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Thread: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

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    Default Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    There's been a couple of surprises when I've gone on dates with guys who initially there wasn't a lot of spark with. I would be upfront with them and tell them I felt a more friend vibe, but I would also tease them and be funny and challenge them to man up a little bit. In both cases, the second date were something quite different than the first in terms of location so I could see them in a different environment. I couldn't say why these two guys worked out to date for awhile, but I guess I can say that I like perseverance in a man. So many guys are wishy washy and expect us to chase them which is a real turn off for me, so if this guy is the type to call you the next day and ask you out, why not? You can always tell him after the end of the first date that you're feeling more of a friend vibe, but perhaps he'll be more comfortable with you the second time around and you'll click more.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    I'd hang out with him as friends, but not go on another date. Then again, I'm one of those "I known within the first fifteen minutes" people. If he was cool though, at least you could get a new buddy out of it.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    First dates can make people pretty nervous, especially if it's with someone who is a relative stranger (not sure what the context of your date was, like if you've known each other for a while or not, sounds like not though), so sometimes they aren't a good indication of what a person is like. However, if you felt absolutely nothing, it might be a waste of time to go out on another date. Of course, you never know. If he was nice enough and you think he's worth a second shot, go for it.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    I think it depends on you and how quickly you are able to gauge whether or not there is chemistry with someone. Personally, I know within minutes if there is a spark. If there isn't, I wouldn't go on a second date because I wouldn't want to lead him on.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    Ugh no thanks! You were already wondering if he's gay. What would be to point of going further? Life is too short to waste it with blah dudes!

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    Fuck no. I have to be attracted to the guy as soon as I lay my eyes on him. If not, I wouldn't even bother getting to know him. Agree with Lacy, life is too short!!

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    No, if I don't feel any kind of physical spark by the end of the first date, I'm outta there. Some of them were genuinely great guys, too, and I'm friends with quite a few of them. One of them was really absolutely gorgeous, too--like REALLY gorgeous, like a Calvin Klein model. He was a geek, too, just like me, but he was worse--our first date he spent like two hours explaining to me why the Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition was so much better than the 3.5. I may be an adamant gamer--I play WoW, Dragon Age, Elder Scrolls, etc., and I was fluent in Tolkien Elvish when I was a teenager (no joke--I really was)...but I do NOT like tabletop gaming, and so the date ended up being a major turn-off for me. With something that would have been such a huge pet peeve, why would I have wasted time for the both of us?

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    Survey says no. I'd tell him that your manager called and wants you to come in. Then, you have a great excuse. If he keeps trying to reschedule... Don't answer the phone. Lol.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    Thats one lesson I'd take to my younger self if they ever invent the time machine... Think of all the nights spent with a blah dude, and what if you had spent that time making money or forwarding your own life? Spending time being 'nice' to someone you aren't into is just cheating yourself, IMHO. You could have worked! Or cleaned the house!

    'Something came up' is a good enough excuse. Or like you said, you 'have' to work or study.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    I married the man that I had no spark with at first. He really liked me so we kept hanging out. Then we tripped on mushrooms and I freaked the fuck out! He held me and comforted me and told me he loved me (I later found out that he was just saying that to calm me down, it worked!). After that incident I looked at him differently. The way he took charge and took care of me meant alot. Needless to say we never really did those again!

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    I would go as long as you weren't repulsed by him. Years ago a friend set me up with a friend of his and I wasn't interested at first. He wasn't my type AT ALL (short, beard, etc). Guess what? I later fell deep and he was the best guy I ever dated. On the other hand I've had romances where the sparks were there instantly and those relationships never lasted. Sometimes chemistry does develop, especially if you are meeting them.

    However, this does differ from being repulsed. If I am repulsed by a guy then no I woudn't go on a second date.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    Then we tripped on mushrooms and I freaked the fuck out! He held me and comforted me and told me he loved me (I later found out that he was just saying that to calm me down, it worked!).

    ^^ Adorable story. Me, I'm a social person per se. I like going out, eating, drinking (less so than a few years ago) and chatting the night away. But when I fall for someone, nobody is more surprised than me.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    Every time I've gone on a date with someone and had second thoughts but stuck around anyways, I've regretted it. One of those guys I ended up dating for a year. The first time I saw him I thought he was really creepy, I guess you could call it a "success," since the misgivings turned into a monogamous relationship, but I was completely miserable with him, and he was a needy, emotionally abusive, immature, insecure, prudish, conservative scumbag.

    Always listen to your intuition. If your gut says something is wrong, then something is wrong. I have never had a bad situation be the result of listening to my gut. And every time I decided NOT to listen to my gut, it's turned out badly sooner or later.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    It's a case by case situation... But if you think you might have a good time, and you go into it KNOWING that there has to be a "spark" this time or it's over... Why not?

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    I would try a second date, but no expectations. He might end up just being a cool (possibly gay) friend...and that would be cool too...you might have fun and it's a free meal and drinks...lol... (if he is paying).

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    My first thought is no, but I might give him a chance since he did make the effort to call for another date. But I would set it for another night, not a prime Saturday night! lol


    tessarubyxoxo: somehow i ended up on SW's homepage.... then i clicked on "forums." & i was in fucking narnia.


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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    Quote Originally Posted by penandink1019 View Post
    ^^ Adorable story. Me, I'm a social person per se. I like going out, eating, drinking (less so than a few years ago) and chatting the night away. But when I fall for someone, nobody is more surprised than me.
    haha... yeah it's a bit of an unconventional love story

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    I have only done so once and I regretted it. The second date was just plain tedious, and it didn't help that she seemed to be head over heels for me to an extent that was way out of proportion to how well she knew me. She kept txting me and I ended up having to be pretty harsh, which I really don't enjoy, and it still didn't stop her completely.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    I don't, but some people like to make sure, so really depends on your level of patience for awkward dates.

    Femme boys make me drool though; the gayer-seeming the better, so you could always send him my way if he fancies a Down under trip ;P.

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    Default Re: Do you go on a Second Date if there was No Spark on the First Date?

    I say give him another shot. Have fun with it, though. Drag him along into your world and see how well he can hang with you. Scare him, see if he runs. Test his limits. You never know, there might be something under the surface worth finding if you dig a little bit. That'll never happen if you just go on a standard dinner date, though.

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