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Thread: Anyone run into an old flame?

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    Featured Member Mindy Bares All's Avatar
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    Default Anyone run into an old flame?

    Kind of dreading the inevitable. Going to a thing in a month, and he'll be there.

    So I guess, share your stories here. Advice. Whatever.
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    Yes, several times. I saw one ex a few years after we broke up at a pizza parlor. I was with friends and he was with his new girlfriend. We broke up amicably so there were no hard feelings and he introduced me to his girlfriend, now wife. I've seen other exes at events but like the first one they were all amicable breakups.

    There is one ex I had a terrible breakup with (not including the latest guy) and luckily I haven't seen him again.

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    Featured Member Mindy Bares All's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    Yeah, this was somewhere between bad and not a clean break.
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    So in other words a bad breakup? I would completely ignore him or he bothers you that much not go. I know the evil ex I am not likely to see him since we don't know many of the same people (or we did but lost touch with them).

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    ahh this is why I don't leave the house looking anything less than smokin' hot.

    I bumped into an old flame and his short, chubby, acne-ridden, new girlfriend at the mall.
    I always look very well put together when I go shopping so that the sales associates at the high end department stores will actually give me the time of day.

    I'm walking around in a sexy little sun dress, a cardigan, and stilettos when I see him. I'm also carrying a HUGE blue shopping bag from tiffany's since I had just picked up 6 champagne flutes as a wedding gift and had them wrapped.

    we had also broken up on VERY bad terms. he introduces me as "a girl I dated in high school" we chatted briefly.

    he noticed the shopping bag and was like "oh what did you buy?" and I was like "oh just a little present for somebody" keeping it vague. the new girlfriend was like "tiffany's??? isn't that expensive?" and I just said "I really love their quality and design."

    we chatted for a bit longer and his girlfriend was STARING me down. clearly the bitchy jealous type. I could tell how awkward and uncomfortable they both felt :] it was great!

    my advice? nothing says "FUCK YOU" like a biiiiig smile

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    I used to run into exes all the time, that's why I moved.

    I love the quote "Living well is the best revenge". Just smile and look happy, even if you might not feel that way when you see him.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    My awful awful...awful...ex-boyfriend married my former best friend and college roommate (our friendship fell apart before they started dating). Both feel very competitive with me...the kind of people where no matter what I say, they have to try and one-up.

    Unfortunately, we have mutual friends, and everyone we know is getting married, so we run into each other a lot.

    I used to stress about it, now I don't care. That's the best recommendation I can give. It may help beforehand to make a mental list of how much better you life is now without them, and how you don't need to obsess or worry about the meeting up, because you're just fine.

    I still make an extra effort to look fabulous (and a fear of running into exes is also why I never leave my house without makeup and my hair done), but I don't go out of my way to talk to them or not talk to them. If we do, I do perfectly civil small talk. If they try to one up me, I justs mile sweetly and congratulate them, then change the subject. That usually shames them into shutting up.

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    Featured Member Mindy Bares All's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    Quote Originally Posted by noelle View Post
    I used to run into exes all the time, that's why I moved.

    I love the quote "Living well is the best revenge". Just smile and look happy, even if you might not feel that way when you see him.
    Haha. Funny thing is I did move. 624 miles away. Not just because of him. But we still have a ton of friends in common.

    But really good advice.
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    Quote Originally Posted by kandie_kitten View Post
    If they try to one up me, I justs mile sweetly and congratulate them, then change the subject. That usually shames them into shutting up.
    ^
    yes...

    do not try to TELL him how great you are doing, just smile, say hi, be a little uninterested in the small talk(maybe look around the room briefly while he is talking) or whenever they try to brag about how well they are doing...but be polite. After you have had your brief conversation, Just look him in the eye and say "Well....It was good to see you, again" (Not really meaning it) Smile and walk away.....and dont give him another thought..(or at least dont show it).

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    I have ran into an old flame and ended up sleeping with him (big mistake). Another guy I ran into and started dating again (also big mistake).

    On the 8th I'm obligated to go to a concert where this guy that I almost had an affair with is playing a gig with a good friend of his who is trying to date me currently. My current gf will also probably be there. I expect much drama and may just shoot myself to avoid it.

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    I usually just say hi and keep going if we come face to face. Otherwise, I refuse to acknowledge existence. I've noticed a pattern with my exes of making it known to whoever is around that may not know that they used to date me. I just get vague with it then. Like,"yeah, we dated, umm like, what 5 or 6 yrs ago. Yeah, I was so young then." and then start a new conversation. Its like a game with some exes. Especially if a guy at an event is noticing you, they make sure to come over and mention you all used to be together.I've found vague and disinterested to be my thing.
    Thank Goodness I smartened up! The old me is dead and gone.

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    Featured Member Mindy Bares All's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    I may be worrying for not. She says that they won't have much time in town after, so I'm not expecting a whole lot of anything.

    I plan to look hot, look happy, uninterested in small talk.

    Should I go for coffee if he asks? (as if he would...)
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    ^ If it wasnt a clean break up and want nothing to do with him, then dont go. If you agreed to be friends, that there are no hard feelings on either side, then I dont see why not. If you feel like you need to put on an act, I would say dont go, or emotions will play too much.

    Saying hello, with a smile, a how are you and how are things, following by great to see you, Catch you around with a "Ha" walk away from them says I own this mother-fucking joint that your game doesnt work on me! If my break ups are clean, I usually dont say hello unless they come up me, I just say hi, how are you, great, Cya. Nothing more, nothg less.. dont have interest, life goes on! Dont stress over it too much.

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    Quote Originally Posted by Booblover View Post
    I have ran into an old flame and ended up sleeping with him (big mistake). Another guy I ran into and started dating again (also big mistake).

    On the 8th I'm obligated to go to a concert where this guy that I almost had an affair with is playing a gig with a good friend of his who is trying to date me currently. My current gf will also probably be there. I expect much drama and may just shoot myself to avoid it.
    You know there's actually ways to make yourself so sick you can't leave the bathroom for, oh, twelve or so hours, even less. You know, if you didn't want to have to liiiiiiieeee about coming down with something quickly and oh-so-brief.

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    I used to run into exes all the time, that's why I moved.

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    Just make sure you look super hot... and have fun. Your not there for him... don't give him the satisfaction of being nervous.

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    Quote Originally Posted by FiendishGyrator View Post
    You know there's actually ways to make yourself so sick you can't leave the bathroom for, oh, twelve or so hours, even less. You know, if you didn't want to have to liiiiiiieeee about coming down with something quickly and oh-so-brief.
    Do tell, cause if I lie, current gf will have her hiney over here...Oh, and to make things more interesting, she had a huge crush on both the almost ex-lover (it was defo an emotional affair) AND the friend trying to date me at the moment. She refuses to believe that the friend is too....uhmmm, submissive for my tastes. He's a 6'5" tatted guy who looks all badass, but is really emo. Good friend material, but that's about it. Her and another guy who shall not be named are the only peeps I have an interest in atm, but she refuses to believe that. Aghhh!!!

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    Featured Member Mindy Bares All's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    ^^^ Drama, drama, drama.

    Sheesh. You'd think that shit in high school would've cured most people...
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mindy Bares All View Post
    ^^^ Drama, drama, drama.

    Sheesh. You'd think that shit in high school would've cured most people...
    Uhm, this is my fault. The current gf is a bit young for me. Only 23. She seemed mature when we met, but has gotten progressively more clingy and possesive, to the point I'm seriously considering ending things. Also, since the divorce I seem to notice that there are many 30+ yr olds that don't act much better than the 20 yr olds. It's a major reason why I prefer older men actually.

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    Featured Member Mindy Bares All's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone run into an old flame?

    ^^^^ Ditto!
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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