for it. A man with real interest in you is around, he calls on a regular basis, and pulls zero disappearing acts.
    ...I used to fall for this, but you are exactly right.
    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post

    People are so manipulative it's ridiculous these days.
    Fuck him... go find a man who will be straightforward.
    This is definitely true. I've been with my share of manipulative assholes and just will not put up with it anymore. My last ex is like that... tells me he loves me and misses me and wants to marry me and then drops off the face of the earth. I know it's immature to admit, but women play games too...when my friend found out this guy was messaging me again, he told me to just play with him and see how he likes it. I was hurt, so I did what he said. The more I ignored him or led him on...the more he'd message me sounding more and more desperate to be with me. Like firemaiden said...I wanted to just talk to him and see him, but my friend said I shouldn't so I followed that advice. The ex wanted me more, but it killed me to do it and I didn't feel right about it. I shouldn't have to play games with him just so he stays interested in me. If he really loved me, it wouldn't be like that. I don't want the drama of constantly fighting for control of the relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Lee View Post

    I am a firm believer that if a man wants you, he will let you know it and make sure that he gets that position, so that another man can't come along and snatch you up. Am I right or wrong???
    I completely agree with you, and also with whoever said if the guy can't even try talking to me he isn't going to try to please me in bed either. Definitely true in my experiences. I know a lot of people don't like the phone (me included), but I don't mind it when I'm talking to someone I'm really interested in.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Read the book 'he's just not that into you' its awesome, i read this recently and it really made me think. xx
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    I just don't understand why things need to be so complicated. If you want to talk to someone you call them, if you don't want to talk to them then it shouldn't bother you if they don't call. It's so simple, there is no need to ever sit around waiting for someone to call.

    It really isn't that complicated at all. If a man has a thing for a woman he will call her. It's a matter of priorities. If the man does not call it is because the woman is low on his priority list. Simple as that. He may like her, he may even believe that he loves her but if he hasn't seen her in two weeks and he hasn't called her in two weeks it is because she really doesn't matter that much to him or he takes her for granted or he is using her low self-esteem to manipulate her.

    At best he only "loves" her when he is horny or when his buddies don't have anything planned or maybe because football season is over. It is a priority issue. If he doesn't call he really doesn't care that much.

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    Default Re: MEN and their BS...

    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterBexie View Post
    Read the book 'he's just not that into you' its awesome, i read this recently and it really made me think. xx
    I was going to suggest this and then noticed your post

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