
Originally Posted by
mediocrity
not so much of a come back, but one night there was this really freaky dude who would instantly assume too much familiarity and put his hand down the back of the girls' dresses, would only buy them one drink, and wore a fucking beret and some long coat trying to be all stylin' when he was really a cheap creeper. I sat down at the table directly beside him, propped my feet up on another chair, and said audibly to my girl friend:
"See that fucking freakazoid right there? Look at him buying drinks but can't afford to tip or buy dances. What a sick pathetic old fuck... he's so desperate he can't even touch himself." I went on for about two minutes, her laughing hysterically, until he left.
Some old guy on my day before retirement, took two finger, tapped me on the crotch and went "BEEP BEEP!!". He was with two friends who were horrified and i saw red. I calmly sat down, looked at the friend who had bought a dance and said "Look. I can see your old drunk ass friend there isn't sincerely a jack ass, he's just wasted. So here's the deal. You're going to pay me $40 to not flip the fuck out, OR I am going to pay that bouncer over there $20 to deal with you. What's it going to be- pay me and leave voluntarily, or would you like me to get the bouncer?"
They paid me the $40 and scurried out of there.
Dancing nude in Atlanta:
Customer: "Wow, you have a nice clit! Does it work?"
Me: "No, it's in the shop."
Customer: "You're a bitch, and a whore, I didn't want you anyway."
Me: "You're fat, and I didn't want you in the first place."
Customer: "You can't touch me!" (After I grabbed his cheeks and squeezed him into a fish face for trying to lick me)
Me: "Sure I can. I have more money and more insurance than you."
Bartending in New Orleans:
Fat Drunk Frat Boys: "Yeeeeaaaah pussy and titties!! Bitches!!" (NOLA is topless only)
Me: "Yeeeeeeah fat man titties ON pussies! Get the fuck out my bar!"
I then bounced a plastic cup off of one of their heads.
I could go on for ages.
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