Situation resolved.
Situation resolved.
Last edited by aqua; 03-16-2011 at 06:42 PM.
You already know you need to leave him, now the question is how to do it and stay safe right?
Is there anyway you can convincingly tell him you're a lesbian?
I'm not saying this to be funny at all. I've known men like this (the violent type) and they will get even more outraged if they think of you with another man after the break up (even to the point of stalking you and worse).
As for the bro, I would wait on him and just be single and do you. There's no rush to date him or anyone else at the moment.
regarding the camming issue; you'll find other guys, I would wait until a few dates in to tell them about your job though, good luck and stay strong![]()
If you're worried about your physical safety... I wouldn't break up with him in person unless you're in a public place.
If he comes to your house after that... don't answer the door. If you're worried he'll do that... maybe you should have a friend stay at your house with you for a little while? Just to keep you from feeling stressed out over it.
If he starts any sort of stalking/harassing behavior... call the police.
Outside of that... just use your common sense. Don't respond to emails/texts/phone calls and encourage him to contact you... if you're alone and you run into him, gtfo.
I hope you are not thinking of dumping one guy to date his brother, that is just a terrible idea.
I would have to agree with the posts above.
I would say leave and leave fast. These men including the supposedly nice brother seem really hateful and abusive. Also the fact that he let himself go shows that he no longer cares about what he looks like since he feels you're not going anywhere with his constant threats to your life and safety.
I also understand that you'll miss his family, but you must realize that they created that "beast" and now they've unleashed him onto the world of women. You should never be forced to have sex with anyone. This in of itself is his desire to undermine your self worth and attempt again to show how he in some how in control. He is not worried or concerned with what you enjoy. He doesn't love you but he actually HATES YOU and everything you stand for. You're intelligence , inner and outter beauty to many insecure men becomes something that they must strip from you in order to feel one with themselves.
You really must get away from this dark cloud of a person. He serves to only keep you in a feeling that you do not deserve better, when you deserve the world.
I have come across man men that fit the profile of you bf. They usually start out kind and respectful and usually within 1 month to 3 months the person begins to get very nasty and fly of the handle. I have dropped men that fit this mold without batting an eye lash. Most of the time that have mommy issues. Usually the mother talked down to them , called them names made them feel like the abortion that got away. They may have even been compared to older or younger siblings which made their hatred grow stronger for the opposite sex.
Later in life these men secretly harbor hatred towards women and it usually comes out in most of their relationships. The smarter one tend to keep things good for a 6 months to a year in attempt to gain the trust and love of their partner. The abusive actions come much later making many women stay with these types far too long. For the men that can't hold in their hatred for more than 1-6 months, usually the female can let him go with ease.
When it comes to women that work in the sex industry, many of these types gravitate towards these women at an alarming rate. It could be possible that since these we women deal with so many abusive and hateful comments from men, when it does come from someone they care about it's painful but it's somehow push it to the back of our minds.
I also want to add that when many people are cruel and hateful to others, it usually turns back on them in away where others can easily see. You bf has lost his looks and has gotten rather sloppy. It's starting to show. This is the perfect time to leave for I'm pretty sure he will not find another attractive woman that will stay by his side.
Also the brother thing. I would leave him alone all together. This could be another attempt at trying to get laid for free with minimal effort besides some nice "ohh you deserve better comments". Don't see him as the knight and shining armor because he is not. He seems to want to cash in on your bad situation.
I say cut them all off, that whole family is twisted. Also many men will not respect a woman that is willing to share him with another woman. He would not be ok if you brought another man around and decided to do a threesome right? This may have opened up the opportunity that he may feel it's ok to cheat. So to me this guy has gotten over in a major way.
If you don't live with him then this is the best news ever. Just change your locks , get a chain lock added and keep the door closed. Do not answer the door for anyone. If you hear banging call the police. Get a restraining order now just to have it , that way every time he violates it you can put him in cuffs. You need to be alone for awhile and enjoy loving who you are. If you have really good friends not related to his family or connected to them in any way, have them spend a few weeks over at your home. Also if you know a friend is coming over, have them call you when they are at the door. I also say make them use a password if he is out there waiting with them. Like you can say Mouse and they can just respond with yes or no.
I know this ^ seems a bit extreme, but you have an extreme hateful person that enjoys taking it out on you.
I hope things go well for you going forward, you deserve so much better!
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