So, as some of you know, my camming work is largely in the fetish--specifically pro-subbing--category. I'm a natural sexual submissive, and nothing turns me on like serving my partner. And for the most part, I've found my professional subbing work really, amazingly fulfilling as well.
For the past two weeks, I've been playing with a British guy, getting into some pretty nasty--and exciting--stuff. When I was going away on vacation, I wrote a note on my profile advising my regulars that I'd be away, and thinking of them very fondly, and that if they wanted to express their affection for me in my absence, I'd be overjoyed to return home with a new sex toy off my wishlist for me. Nasty British Guy wrote this to me:
May I say for someone studying English - you fall some way short. If the best you can do is just say sorry without any literally support - then my dear girl you are destined for a much poorer future than I had thought.
Having said that, I am please you signed off as my bitch - at least we are making some head way and was therefore going to make a purchase from your wish list. But, having looked it seems so "cliched" and lacking in any real imagination (Which I thought you had in abundance).
Now, some of you may also know that I'm an English PROFESSOR, with two degrees in the subject. I don't market myself as such; I market myself as a student. It seems, though, that Nasty British Guy really hit upon something in me, because I've been fighting the urge, for the past day, to reply VERY rudely to him. I consider myself as very thick-skinned, and, like I said, we've gotten into some very risque, taboo stuff together, so it seems almost silly that I'm so pissed off at him for insulting my grammar.
I don't think it's just that, though. I could deal with that. I actually think he may very well be a very successful dom, because he's actually found a nerve in me, and struck it, cruelly. I think whats getting me, though, is that I'M NOT GETTING PAID FOR IT. When I practice D/S with my romantic partner, I can take absolutely anything, because I love him; when I practice D/S with my camming clients, I can take almost anything, because I'm getting paid for it, and because, secondarily, it gets me off. But this--this is neither, and this is really getting to me. On vacation! And I resent thinking about it on vacation! And I keep stopping myself from writing back to him because I don't want him to leave me horrible feedback, but that, in itself, seems awfully manipulative.
GAAAAAAAAH. Sorry for rambling. I'm just really fucking pissed, the more I think about it. I don't care about what he said; I care about what he said without paying me. The LATTER bit shows a complete lack of respect, in my book, at least.



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