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Thread: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

  1. #1
    Senior Member AnotherBruisedPeach's Avatar
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    Default Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    I've been stripping for about a month but I've realized fairly quickly that people in this industry interact with each other much differently.

    I mean you can get away with doing/ saying a lot more and I'm totally fine with that. I have a perverted/ sexualized personality as it is.

    I go to one particular clothing store for stripping clothes.
    The owner says he has been working in this industry for years.
    I'm one hundred percent comfortable around him.

    He is very honest and I always make money in whatever he sells me.

    That being said he is a bit err handsy in the dressing room.

    I'll dress and undress in front of him. He'll touch my boobs when explaining the cut of a top. He'll kind of touch my vagina or run a skirt against it to show me what to do on stage. Today He had me like sit on his lap and showed me what I could do when giving lap dances with this one little tie thing on a outfit. You know? I didn't give him a lap dance or anything..


    Like I said I don't feel violated or freaked out in any way. I'm just wondering is that the norm? Am I under reacting or over reacting?

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    "Any girl who will let them" is exactly right. Handsyness is commonly attempted. If you don't move back or act uncomfortable with it they will keep pushing the boundaries. Personally, I prefer to put on the don't-fucking-touch me vibe, but thats just me.

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  4. #3
    Senior Member AnotherBruisedPeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    Yes he was like don't be nervous I'm not looking at your body. My wife is near by. I was kind of taken aback at first but didn't want to be rude.

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    Veteran Member Camateur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    Next time have him demonstrate on his own body perv Is this in Vegas per chance?

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    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    Yea, no, that's not normal and I wouldn't let it fly.

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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    I buy stripper clothes from a guy who makes them, and he helps me with the tops & bottoms while being respectful -- not pervy at all. He's not touchy feely. I think it's normal for someone in that situation to help you with your outfit, but it's kind of excessive to "show you" what to do in such a sexual way. A lot of girls would be uncomfortable or feel violated.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    WTF?! No way would I let anyone touch me like that... Id tell him to fuck off.

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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    you really should stand up for yourself - that is so inappropriate
    Last edited by Kourtney; 05-16-2011 at 08:36 PM.

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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    I would be super uncomfortable with that.......

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    Fuck that shit. Just because you're a stripper, it doesn't mean it's okay for random douchebags to feel you up. He's taking advantage of you and using the same approach guys in the club use on newbies when trying to get extras, "Oh, it's okay, I've worked in strip clubs, I know how it works. You won't get into any trouble. All the other girls do it," etc. Some guy grabbed me like that in a clothing store I would deck him.

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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    Uhh, you are not paranoid chica... Sorry but no one that has ever sold me stripper clothes has ever "demonstrated" how I should do a lapdance... What a pervy fuck. You need to stand your ground and just back up when he tried to help you. Tell him you got this, you can handle dressing yourself. Or next time his hand gets close to your tits or pussy, step back, look him up and down and say something!! I don't care if his wife is in the other room.. She probably wouldn't be very happy seeing her husband groping the girls.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi_Girl View Post
    Sounds like something a sexual abuser would say. To be honest.

    Your 'not wanting to be rude' while this random guy is touching your tits? He's the one being rude.
    I second this! You gotta get beyond worrying about other people's feelings when they are molesting you. o one over 5 years old needs someone to "help" them put on intimate clothes. Tell him to back the fuck up, you can handle getting dressed. Truthfully, I wouldn't spend another dime there.

    BTW the freedom in this industry extends to being able to tell people the fuck off.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    I met a creepy as heck guy like this in some love lingerie shop on hollywood blvd. They're. All. So. Creepy.

    That being said, they'll only take from you what they can.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    No, that's definitely not cool. I would never tolerate that. I'm sure that he sees you are new and still "innocent" or "naive." It's a perv preying on the fresh blood - that's what this is.

    If I were you, I'd find a new shop OR shop online (it's way cheaper anyways). You have to demand to be treated professionally and with respect in this industry. People assume strippers are all women who just walk around waiting to be touched and accosted. Stand your ground!

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    Veteran Member katerina29's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    It's how people make you feel, and if you don't say anything they will continue to do it and push the boundary further. I don't like being touched and I make that very clear. If someone starts trying to touch me I either step back or say something. Forget about being rude, he is violating you and you need to say something. I've been to many clothing shops when I danced in Toronto and you had to show your dancer liscence to get a discount, and no one ever bothered me, and because we are in this business it doesn't mean anyone should. It's also the vibe you give off. I'm not friendly when I'm in the shops because I don't like being bothered by the sales people in general. If you are confortable with this then fine, but if not you have to learn to say something else you will be in a lot of trouble in this business. I've known dancers who were unable to say no to extras and it really messed them up.

  18. #16
    Senior Member AnotherBruisedPeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    No this wasn't in hollywood. I must sound stupid.

    HE just acted like this was 100 percent normal. I thought I'd seem like a prude if I told him to back off. You know?

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    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    This old asshat was molesting you for free. Wow this guy is a step away from being a damn rapist. When you're off work you should feel off work. He is such a douche! I mean seriously why does he need to show YOU how to do a lap dance? WTF is that? Grabbing your breast and trying to graze you vagina. I bet right after you left he went crazy on his 2incher. Uggh disgusting!

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    Senior Member AnotherBruisedPeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    It's okay. I've dealt with worse in the club. Now I know right?

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    ^Dont feel bad... you are not the one in the wrong. Hes the sick freak. Just stay away from him I say and warn the other girls!!

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    Veteran Member Obenta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    What the fuck?

    Why is ANYONE in the dressing room with you? Why are you disrobing in front of him? No, he shouldn't be watching you or touching you in any way, at all, EVER!

    None of this is normal at all, in fact what he's doing is a crime (sexual battery).

    You're 100% comfortable around this dude? Are you kidding?

    I hope you can understand the "cut of a top" without anyone having to touch your tits to demonstrate... can't you? (If you can't, then try it on and see for yourself!)

    You are UNDER-reacting!

    Just because you are a stripper doesn't mean people "can do or say more".

    Have respect for yourself and demand that others respect you!

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    Veteran Member prettysammie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    OMG ME TOO!
    The guy who claimed to be an owner just tried to walk in while I was changing and "help me" by trying to fucking feel me up. I had to deck him to get him off me!
    I'm scared to shop in Hollywood alone anymore!
    This happened to me once, he didn't touch me, just walked in, and I was so shocked that I just froze and then started screaming at the guy until he left. I thought of a million super witty things to say like 6 months later, but I was just so shocked and scared when it happened I couldn't think of anything.

    It's been long enough now that I can laugh at it a little. Sometimes I have a fantasy where I'm super cool and collected and just say "thanks!" in my most bubbly and happy voice and then start throwing piles of clothes into his arms. I'm naked and changing and he's buried under a cartoon size pile of clothes.

    I'd never do that, because he'd probably just rape me in real life, but it's still funny to think about sometimes.

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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    Fuck those old ass perverts. They're the WORST. I have so many horror stories about the old gnarly fuckers. They make my skin crawl.

    If you like the inventory there, keep shopping there- but I'd extort the shit out of him. Walk in there, and tell him what he did is sexual battery, and if he doesn't want his old rank ass reported for what he tried with you- you get a discount. I would also tell him if he doesn't quit that shit, and doesn't agree to my terms, I'm telling all the other girls I know about his Norman Bates behaviour.

    I'm kind of a ballsy bitch though. At the very least, bring your boyfriend/husband/an awesome guy friend in with you next time to scare him with the evil eye while you shop in peace.

  26. #23
    Senior Member AnotherBruisedPeach's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I an easy target or am I'm just a bit paranoid.

    You know the thing is a lot of sexual predators make their victims feel very comfortable. It's called grooming. I'm well versed when it comes to these kinds of things but he was VERY manipulative. I'm glad he basically he just felt me up and that is it. I should have known better but I've gotten so used to guys groping me in my club (it's HEAVY contact) that I totally lost touch of what is normal and not.

    I mean he was really CONVINCING.
    I'm the type who will never leave her drink alone at a party or let a girlfriend leave with a guy she doesn't know. I always carry mace in my handbag.

    I honestly just felt like he was some eccentric tailor who wanted to make sure everything fit perfectly...

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