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Thread: My mom just died a week ago

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    Senior Member NikoWhite's Avatar
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    Skull My mom just died a week ago

    Where to begin. I am only twenty. My mom wasnt just a great mom but my best damn friend in the whole world. She went to London on vacation they found her a day or two later on the bed dead. Her pacemaker gave out. She was only fourty three. I keep having dreams she faked her death or came back to life. At first I couldn't handle it i was drinkin my jack and takin more of my klonepins. Which i couldnt drink as much as i wanted i have a kid. Anyways now I am not sad or angry...... I refuse to believe it even though i petted her hair in her casket felt the skin that was always warm and comforting...... Was dry and cold as ice. I feel i never made her proud she hated me dancing got mad at my new ink etc. I just dont even know what to do we texted talked and saw eachother daily. She was the best grandma in the world. She loved my son so much she woild scroll through his pictures everynight before bed and said she loved him so much it hurt.
    She wont be at my real white wedding, next baby, any more good times. She was my only family besides my grandparents. I was in such denial the day after I heard I called her cell over and over. I did not want to believe it.
    So much shit has happened to me in my life that should never happen to anyone, now this. My bubbly personality has disappeared into a bitter atheist . I cant even work now i stay in my pjs all day hardly leave my place. I am the type of person that never cries in front of people. So when my son is asleep I cry and cry listening to whiskey lullaby.


    I dont know what to do......,

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    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    Oh Wow! That is just horrible. I don't know what to say except I'm so sorry and you need to be kind to yourself. You're in shock.
    But do get those feelings out there don't bottle them up. Tell us or tell a friend.
    I was reading a book about the afterlife from a psycic medium not too long ago and they say on the "other side" there are no bad feelings toward your ink or your dancing. Just total love and understanding.

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    Featured Member Mindy Bares All's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    God, I am so sorry to hear that.

    Reading that made me cry. I feel your pain.

    I don't think there is anything that I could say to even begin to make you feel better.

    Time does heal all wounds.
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    Featured Member FiendishGyrator's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    It's going to be rough going for awhile. Seek out friends to help you because you will need time to yourself and with a kid that's hard to get. Also when you have energy, make and freeze a bunch of dinners because you won't have the energy later to do it and at least cooking (or throwing yorself into learnig something) will help give your mind something to puzzle over besides going over the same ground over and over in your mind about anything to do with your mom.

    Anything that you can learn (and I'm not saying now but soon enough) that will give you something technical or detailed to pay attention to will help be meditative.

    And don't stop talking to your mom. Just because she can't talk back doesn't mean she can't hear you.

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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, i can only imagine the pain you are going through. My deepest sympathy goes out to you.

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    Featured Member MistyRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    I'm so sorry, hun. I can understand how you feel - I lost my boyfriend two weeks ago. It's horrible, shocking and so hard to deal with losing someone who is a huge part of your life. I never liked surprises, and death is the greatest surprise of all, a strong fist that punches and shatters your life.
    It's hard and it's not gonna stop being hard for a long time, I think. What helped get me through these past few weeks were my friends who flocked to make sure I'm okay after I let them know, some who listen to my daily confessions of how I feel, people here on the forum who expressed their sympathy and support and just trying really hard.

    Personally, I'm religious, and one of the first things I did when it happened was to go to church. A really great priest told me one thing that helped me a lot, to try to think that my bf is, in a way, closer to me now then he was when we lived on different continents (LDR) and that people don't stop loving us after they pass way. On the contrary, they now see us clearer and love us without any reproaches. Even if you're not religious, I still think you can apply this to your mom. She is happy now and doesn't care about those petty things you think bothered her while she was alive and you can be sure she *is* proud of you.

    To me it's still hard to accept he is gone. Every day, in my head there's ringing "He is really gone...I can't believe it" for dozens of times. But reality is a harsh mistress. It is what is it. You will never stop missing your mom, and I will never stop missing my boyfriend, but we'll learn to live our lives the way we can best and make them proud of us. Don't forget, your mom still loves you.

    *hugs*

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    Lost my mom five years ago, and there have been others, close family and friends, but I just posted about all that I don't want to repeat myself.

    You'll never stop missing her, but time will help with the healing.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    Please accept my sympathy in your sorrow, NikoWhite.

    The advice given in the posts above is really important: please be very good to yourself.

    Please take very good care of yourself and your son right now, for your dear mother's sake.

    As you posted, she was a wonderful mom and grandmom. I have no doubt that this is what she'd want you to do.

    Once again, please accept my deepest sympathy.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    So sorry you lost your mom. Djoser is right... nothing will ever make it better but time will lessen the pain. Its gonna take a lot of time. Dont feel bad about being sad, angry etc. You can feel however you want to feel. Its your mom. Love and hugs. xx

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    I lost my mom three years ago last week. I still miss her.

    The only thing you can do is to live your life in a way that would have made her proud.

    So sorry...I know your pain.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss., NK, she's so young! Mr Hyde, I am sorry to hear of your loss also.
    Many blessings to both of you.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my father and brother within a few years and Djoser is right, it will never be ok, but I promise, time will heal the pain a bit. Not going to say the stupid things that people say at this time when they just do not know what to say. It is hell, it is not fair, but focus on all the wonderful memories and the special love you had and it will see you through. Take care of yourself and my thoughts are with you, hon.
    Jas

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    Im so sorry for your loss. Time will take the pain away. Think of the positive things, think of what she achieved, what you two did together. Live life through her and be happy. She wouldnt want to being upset and angry, she would want you to be happy. She's still over looking at you. Seeking out a group, friends, family, -- anyone can help. I wish you all the best, you will get better.

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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    God/dess anouk.oui's Avatar
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    i am very sorry for you too honey. and i agree with kisca, your mum would want you to move on and lead a happy and fulfilling life.its up to you when you make the decision to do that for yourself. if you rise to a new level instead of fading away im sure she will be very proud of you.
    i have been extremely fortunate and have not lost anyone so close to me, however my mum had a cancer scare about a month or so ago and i couldnt imagine what it would like to be without her.
    deepest sympathies xx
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    Default Re: My mom just died a week ago

    Reading your post actually made me tear up a little Im so sorry for your loss <3 Stay strong lady

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