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Thread: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    I AM NOT AGREEING with the Toronto Constable and I AM NOT BLAMING THE VICTIM, but I do think that with regards specifically to date rape or rape at a party (woman gets drunk at a party and some asshole takes her to his place and rapes her), provocative clothing might excite some latent predators and increase your chances of rape.

    By "latent predator" - I mean the guy who is not a street rapist, but is a date rapist. He is not out on the street prowling for victims, but when he is on a date and the situation gets intimate and hot, he becomes very sexually aggressive and will not stop. He thinks all girls are "sluts" (specially the ones that dress like it) and that "no" really means "yes, take me". Many of these guys are "clean" looking, appear "normal", and are popular and "smooth" with women. There were guys like this at my college. (I learned about them talking to their victims.)

    Again, I'm NOT BLAMING THE VICTIM, no woman is "asking" to be raped, even if she's running around completely naked or giving guys on the street free lap dances. But, as you women in the industry know - certain situations, unfortunately, do increase your chances of coming face-to-face with a sexual predator.

    Did I stress that I AM NOT BLAMING THE VICTIM... (Certain instigators on this forum will do their best to argue that I am.) If I go out at night to an ATM machine, this might increase my chances of being mugged, but I have every right to visit the ATM machine whenever I need to or want to. Likewise, a woman has every right to dress as she pleases (within the limits of the law).

    i think i understand what he is trying to say here. he isn't blaming the victim at all or saying that if rape happens to a scantily-clad woman she is at fault. he is saying that there are certain things you can do that INCREASE your RISK of being sexually assaulted and i don't see how anyone can say this isn't true. I mean we can all agree that the high heeled girl wearing a scantily-clad outfit on a chicago street corner at 3 am in the morning, walking alone, is at a higher risk than the girl who is playing it more low-key, not attracting a lot of attention from visually stimulated thugs, and only travels with friends when its daylight. Its sad that its the way the world works but it is and not all the time, but in certain situations the way you dress, as well as other precautions, can without a doubt increase your vulnerablility to an attack. Does that make the victim or the way she chooses to dress at fault for the heinous crime? No. Does this mean that the victim is less of a victim? Hell no, and that's not what jacko was trying to say. There is a difference between slutty fashions "increasing" the risk and them or the victim being at fault for it.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by AngelCummings View Post
    i think i understand what he is trying to say here. he isn't blaming the victim at all or saying that if rape happens to a scantily-clad woman she is at fault. he is saying that there are certain things you can do that INCREASE your RISK of being sexually assaulted and i don't see how anyone can say this isn't true. I mean we can all agree that the high heeled girl wearing a scantily-clad outfit on a chicago street corner at 3 am in the morning, walking alone, is at a higher risk than the girl who is playing it more low-key, not attracting a lot of attention from visually stimulated thugs, and only travels with friends when its daylight. Its sad that its the way the world works but it is and not all the time, but in certain situations the way you dress, as well as other precautions, can without a doubt increase your vulnerablility to an attack. Does that make the victim or the way she chooses to dress at fault for the heinous crime? No. Does this mean that the victim is less of a victim? Hell no, and that's not what jacko was trying to say. There is a difference between slutty fashions "increasing" the risk and them or the victim being at fault for it.
    I agree. I have seen women wearing outfits that were NOT appropriate outside. In fact they were WORSE than I've seen at clubs I danced at. For instance I know that as a woman I have to take precautions and will not dress slutty at places I shouldn't.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    4) Going out at night (to a party, club, bar, visit a friend etc.) increases your chances of being mugged or raped - but, I am not suggesting people shouldn't ever go out at night, nor I am suggesting that by merely going out at night, you deserve to be mugged or raped.
    How do you know? According to the article below, 80 percent of all rapes occur in the home.

    http://www.barcc.org/information/facts/stats

    If the statistics are accurate, going out at night does not increase your chance of being raped.

    Quote Originally Posted by jack0177057 View Post
    People who blame the victim are ignorant, but it is also ignorant to say I am blaming the victim merely because I am pointing out that provocative dressing may increase your risks of unwanted attention from a sexual predator. Many things we do (and that we have every right to do) involve risks - risks have to be understood and managed. I am not saying we should live in fear, terrorized by criminals, and avoiding all risks - by locking ourselves up at home and never leaving. (Even then, you are increasing your chances of a home accident.)
    How do you know this? What studies have you done on the matter?

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    The fact that we're still having this argument in the 21st century disgusts me. I don't see how these people don't understand that bringing dress into the debate IS blaming the victim, because it's saying that by dressing "slutty," the victim is partially, if not completely, responsible for the crime. And why would any man be okay with this argument? It's basically saying that some men are incapable of controlling their "baser urges" and when they see some hot chick dressed in sexy clothes, they can't help raping her. Really? REALLY? I mean, I know a lot of men can't keep it in their pants, but seriously, that has nothing to do with rape. When men bring up this argument, I assume that they themselves have that reaction--that when they see a hot chick in the mall, they're like, "Oh, man, that skirt is so short I should follow her to her car and rape her." Because I seriously cannot understand why ANYBODY, male or female, would believe this argument about "slutty" clothing and rape.
    The problem is, people are making statements based on their own personal views, rather than any facts or evidence.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    So if women started dressing more conservatively there would be less rape?
    Sorry, I just don't buy that.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    There are plenty of things women can do to lower their chances of being raped. Taking care of what and how much they drink, being careful of who they go home with, making the right location choices for dates with people they don't know well. The way they dress is not in any way shape or form part of that discussion.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    How do you know? According to the article below, 80 percent of all rapes occur in the home.


    How do you know this? What studies have you done on the matter?
    It's more like 50% occur within a mile of the home.

    Are you honestly gonna stand there and tell me you don't think that a person can get more or less attention based on their dress? Increased attention increases your danger level.

    And that isn't just relegated to provocative clothing, a fur coat or a really nice suit can have the same affect.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by sierra. View Post
    So if women started dressing more conservatively there would be less rape?
    Sorry, I just don't buy that.
    I don't think anyone on this board has said that.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by jester214 View Post
    I don't think anyone on this board has said that.
    OMG, then why bring it up?

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    The problem is, people are making statements based on their own personal views, rather than any facts or evidence.
    I really appreciate this perspective, and encourage it. I would caution against the specific way you have expressed it, however. It is a slippery slope when you believe only what a study or experiment reports. You almost imply that personal experience is not useful in identifying trends or making decisions, and that a study's findings trumps all. Studies are fallible, and it's not uncommon that they don't extrapolate well beyond the study parameters. Now, I am not asserting that this particular study is inaccurate, and I find it beneficial to call for source materials and concrete evidence in certain types of discussions, but I wouldn't automatically disregard what other people say because it is based on personal experience.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    There are plenty of things women can do to lower their chances of being raped. Taking care of what and how much they drink, being careful of who they go home with, making the right location choices for dates with people they don't know well. The way they dress is not in any way shape or form part of that discussion.
    Why do you assert so strongly that clothing style has absolutely no effect on whether somebody will be raped?

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    ^The vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows, i.e. an SO or ex, a close friend, or a family member. Stranger rape is relatively rare. So if the rapist personally knows the victim, why would dress factor into the equation? If that was the case, the only women being raped would be young, hot strippers or models. You wouldn't have coma patients and elderly nursing home residents being sexually assaulted, and that's actually frighteningly common.

    They have done studies of the brain of the perpetrators of sexual assaults, and they KNOW that the area of the brain that lights up is NOT the area that normally lights up during sex. Sexual desire isn't a factor during a rape, because rape is about CONTROL, and taking that control away from the victim. If sexual arousal isn't a factor in rape, why the hell would "slutty dress" be a factor?

    I think a lot of people are so afraid of the idea of rape and having that control taken from them, that they need to convince themselves that there are ways to decrease their chances of becoming a victim. And sure, there are ways. Don't drink from a glass that someone else has given you; never get drunk when you're around other people; don't get in a car with a guy you don't know that well. But the best way, since you're so much more likely to be raped by someone you know, is to become a hermit and live in a shack out in the middle of the woods.

    Dressing more modestly? Sorry. Won't help. If that was the case, I would have been raped after I started stripping, and had a wicked hot body and started wearing sexier, tighter clothes. Instead, I was raped when I was 20 and dressed (in retrospect) in rather dowdy clothing, and my body wasn't as tight and toned as it was later.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by AngelCummings View Post
    i think i understand what he is trying to say here. he isn't blaming the victim at all or saying that if rape happens to a scantily-clad woman she is at fault. he is saying that there are certain things you can do that INCREASE your RISK of being sexually assaulted and i don't see how anyone can say this isn't true. I mean we can all agree that the high heeled girl wearing a scantily-clad outfit on a chicago street corner at 3 am in the morning, walking alone, is at a higher risk than the girl who is playing it more low-key, not attracting a lot of attention from visually stimulated thugs, and only travels with friends when its daylight. Its sad that its the way the world works but it is and not all the time, but in certain situations the way you dress, as well as other precautions, can without a doubt increase your vulnerablility to an attack. Does that make the victim or the way she chooses to dress at fault for the heinous crime? No. Does this mean that the victim is less of a victim? Hell no, and that's not what jacko was trying to say. There is a difference between slutty fashions "increasing" the risk and them or the victim being at fault for it.
    Thank you, AngelCummings.

    Its like driving a nice luxury convertible car and wearing a nice watch and nice clothes. (Not in a flashy way.) I have every right to do these things and the fact that there are many assholes criminals in this world is not going to stop me from enjoying the things I am blessed with and have a right to enjoy. But, at the same time, I have to be cognizant of the fact that these things may draw the attention of robbers and muggers. I take certain precautions, like avoiding certain neighborhoods, being watchful of suspicious characters, possessing a defense weapon, etc.

    If, instead, I drove an old beat-up Ford Escort and wore a $20 Casio watch and Wal-Mart brand jeans, would that eliminate all risks of getting mugged? No. I'd have a lower risk, but the risk is not completely eliminated. BUT, DESPITE THE LOWER RISK, I AM NOT GOING TO DO THIS. I am not going to let criminals dictate what I drive and how I dress.

    By just being a female you're already at risk from sexual predators. By being a beautiful woman you have a higher risk. By being a beautiful sexy woman that dresses very sexy you have an even higher risk.

    Again -- I love hot women who dress sexy... I want them to keep dressing sexy... and to be safe.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 04-07-2011 at 12:43 PM.
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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    jack, I love you, but why do you even enter these rape threads?!!

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    ^The vast majority of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows, i.e. an SO or ex, a close friend, or a family member. Stranger rape is relatively rare. So if the rapist personally knows the victim, why would dress factor into the equation? If that was the case, the only women being raped would be young, hot strippers or models.
    Some girls I went to college with were raped by guys they dated or by a guy in a party, when the girl was drunk. They were targeted because of their looks - which includes both their attractiveness and how they dress. Obviously, if you are hot and dress hot, you are going to receive more attention.

    Also, there is very inciteful book: Fast Girls: Teenage Tribes And The Myth Of The Slut by Emily White. She talks about why some girls get the "slut" label attached to them. Sometimes, it just has to do with their bodies developing a little faster than other girls. But, another reason may be how they dress. Ironically, it is other women who are most often the perpetrators of affixing this label to a woman. The book accounts the stories of many women who were sexually assaulted in large part because of the "slut" label. The author does not blame the victims, she sympathizes with them. But, two points that comes across are: (1) the "slut" label carries with it a very high level of risk, and (2) one thing that causes a woman to get this label is that she dresses sexy - and very often, it is other women that place this label on her (probably less attractive and jealous women). This book is about young women, so maybe its not so applicable to women over 21.
    Last edited by jack0177057; 04-07-2011 at 12:50 PM.
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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    jack, I love you, but why do you even enter these rape threads?!!
    I love you, too... Its a serious matter I care about. If I am wrong about something, I want WOMEN to tell me that. I'll listen. (I only pretend to know everything... Really, I listen...)
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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Because it has NOTHING to do with the rapist's desire to control and defile.

    NOTHING WHATSOEVER.

    It's about the sex. He's right, we should stop dressing like sluts,; we're asking for it.
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by sierra. View Post
    So if women started dressing more conservatively there would be less rape?
    Sorry, I just don't buy that.

    not necessarily, but there would possibly be more rape if everyone went around dressing like sluts. make sense?

    ive found personally that the more "sexy" i dress, the more agressive men get.

    and when i was raped i happened to be wearing very tight clothing and a low cut blouse, so i almost feel like i'm at fault or at least, that's how i was made to feel. maybe it was a coincidence though, i don't know

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    ^^^ I think the issue here is the misconception that if you dress like a slut, you'll get raped.

    The point is, what the guy said was not only wrong, but insensitive and ignorant.

    There will always be rape, so long as there are fucked up men willing to do it. Regardless of how the victim dresses.
    Quote Originally Posted by lagirl View Post
    Those housewives need to stop being vain lushes and making us look like criminals

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by Mindy Bares All View Post
    ^^^ I think the issue here is the misconception that if you dress like a slut, you'll get raped.

    The point is, what the guy said was not only wrong, but insensitive and ignorant.

    There will always be rape, so long as there are fucked up men willing to do it. Regardless of how the victim dresses.
    well i think it's the whole "actions speak louder than words" thing that comes into play. obviously when someone says no they mean no, but some guys don't seem to believe that if the way a girl acts and dresses says she is open for business. and for the record, men aren't the only ones who rape, women rape people too, just saying lol. but you are right, i definitely agree that rape is a seemingly inevitable crime, but I still believe that acting and dressing a certain way can increase awareness of you on a rapist's radar and i feel like my situation could have been prevented if i had been less naive and hadn't been out in a tight outfit by myself
    '

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    ^ I'm sorry that happened to you. You have every right to dress how you want and that should never be a factor in a crime. I hope the bastard is in jail.

    Quote Originally Posted by sierra. View Post
    So if women started dressing more conservatively there would be less rape?
    Sorry, I just don't buy that.
    That's not the answer. - That would be subjecting yourself to a life of fear and hopelessnes and letting criminal dictate how you dress.

    It would be like giving in to terrorists... We don't give in to terrorists.

    Society needs to protect women better. This may involve more surveilance cameras, better detection and prosecution of sexual predators, medication and other procedures to eradicate sexual desires in sexual predators, better tracking and surveilance of released sexual predators, more decoy undercover police women, etc.
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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Why don't we stop blaming the victims and focus on the real problem: the offenders! How about making a rapist serve more than just a few years in prison. How about mandatory castration for convicted rapists? Oh but that would harm the precious rapists...let's give them therapy and put them back on the streets.

    Enough with this what was she wearing shit.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by UV69 View Post
    Most men can just learn to control their hormones when they see female flesh instead of acting like they have some right to force a girl into sex over how she is dressed.
    This. Also a bit about what firemaiden was talking about. Though people nailed it on the head before, regarding the behavior of a rapist: it doesn't matter what the victim is wearing or NOT wearing. It is also not about sex. It's about power and control. Most likely a rapist has been abused in his/her past and is replaying the role of their abusers' from the past (in order to re-establish his/her control over their life).

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    OMG, then why bring it up?
    Because it all goes back to the whole "OMG did you just say something that I can remotely construe as blaming the victim!!!" mentality. Which I consider to be dangerous in the long run.

    But seriously, if delusional shit head guys out there can convince themselves that "her clothes were asking for it", doesn't that alone suggest that it can have an affect?

    Walking alone in a parking garage at night will not automatically get you assaulted. Never walking alone in a parking garage will not keep you from being assaulted. But it is still dangerous, and something to be aware of so that you can take whatever extra precaution. (Something like 10% of sexual assaults happen in parking garages). I beleive dress is, to a lesser degree, the same way.

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    Default Re: If you don't want to be raped, don't dress like a slut!

    If people didn't immediately bring up how women dress in every rape thread it wouldn't happen, and since we are all in agreement we shouldn't let rapists dictate how women dress i am completely befuddled why some neanderthal ALWAYS has to bring it up.

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