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Thread: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

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    Default Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    First , when you first began to workas a dancer, was it very difficult to make time to see S/O BF/ etc...

    Second, did this cause arguments in the beginning?

    Third, Did priorites such as keeping dinner and breakfast dates not kept?
    Due to starting a dancing job.

    Thank you all , I'm at an impasse, I feel my realtionship is toast unless the above is common occurance.

    Again Thank you

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Dancing did not make it diffcult to see my husband, despite working opposite shifts. I only dance 3 days a week, from 8pm til close. Even counting in driving time, I still see him on days I work at least 3 hours. So 2-3 days a week, I don't see him as much but I still see him. It only causes arguments because my husband doesn't want me to work, period. Doesn't matter the job I have.

    As for dinner or breakfast dates, don't schedule them at a time neither of you can make. be realistic. If you work til 4am, don't set a breakfast date for 9am. Set it right after you get off work, or after you get some sleep. They should still be a priority, unless dancing is your bigger priority.
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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    I live with mine and we keep the same schedule. He just started a new job where he works 3 12 hr shifts and gets 4 days off. His days change every month (ex. he works wed, thur, fri, off sat-tues) usually I try to work the same hours he does.

    Right now the main argument is him playing excessive amounts of video games
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Thank you, I hate video games, I rather concentrate on my GF.

    I dont get it lol

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Seeing my SO was never an issue when I was dancing...in fact, I had MORE time to be around him, because I only worked 3-4 days a week, and I worked the night shift, so I was always free every afternoon until 6, when I had to start getting ready for work. And I was also free for a few hours after I got off work; I rarely went to bed as soon as I got home.

    I agree with papillonluvr about setting realistic times for dates...don't set them like appointments. Just be like, "This weekend I want to go out to dinner sometime." That gives some wiggle-room. Don't be like, "I want to go out to dinner at 7 p.m. on Saturday," and then get pissed when she doesn't go because she has to work. Strip clubs typically have an unusual schedule...not many jobs have shifts that run from like 8 p.m. to 4 a.m. It may take some getting used to.

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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    nope. As much as I could, even if it meant working more, just crappy shifts, made sure I had time for my guy and never missed a date, etc. My favorite thing used to be going to his house for sex right before a day shift. Always made more money on those days, lol.

    An occasional thing that cant be helped is one thing. If it happens a lot, you might need to sit down and have an honest discussion about it. Express how you are feeling, etc. Just don't attack or assume anything.

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    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    First , when you first began to workas a dancer, was it very difficult to make time to see S/O BF/ etc...

    Nope. Not at all. Why would it?

    Second, did this cause arguments in the beginning?

    He supported me 100%.

    Third, Did priorites such as keeping dinner and breakfast dates not kept?
    Due to starting a dancing job.

    Went to bed snuggled next to him every night, woke up together every morning and made sure we had "our" time whenever possible.

    Thank you all , I'm at an impasse, I feel my realtionship is toast unless the above is common occurance.

    Again Thank you
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Bizmor, you seem to worry about your gf A LOT. I suggest you take up a hobby so you aren't thinking about her 24/7. It seems you might be suffocating her, and this is never good. You need a healthy distraction. Maybe join a gym? Take up biking or hiking? Volunteer? Kick ass at your own career?

    Nothing is a bigger turn-off than being needy and insecure. The best thing you can do is find your own goals, and pursue them. That way you both have stories to share at the end of the day.

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Funny you said that,I placed a new post. I admit I do think of her 24/7 .
    We discussed past Sat that being an ass I was pushing her away and I need to chill funny she says you were a lot cooler before I danced.

    Dancers one thing she failed to get us guys take a while to get it. My new post gets to that point. We take it as someone taking somthing from us.

    It can be our GF Love, innocence etc... that what Fcked me up.
    We need assurance thats all.

    I totally agree with the hobby , I have them already and would throw them away for her in a moment.
    You are right to all you guys with girls as dancers, your goal is to do sonmthing to make sure your GF dancing career is Short Term. No offense to all of you here. Anything short of that you dancers should kick their ass out. Am I right here?

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Tempest's new recruit sermon: "I was a stripper before you, I'm gonna be a stripper long after you. Unless you're paying my fucking bills and giving me obscene amounts of money, shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride. "

    I tell this to all my fuckboys
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    If a guy was willing to to drop his hobbies for me i would consider that psycho.

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Quote Originally Posted by shasta View Post
    If a guy was willing to to drop his hobbies for me i would consider that psycho.

    I'd never tell Chris to drop his video game addiction (that's like telling a dog to stop licking his asshole) but I would like it if he cut down.


    but yeah that is kinda creepy if a guy is all about you all the time
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Let me rephrase, Hobbies are just that. Do you think a BF/SO hobby is more important then you?

    Frankly if I has a choice of spendiing time with my GF , or working out one of my hobbies, I would think and say I go with the girlfriend. I can hit the gym another time, but memories with her I cant.

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Passing hobbies are one thing. What you need is a life of your own, one that's not centered around her. Don't be a doormat, no girl will respect you if you constantly bend over backwards for her. The outside interest should be something that makes you more confident and interesting as a partner, not just a simple hobby.

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Hello,
    I understand about the doormat thing,

    What I was refering to is I dont mind not partcipating in a hobby , I have many, put it on the back burner and tend to my GF/SO .

    Is that being a doormat?

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Its being clingy, needy, and whipped. Yes.

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    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.


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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Ya , I think I get the point

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    From reading your posts I think you are way clingy and that's scary to most women. If some guy wanted to see me all the time and gave up his hobbies for me I would assume he had no life.

    Bizmor, just give up this relationship. It's not a real one, she's taking you for a ride. She is 20, you are 48 (which is disturbing on the age gap alread) and you both want dfferent things. She wants you more than likely for what she gets from you and you are giving it to her. Let her go and found someone closer to your own age.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kellydancer View Post
    From reading your posts I think you are way clingy and that's scary to most women. If some guy wanted to see me all the time and gave up his hobbies for me I would assume he had no life.

    Bizmor, just give up this relationship. It's not a real one, she's taking you for a ride. She is 20, you are 48 (which is disturbing on the age gap alread) and you both want dfferent things. She wants you more than likely for what she gets from you and you are giving it to her. Let her go and found someone closer to your own age.
    well put.

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Either that, OR this girl that he is seeing is not caring very much about the relationship (adding to what Kellydancer said about the age difference).

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Ok what happened to all the openmindness.
    Frankly if I was giving her thousands of dollars I agree with you.

    My GF hasnt asked for anything, what I give her is my idea. Has been from the start.

    Ihave discussed with her about the age, she expressed it doesnt bothers her . Here is somethhing to all you Naysayers, her family kool with it.

    Frankly, she has stated I treat her better then any of her past boyfriends that were her age.
    So condem it has you say , but if you take away age whats the big deal?
    By the way what help I think is that I dont look 48 unfit and fat.

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    BTW, we are doing just fine now, thank you for all your insight.

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Even if you look hot at 48 you are still 48! I am 40, don't look it, but still wouldn't date a 20 year old guy. We wouldn't have anything in common.

    Bizmor, you are starting to remind me of the guys your age who do online dating but refuse to date women their age. I laugh at these guys because they are really pathetic. Sure, maybe some of them will find younger women, but for most it means they may find a few women who want a fling, then they end up alone.

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    Default Re: Need More Help from you Ladies. Priorties/ realtionships.

    Quote Originally Posted by bizmor View Post
    Ya , I think I get the point


    Bizmor, dont feel bad I am the female version of you. You see I have hobbies and interests the only things is I enjoy doing them with my bf. I dont enjoy biking by myself(for ex.). I tried that for a while and that got old. I would find myself meeting other people bc my bf at the time was preoccupied with his own life. I am what some of the SW members r accusing u of. I am needy, clingy, etc. I have a few close friends and even them I dont see regularly. I am the type who likes to be w my bf 24-7(except when we r both at work). I would have to say that he doesnt like that. He wants time to do what he wants to do and fights w me bc ultimately he wants his space on the weekends. I ACTUALLY TAKE MY SAT AND SUNS OFF COMPLETELY SO I CAN SPEND TIME WITH HIM. It seems like really he could care less. You see at the beginning of the relationship I made the mistake of working every weekend and he would go to parties w his friends while I was at work. After we became more serious I couldnt take the parties. He would bs in his real-life w girls. As opposed to me bsing with guys for money which isnt the same bc there is no true emotion in it. Just my opinion there. I wont work a late Sat night anymore. He used to live wayyy too much of a party lifestyle and I wanted him to settle down. I couldnt be serious w someone who lived like he used to. I dont mind him working on something he needs to around the house or taking care of things he needs to get done on the weekends, but during the week we virtually do nothing thats enjoyable. I dont think I am asking too much to be taken out to dinner once on the weekend, or going to a movie etc...Thats what ur supposed to do if u r n a relationship with someone. Some guys dont get the concept of if u make the woman happy, ultimately u will be happy. I would prefer to be with a clingy person like myself. Then I wouldnt feel so unwanted.

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