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Thread: Suffocating!

  1. #1
    Member Mollytov's Avatar
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    Default Suffocating!

    I've been dancing for almost 2 months now, and like it. I'm wondering if it's affecting me in ways I'm not consciously aware of though.

    My husband and I separated 3 years ago but continued to sort of "date" up until 6 months ago, when we finally gave up on it. That's been a HUGE weight off my shoulders, but I still can't afford to get the divorce done. He's no help; he's awful with money and still borrows from me.

    I have a new boyfriend, whom I love dearly but he was my roommate already, so suddenly it's this very intense live-in situation. He's 10 years younger than me (just turned 21, yikes!) and while he's very mature he's also on the clingy side. I've always been an introvert who requires a lot of personal space and he wants to spend every minute together. He also doesn't really approve of my job, so I can't talk to him about work stuff.

    Between work, the ex, and the boyfriend, I feel like I never get a minute alone, away from men who want something from me and I'm freaking out. I can't even put my finger on why; I don't *feel* unhappy but I started crying this morning when the boyfriend touched me.

    I wonder if it has something to do with having my first real sleazebag customer yesterday -- he was very grabby and demanding, and said disgusting things to me during the two dances he bought. It was the first time this job has made me feel dirty.

    Is it just that I'm having no time/personal space to process all this? What should I do?

    Thanks for listening to the vent.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Moon Sprite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Suffocating!

    ~hugs~ I feel the same way you do about personal space. I get upset and very bitchy if I don't have time alone. Even if things are crazy at my house I set aside an hour where I just go alone soak in the bathtub,listen to music. You can't let those grabby,sleazy guys get to you. What I did with clients like that when dancing just think of what you're buying with their money. With guys like that I would set the money aside separate from the rest and buy something for myself or treat myself to getting my nails done or a pedicure and say yeah you were an asshole but your money just bought me whatever and I feel great.
    "Don't cry when the sun is gone because the tears won't let you see the stars." Violeta Parra

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