View Poll Results: Are you "Out" to your loved ones?

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  • Yes ; I love what i do , Im independent , and i wouldn't care if they cared.

    16 42.11%
  • No ; I just cant , seeing the disappointed look in my family's eyes would hurt to bad.

    22 57.89%
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Thread: Are you "Out''?

  1. #1
    Featured Member BuffyFlame's Avatar
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    Default Are you "Out''?

    Sometimes it can be hard to admit what you do, Not necessarily because you are ashamed/embarrassed , Just because the fear of the unusual is sometimes to scary.
    Americanmade18 on most sites.

  2. #2
    Featured Member BuffyFlame's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    My father , hahaha
    Picture an older Hank Hill lmao
    He use to be a wild biker , and my mother was too
    so there pretty down, lmao , My father actuallys knows
    some of the woman at the "dive" club closest to me.
    haha but when i told him i was going to try and be a "bartender" there
    He FLIPPED
    Americanmade18 on most sites.

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  4. #3
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    Nope never did. Once my parents suspected it because they found out I was working at a club. Told them I was waitressing and left it at that. If they ever knew they would think I was a hooker. Even now sometimes when my dad is mad at me he'll bring it up saying something about me working in a strip club "in the past". Otherwise I kept it from them. I would never tell many people, including long time friends and possibly even a future husband (though ironically my last boyfriend was a former regular from almost 17 years ago).

  5. #4
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I told my parents when I started waitressing at a strip club (I've hinted that I'm a stripper now, but I've never officially told them), and most of my friends know, but I keep it a secret from almost everyone else. My boyfriend is terrified of his family finding out, because they're really conservative and religious, and I'm planning on going to med school, so I feel like I should keep it a secret.

    Being judged and gossiped about really does bother me. I'd rather just play the sweet & innocent card, than admit to being a professional naked girl.

  6. #5
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    My mom knows. She doesn't approve of me being with my boyfriend for love. I should be using this as a stepping stone a la Anna Nicole Smith to bag a rich old fart and fill the family coffers like my aunt.

    I don't talk to my real dad
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I don't talk to my dad either, but everybody in my family knows other than my grandfather. I think someone told him, because he asked me if I was a gogo dancer and I said no even though he seemed kind of okay with it. Sort of like he knows my aunt is a lesbian and is fine with it as long as it isn't talked about... lol

  8. #7
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I wouldn't mind them being disappointed in me. My parents would feel guilty that they couldn't provide well enough for me and that I had to resort to something like stripping. I don't want them carrying the guilt for my adult decisions. I could do a straight edge job, but I don't want one.



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  10. #8
    Veteran Member aqua's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I just tell people I'm self-employed via promoting things online, modeling, and authoring. I don't care about my friends knowing (they do), but it would be a disadvantage socially to have many people find out. I wouldn't feel shame as much as annoyance at their subsequent behavior; I'm not at all ashamed of what I do. I'm proud of being in touch with my sexuality and using it to my advantage- but a lot of people have fallen for our Judeo-Christian culture's flawed belief that women in touch with their sexuality are somehow evil or dirty, rather than powerful and in harmony with nature. I wouldn't want them to find out because it would be disadvantageous for me. I don't keep it a secret for emotional reasons.

  11. #9

    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I tried to hide it from my family for a while but then it became hard to explain the jaguar and the lake house on waitress pay...

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  13. #10
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    This is one I struggle with a bit. Some people know, some others have found out (so I hear behind my back lol how disappointed they are) I don't mind most of my friends knowing, it's just the whole stigma attached to it.

    I seem to avoid most social situations where people start talking about the whole 'what do you do for a living?' thing.

    I need a cover job

  14. #11
    Featured Member BuffyFlame's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I have ALWAYS said i owned a website , and people pay me to put banners on it lmao
    Americanmade18 on most sites.

  15. #12
    Veteran Member phoenixxxrising's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I told some family & friends a long time ago that I was going to be a dancer and they all thought I was joking and were like "yeah right" So I decided when I actually started dancing that I wasn't going to tell them.

    I'm not ashamed to tell people its just that other people's opinions can cause unnecessary drama and arguments that in the end do very little good for anyone.

  16. #13
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    So far I've just been telling everyone that I work in customer relations haha

  17. #14
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    Papa's gone, but if he were alive there is NO WAY IN HELL I'd let him know.

    The family knows. They also know about my love of visiting professional dominatrixes. yaaaay

    A few friends know from my old consrvatory. They treat me like a character, they ask me about the men.... meh.
    Boyfriend knows.
    Last edited by The Contessa; 03-29-2011 at 09:31 AM.

  18. #15
    Featured Member sananeko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I don't hide it. If they ask I tell them, simple as that.

  19. #16
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    Ha! I always compare my dad to Hank Hill, too.
    Seriously, though... if I told my parents what I was doing... they would probably either A. Send me enough money to move back home while I found a real job B. Send me enough money to pay my bills while I found a real job. They wouldn't freak out or be mad... they'd just be SO disappointed that I didn't just ask for help so that I didn't have to do something like that. They'd probably both cry, too... and possibly stop talking to me for a while after helping me out of this situation.
    THIS EXACTLY. My parents would react just like that.

  20. #17
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I'm out to everybody, except people in school, my mom, and younger brother. However, my hubby, friends, and inlaws all know that I dance and have no problem with it whatsoever.

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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    Quote Originally Posted by BuffyFlame View Post
    I have ALWAYS said i owned a website , and people pay me to put banners on it lmao
    What if they ask what site/s you own? lol.. People can be soooo nosey!!

    I've said that I work moderating different sites etc but most seem to think i'm doing something illegal or wrong haha.

  22. #19
    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I'm out. I have been out to my parents since 19. It wasn't hard for me because I my mom is understanding and I was never close to my dad anyway.

  23. #20
    God/dess JayATee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    Yes and no. My friends, sister, some family and bf all know what I do. My parents don't.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

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  24. #21
    Featured Member lifetravelergirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    I told my parents I was dancing. They oppressed me all my life and I enjoyed making them squirm. Actually I told them separately and was like, "Please don't tell Dad/Mom." So they each thought they had to keep it a secret from the other. I love my parents and we get along etc., they gave me my sadistic streak.

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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    Yes & No. All of my close friends know and don't care. 2 of my ex'es (that I dated before dancing) know and do not care. My brother told my parents. My Mom has actually been quite supportive after her whole "don't fall into the drug and prostitution trap" speal- we had a long talk and I explained that I'm doing it to get out of debt and afford the things I want. Now she is trying to help me manage my money, figure out what I have to do for taxes, etc. My Dad isn't in love with the idea but understands why. Now...my Mom's parents on the other hand. I got fired from my day job over dancing (my gram owns it) and I haven't spoken to her since. Apparently I'm below my family for being a dirty stripper and if I do so long enough I'll become a drug addict. Whatever floats her boat.

  27. #23
    God/dess Zofia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    My mom thought/thinks that stripping was my way of rebelling against her. The fact that it pissed her off made telling her even that much more delightful.

    Z

  28. #24
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    No. Only the people I was dating and one male friend really knew. I told my best friend ( female ) only two months ago, got a bad reaction , and realized that is why I stayed hidden. I just didn't make enough money all in all ( I mean, enough to pay down credit cards , but not a TON over YEARS ) . I just felt it was worth it to stay on the down low and not catch shit for it, but hiding dancing IS STRESSFUL.

  29. #25
    Veteran Member Sia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Are you "Out''?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    but hiding dancing IS STRESSFUL.
    It really is. That and I'm also a horrible horrible liar. I hid it for about a month when I first started, but decided it wasn't worth the stress. My parents, in-laws, and close relatives know. It doesn't help that I now dance in my hometown.....kind of hard to keep it a secret.

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