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Thread: Low self-esteem?

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    Member vicky89's Avatar
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    Default Low self-esteem?

    i hear people say that strippers are just girls with low self-esteem. i hate that they think that but i love dancing. how do you respond to that? do you think there may be a hint of truth in it? just curious to see what other dancers think about it. i, personally, hate that stereotype.

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    whenever someone tells me strippers have low self esteem I remind them that you have to REALLY like your body to get up on a stage and take all your clothes off for a stranger. how many women do you see running around with EVERYTHING covered up, baggy pants, baggy hoodies, because they HATE their bodies? how many times do you go to the beach and see girls wearing one-pieces and tankinis instead of a two piece?

    also, with how much rejection we face every night we still have to be able to brush it off and go RIGHT up to the next guy with this "I'm hot shit" attitude.

    if strippers had low self esteem it would be IMPOSSIBLE to smile in a guy's face half naked and feel perfectly secure

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    Ugh. This is my biggest issue that I just cant seem to shake. Everyone tells me I would make a KILLING if I could get my confidence up, but I just dont know how to...Ive been bullied all my life so its really hard for me to see myself as sexy. I feel so ugly. Especially compared to the other dancers :-(

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    There are definitely lots of dancers who have low self-esteem, but, as Lexi pointed out, many women do in general, and I don't think there's necessarily a relationship between the two. I think that dancing requires high self-esteem to do well, but being in the environment can go either way: some girls get more confident from doing well and getting all sorts of compliments, while others lose confidence because they take rejection/bad nights/cruel comments too personally. xGigi's response is a pretty good one to people who bring it up, I think!

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by xGigi View Post
    whenever someone tells me strippers have low self esteem I remind them that you have to REALLY like your body to get up on a stage and take all your clothes off for a stranger. how many women do you see running around with EVERYTHING covered up, baggy pants, baggy hoodies, because they HATE their bodies? how many times do you go to the beach and see girls wearing one-pieces and tankinis instead of a two piece?

    also, with how much rejection we face every night we still have to be able to brush it off and go RIGHT up to the next guy with this "I'm hot shit" attitude.

    if strippers had low self esteem it would be IMPOSSIBLE to smile in a guy's face half naked and feel perfectly secure
    I completely agree with this. This is pretty much my attitude towards it as well. Sure, a lot of women do have their own body issues but most girls at my club seem to really rock their own looks. They definitely have good self esteem because it takes that in order to get up onstage butt naked and do all this crazy dancing.

    I think since it's such a high competition environment, that tends to eat away at some dancers who are newer or maybe not as sure of themselves. They end up comparing themselves to all the other girls. You just have to keep in mind that every girl is some guy's ideal. Sometimes it may be the other girl, but sometimes it is gonna be you. You're not gonna win them all, but who cares? If you keep your head up and a smile on and keep having confidence in yourself - you'll do well!

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    actually strippers have low and high self esteem I think t be doing this job. First of all you NEED confidence to do this job period. high anxiety/nervous/low self esteem realllllly affects your income. I think a part of is is insecure and loves the validation from so many people and yea

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    You have to have some sense of self esteem to do this job period. What brings it down is when u have nights when people rnt tipping u well..But in reality it may not be what u look like..Sometimes its isnt even something the dancer can control. She for example--could be the prettiest girl in the club but the other average looking girls r better friends with the regs in the club that night and then make all the money. You can be very pretty and sometimes not make alot of money. And that can warp ur viewpoint of urself. It happens. But for the record I do think u have to have at least some self esteem to do this job. All the criticism is tough. And sometimes it only improves self esteem in the long run when u can decipher between reality and fantasy.

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    There are plenty of dancers with low self esteem... just like there are plenty of women hanging around in the regular world with low self esteem.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    well what i was getting at is that people seem to think that girls become dancers because they have low self-esteem and need attention and compliments to feel good about themselves. i mean do you think your self-esteem would drop if you stopped dancing?

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    The difference between me and other bitches is they think they are hot shit. I KNOW it down to my DNA helixs and molecules that I am hot shit.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    ^yeah well that's obvious :]

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    Quote Originally Posted by vicky89 View Post
    well what i was getting at is that people seem to think that girls become dancers because they have low self-esteem and need attention and compliments to feel good about themselves. i mean do you think your self-esteem would drop if you stopped dancing?
    nah. compliments don't mean shit in a club if they aren't accompanied by money. and, frankly, in most clubs, there are just as many insults as there are compliments. and the insults can be downright mean. when you're naked onstage and can't get a dollar, it feels really shitty. when someone tells you outright that you're nothing great and tries to get a blowjob for less than the price of a lapdance, it can really hurt if you have low self esteem and don't innately know you're better than that.

    you have to be pretty strong to handle it.

    personally, i have great self esteem, but my self-image sucks. these are very different things. i feel great about myself, but i have a hard time feeling like i'm attractive. i have a very hard time working frequently just because it's so stressful to go back after a bad night, or even a good night when i got lots of insults from the guys who didn't want me. i'm a subsistence stripper. and believe me, taking time off is fucking wonderful for my self image. i always feel a lot better about my looks when i've taken a long break. then i go back, and it's so hard cos all of a sudden i'm like "oh yeah, i'm too ugly to get a dollar onstage unless i beg for it. this sucks."
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    I think you're either gonna have a very high esteem like xGigi said, or really low self esteem. I have always had low self esteem and to be honest that is why I got into stripping because it boosts my self esteem and all these guys admiring makes me feel better about myself. So that stereotype applies to me.

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    I really don't think most girls become dancers for the compliments, I think most girls become dancers for the money! LOL. Sure, the compliments are nice, but I know that I take all of them with a grain of salt. These guys are saying shit like that to all the girls, and a compliment only really means something to me if it is accompanied by a 20 dollar bill.

    Basically, there are girls who are doing this job to help bolster their self-image. It's nice hearing guys telling you you're hot shit for 7 hours every day, 5 days a week. But I think the majority of the girls that come into the club to dance already think they're pretty hot shit, that's why they've decided that they can handle taking their clothes off in front of a bunch of guys. 'Cause they're totally confident about their bodies and themselves.

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    I have uber-low self esteem in the real world, and in the club, im as confident as can be, no1 would know im really quite shy and i suck at social situations. Don't ever think you're ugly, people use "fat" "ugly" etc as reasons to validate themselves, bullies only bully cause they want you to feel worse than they do.

    You have to have a pretty thick skin to take the shit that goes with the job, its a make-or-break, try it, if you dont like it and its not for you, then no biggie,
    all the worlds a stage, ours just has a pole on it
    ''I love fake boobs''
    ''They're not fake! I grew them myself!''

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    Dancing is destroying me lately. I actually know how to use the pole, in other words it seems like I offer some entertainment value while other girls just flop around and wiggle their butts. I have been lucky to break a hundred dollars a night, normally making about eighty dollars a night.

    I will sit with a guy for hours and then he will go to the private dance area with a troll doll.

    I feel ugly and old, uglier and older ever day. Especially when I see the oldest men with the youngest girls. What is their fantasy? Does the girl remind them of a grandchild they had a thing for?

    I feel fat. Other girls tell me I am skinny but all I can see are reasons why I am only making eighty dollars a night while the girl who looks pre-teen is making five hundred dollars.

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    ^If you cared less about how the other dancers are doing, you'll make more money. It took me a while to realize that; some veteran dancer told me that once.





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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    I definitely agree with Jay12. The more you think about the money other people are making, the less you'll make yourself. It stresses you out because it sets this expectation like, "If she's making x amount, I have to equal that or more". When you set those kind of expectations, unless you're a person that thrives on competition, it'll wig you out and you'll end up making less money because you're spending your time thinking too hard instead of flirting! LOL.

    I kinda know how you feel since I'm a really "classy" dancer for my club...I dance to more alternative music (not top 40 pop) and don't do a lot of the tit-shaking, booty-popping that the other girls favor...so some days it feels like I don't make as much because all the guys who come in are looking for a stereotypical stripper, not me. But then other days I bank because guys are surprised to find someone classy and talented versus all the silly bimbos. Haha. So just don't overthink it, you might just be going through a rough streak right now, but if you keep your attitude positive - you'll get out of it!

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    I am planning on quitting when asked to schedule next. I am going to tell them I am not scheduling because I am quitting. I need some time off.

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    Default Re: Low self-esteem?

    I think there are some dancers who feel as though their body/ physical attributes are all they have to offer.

    Others love dancing and see it as a means to end.

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