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Thread: Throwing off a girl's hustle

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    Senior Member Montrealais's Avatar
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    Default Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Curious to hear both customer and dancer opinions.

    When a girl starts with the usual openers (once introductions are done with, I mean) I tend to try and derail the train as it were. I mean, I'm not really interested in talking about where I'm from, what my job is, or asking her the usual rote questions either, and if I get bored with it I can't imagine someone who approaches a zillion guys a week is too enthralled with it either.

    So I'll toss a friendly curve-ball. Tell the girl I'm an astronaut whose been suspended for trying to sneak a girl into the space shuttle, or reply to one of those openers with something like "do you really want to have that small talk? Tell me what you think of (such and such a dancer, or some weird looking patron, or whatever) instead."

    Sure, it's still just the flirting before it's time to find a tiny little booth with an uncomfortable chair, but on top of not wanting to go over the same old boring lines I also like to see how a girl handles suddenly changing gears. The ones who have fun with it tend, in my experience, to be the ones I most enjoy dances from.

    Note, I in no way mean this with a rude or disparaging attitude. Not trying to embarrass or anything, just make things a bit more interesting.

    How do you feel about the usual script, and throwing it out the window, ladies and fellow perverts?

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    I think it's funny if handled right - the only problem is that throwing off a girl's hustle is a common PUA technique that can send red flags flying for a smart dancer.

    If a custie tries to throw off my hustle, I'll play along - but I count songs. If I haven't been able to bring the conversation back around to dances in 3ish songs, the PUA flags fly high and I'm outta there.
    "The mood is important. You can't get a lady with force.
    ...sweet things alone are not enough. Seduce me with more fire."

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by MissMynxx View Post
    I think it's funny if handled right - the only problem is that throwing off a girl's hustle is a common PUA technique that can send red flags flying for a smart dancer.

    If a custie tries to throw off my hustle, I'll play along - but I count songs. If I haven't been able to bring the conversation back around to dances in 3ish songs, the PUA flags fly high and I'm outta there.
    Hmm, good to know. I didn't mean it in the tragically stereotypical "cocky-funny" crap way, because I'm not trying to pick her up. (And I think I'm pretty obviously not, but what do I know about my own body language?)

    On the other hand, I do enjoy time flirting and such quite a bit, which is why I tend to go off-hours and favor quieter clubs, since there's a good chance the place will be pretty dead when I go. Don't have to deal with a rowdy crowd, and a better chance that a dancer won't mind spending some time at the table, since she isn't losing a cent by doing so.

    (I will note that I make sure to let her know, if she's interested me enough to want to sit and flirt with, that I will be asking her to dance, and that if she's missing a chance to hustle someone else first, please don't be shy about taking it, I'll still be here.)

    So hopefully that doesn't come across as PUA or cheapskate wasting girl's time. Given that I can't recall the last time a girl got up and lost interest (ie decided that I wasn't going to be worth the time), and that I'd like to think that, in an empty club, I'm more interesting than staring at the tacky decor, plus decor won't pay for drinks, I'm fairly confident that I don't come across the wrong way, but maybe I'm failing some girls' screening without knowing it/them approaching me (or not coming back after a "not yet, but later for sure" type comment).

    Thanks for the insight!

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    My hustle don't get thrown. Not now in sales, not then in stripping. I've always been fast on my feet. Not everyone is cut out for it though. Personally, a change in the norm is refreshing, I'm very ADHD and get bored easily.

    Why are you asking these questions though? Just talk about what you want. Its all part of the game, part of the flirtation. You'll figure out which girls are more introverted and inexperienced pretty soon. But if she's hot and sweet, yet can't keep up with your banter, will you turn her away?

    Everyone has their own idea of entertainment. From your posts so far though, I would fucking bankrupt you and you would love every minute, hehehe.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by KS_Stevia View Post
    My hustle don't get thrown. Not now in sales, not then in stripping. I've always been fast on my feet. Not everyone is cut out for it though. Personally, a change in the norm is refreshing, I'm very ADHD and get bored easily.

    Why are you asking these questions though? Just talk about what you want. Its all part of the game, part of the flirtation. You'll figure out which girls are more introverted and inexperienced pretty soon. But if she's hot and sweet, yet can't keep up with your banter, will you turn her away?

    Everyone has their own idea of entertainment. From your posts so far though, I would fucking bankrupt you and you would love every minute, hehehe.
    If she's hot and sweet, I especially don't want her to feel like she has to run through the same old script with me! I'm not trying to "break" girls, just have a slightly more real, by which I mean spontaneous, conversation than the pre-programmed ones.

    And as for you, you sound like you'd definitely get my attention. But I keep to my pre-determined spending limits. You'd just get all of that. So there!

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Are you talking about things that are true like real stories or are you just trying to entertain her? We know when a customer is making up b/s stories just to get us off the topic of dances..

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    Senior Member Montrealais's Avatar
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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Trying to entertain both of us, though could be true or made up. Might have been missed in previous posts but I am emphatically not trying to avoid dances, I make it clear at the start that there will be dances. I just enjoy the socializing and (also mentioned earlier, or in other threads) I tend to go when the club is dead, so she's not missing any money-making opportunities if she chooses to chat.

    I am in no way trying to hustle a dancer, be a cheapskate, or otherwise avoid dances.

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    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Your OP assumes that a "hustle" is scripted -

    What is your name?
    What do you do?
    Where are you from?

    For some girls I suppose that is their hustle. My hustle assumes that guys don't want to make small talk in that way either. I prefer to approach guys with anecdotes, more obscure questions and the like.

    In my opinion, a good entertainer will be relieved that you are interested in buying dances and actually having fun. I can see why you would want someone other than a stripper-bot commited to a script.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    I assume that some are, yes, and that even otherwise fun girls can fall into bad habits in such an environment, seeing a zillion guys and having to chat with each, it must get repetitive.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    it depends on what a guy is saying. the things you mentioned, i'd enjoy and continue chatting a bit to see where it's headed.

    i really hate it when guys want to talk about something "smart", because i have a hard time acting stupid when i care so much about so many "smart" subjects. most guys don't go to clubs for the emasculating experience of having an intellectual conversation with me.

    if it's just silly stuff, that can be a lot of fun.
    -love everyone but keep them far from your soul-

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    I don't believe that an intelligent woman is in any way emasculating. And if she's as or smarter than I am, as or more experienced, as or better educated, etc., then sign me up please!

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    It depends on your delivery...you could either be coming off as a total jerk or just playful. Either way, a good dancer would know how capitalize on your remark. Personally, I'd just act really surprised and tell you that the girl you tried to sneak on the shuttle is working tonight and is my bff...then get some double dances out of you!!

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by Montrealais View Post
    When a girl starts with the usual openers (once introductions are done with, I mean) I tend to try and derail the train as it were. I mean, I'm not really interested in talking about where I'm from, what my job is, or asking her the usual rote questions either, and if I get bored with it I can't imagine someone who approaches a zillion guys a week is too enthralled with it either.
    Actually, the opening exchange tells me a lot about the type of girl I am dealing with, so I take the opposite approach and let their hustles unfold. I may do a little subtle prodding, but for the most part I want them to be comfortable in dealing with me. I also have my own pre-packaged responses to a variety of questions, and their subsequent reactions provide me with a lot of insight. Then, with intel in hand, I can decide how to proceed.

    Besides, there are a lot of dancers in the clubs that I visit that would probably not react well to that approach. At the very least, they would assume that you are screwing around with them (and not in a good way).

    Anyway, just my
    Last edited by rickdugan; 04-10-2011 at 05:00 AM.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Besides, there are a lot of dancers in the clubs that I visit that would probably not react well to that approach. At the very least, they would assume that you are screwing around with them (and not in a good way).

    Anyway, just my
    Yeah, as mentioned, I tend to prefer times and clubs where it's quiet, and the girl isn't losing money by spending a bit of time, and I don't know, I guess I'm just believable when I say "dances soon, chat a bit now, not time-wastey-no-dance jerk" or something?

    I'd never do this sort of thing if I found myself out of my element, like in a busy, loud sort of place.

    Quote Originally Posted by BringOnTheMen View Post
    I really like the smartass guys. I wouldn't really call them "throwing off my hustle," since I can immediately get on their level and fire back a few witty retorts, developing a much deeper connection than other custies.
    EXACTLY!

    Quote Originally Posted by drewcifer View Post
    It depends on your delivery...you could either be coming off as a total jerk or just playful. Either way, a good dancer would know how capitalize on your remark. Personally, I'd just act really surprised and tell you that the girl you tried to sneak on the shuttle is working tonight and is my bff...then get some double dances out of you!!
    Ack! You would so own me...

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    If a dancer is laying the hustle on a little too fast and heavy I tell her I've been going to SCs since before she was born.

    This backfired on me once, after saying this to a dancer she then started asking me questions about what us 'older' guys like to see and hear from dancers. I should have told her to read stripperweb.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Well what exactly are we suppose to say when we first approach you? I would like to know the customer's name so that if he were to spend alot of money and return to the club to see me I'd like to remember and know his name. Where are you from lets me know if you're an out of towner which usually means $$$$ or a local who has been there before etc... I think these questions are good openers and tend to lead to better conversation. However, from your posts it seems that yes, you may buy a few dances but you'd rather come in on a dead night and talk to the strippers for free. It doesn't matter that there's no one in the place, time is still money. So next time you're having these magnificent intellectual conversations, keep in mind that you should still be slipping her some money now and then.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    Well what exactly are we suppose to say when we first approach you?

    ...

    However, from your posts it seems that yes, you may buy a few dances but you'd rather come in on a dead night and talk to the strippers for free. It doesn't matter that there's no one in the place, time is still money. So next time you're having these magnificent intellectual conversations, keep in mind that you should still be slipping her some money now and then.
    Well, for starters of course I don't expect a girl to deviate from the script when she first approaches. I don't expect any girl to be a mind reader.

    As for the rest, maybe the Montreal culture is just different, but I've never sensed a girl being impatient or annoyed in these circumstances, though I could just be a clueless yutz.

    Or maybe the girls aren't reading Stripperweb, and don't feel that spending some time chatting when they know they will be getting dances (money) out of it, and there is no other money-making option (read: unattended customers) around. Maybe I'm lost, or it could be a different culture. And I'm certainly not suggesting expecting a girl spends an hour with me, even if I am buying drinks (which as far as I know, in this city does not bring them in any commission).

    I slip her some money with a handful or more of dances and tips. Again, I can't possibly claim to know what a dancer is thinking but as a rule they've seemed pleased with the $100-200 they make at a time when no one else is making anything.

    As for 'magnificent intellectual conversations' I think that'd be a bit of a fantasy. I'm not holding up my end if that's the implied goal. Flirting, fun, business for the lady and no illusions for me is more the order of the day.

    To be honest, in a more "dance right now or gtfo!" club environment, or dancer mentality as some express here environment I wouldn't get the return on investment I seek. SW is dancer-oriented and there is nothing wrong with a girl wanting to make every cent she can out of her shift. But not meaning to be rude, I will be blunt:

    If a stripper can inflate the price of VIP rooms or dances (as more than a few have admitted to/boasted about in these threads), I just don't see a thing wrong with a patron knowing what they want and not settling for less. I don't deceive a girl in any way, I'm upfront that there WILL be dances, once I'm in the mood, which means spending some time blah blah.

    I'm not stringing anyone along. Right up front: "this will lead to dances soon." I've had girls decide after a bit that "soon" has arrived. If I agree or they charm/hustle me to want to go then, so be it. The worst I will do is say "not yet, sorry, but if you want to do a tour of the floor, or go indulge some favorite vices, or have a chat with your girls at the bar, then by all means, and come scoop me up when you're done. Short version, no one is being taken advantage of.

    Further, when you do dance for me, you're not going to get touched anywhere you don't present for touching. I'm not going to whip it out. Or try to stick my tongue in your cookie, or whatever loathsome habits dancers complain about (and rightly). I'm going to be respectful, enjoy the experience, and pay for it without fuss or drama.

    If that trade doesn't interest you, or any girl, I'm not going to be upset or offended. But if it's not for you, I'd appreciate the same. Again, I can't recall a girl who's been put off by it, but then, maybe that comes from frequenting clubs at hours where the girls on those shifts are amenable to that sort of situation. I don't know. I do feel that you're maybe taking this for more than it is, or are just the sort of girl I wouldn't click with.

    Who knows? But I won't hold your opinions against you, and if we were to meet in a club, if you were my type I'd see how it went.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by Montrealais View Post
    I'm not stringing anyone along. Right up front: "this will lead to dances soon." I've had girls decide after a bit that "soon" has arrived. If I agree or they charm/hustle me to want to go then, so be it. The worst I will do is say "not yet, sorry, but if you want to do a tour of the floor, or go indulge some favorite vices, or have a chat with your girls at the bar, then by all means, and come scoop me up when you're done. Short version, no one is being taken advantage of.
    I am curious - what generally constitutes "soon" for you?

    There are guys out there who will use the promise of dances to string girls along for as long as they can, which is probably why you are receiving mixed reactions from the dancers.

    Now your approach is probably ok in a place where you're a regular, but in new club situations it may be difficult to find girls willing to sit for long periods of time on a hope and a promise. It might help if you are upfront about your expectations and time horizon. Also, if she sits for a while, I agree with kai that slipping her a little something will probably go a long way in showing good faith.

    And btw, I will admit that my club experiences in Montreal are dated, but I don't remember the girls in those clubs being particularly patient. Hell, since stage tipping is not the norm up there, dances are the only way that these girls get paid. IME, though of course you will know more than I, they moved on fairly quickly if a guy was not paying up.

    Anyway, just my

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    "soon" I hate the word "soon" or "sit and chat with me for a little bit we'll do dances soon" UGH makes me want to pull my hair out. Wait some time "enough talking, I want to get naked" "SOON". AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    If you are enjoying so much your game of throwing off the dancer's hustle and the exchange of playful banter, some tipping for her time will keep you in her graces. She might be more willing to put up with your 'hustle' if she is benefiting from it.

    I agree with Miss Mynx that your technique sounds very PUA-like. I am sure that that it not your intention. But what you are doing sounds way too practiced and intentional, like you are up to some game. It sounds less like flirting and more like trying to confuse the lady. Some girls will likely get pissed off if they feel that they are being made to jump through hoops to get the carrot. Is that why you only do this when the club is dead and there are no patrons spending?

    Just go in, relax, and have fun. Don't play games or have techniques. If you want some dances from a particular stripper, get some when both of you seem ready and comfortable. If the dancer really does enjoys the game and has no other current prospects, she might stay for some playful banter. If she leaves pretty quickly, you will know the truth.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by Montrealais View Post
    So I'll toss a friendly curve-ball. Tell the girl I'm an astronaut whose been suspended for trying to sneak a girl into the space shuttle,
    Oh nooo! Don't do this!
    I HATE THIS!

    I immediately go "Oh jesus, some douchebag who wants to sit here and lie to me like I'm fucking stupid and I have to pretend to believe it."
    Those guys always want to sit and talk to you for HOURS and not spend ANY money! As soon as I hear something like this... I politely excuse myself and head off to the next guy.
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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by Montrealais View Post
    So I'll toss a friendly curve-ball. Tell the girl I'm an astronaut whose been suspended for trying to sneak a girl into the space shuttle, or reply to one of those openers with something like "do you really want to have that small talk? Tell me what you think of (such and such a dancer, or some weird looking patron, or whatever) instead."
    So your idea of a good time is either lying to a dancer or trying to stir up shit between she and a co-worker or customer? OK, got it!

    Seriously, I'm sure that you are nothing but a gentleman when you are dishing your so-called curve-balls but all you are really doing is entertaining your own bad self with this approach. The dancer is driving the bus here, not the customer. Regardless of what stories you are telling her she is simply humoring you until you decide to spend money or she decides that you are not worth waiting around for and moves on. I don't know much about clubs in Montreal but in my neck of the woods you have about two songs to put up or shut up no matter how brilliant your repartee is...
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  34. #23
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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    I am curious - what generally constitutes "soon" for you?

    There are guys out there who will use the promise of dances to string girls along for as long as they can, which is probably why you are receiving mixed reactions from the dancers.

    ...

    And btw, I will admit that my club experiences in Montreal are dated, but I don't remember the girls in those clubs being particularly patient. Hell, since stage tipping is not the norm up there, dances are the only way that these girls get paid. IME, though of course you will know more than I, they moved on fairly quickly if a guy was not paying up.
    I'm sure I've mentioned in one or more threads here, talking like 15 minutes (I don't exactly go by my watch or anything), and I'm up front about the time, though it has happened once or twice that the girl wasn't in any rush by then, it wouldn't be the rule. Just as it has happened that a girl has countered with something like "To Hell with that, you will come with me now!" and gotten results.

    And I have no doubt that you're right that in the busier, bigger clubs dancers are likely about as patient as a hungry shark. Also sure I've mentioned a couple of times that that's why I don't go to those clubs, and if I found myself in one I would not use the same approach.

    I'll try saying again, in hopes this post will make it clearer, I'm not stringing anyone on, or trying to fool them, or get over on them, or anything of the sort. If a girl I think may be interesting comes by my table, I lay it out right there. "Hey, I kinda like to not follow the usual conversation script, can we have fun with it instead? Dances to follow, soon and not one or two. Now, if you're interested, please do sit with me what are you drinking?"

    Maybe I'm mentally defective, but I simply can't see where that is in any way PUA or less than decent behavior. And since I can't recall it ever backfiring on me, I'm just going to be content with it working for me, doing no one any harm, and YMMV.

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    So your idea of a good time is either lying to a dancer or trying to stir up shit between she and a co-worker or customer? OK, got it!

    Seriously, I'm sure that you are nothing but a gentleman when you are dishing your so-called curve-balls but all you are really doing is entertaining your own bad self with this approach. The dancer is driving the bus here, not the customer.
    If that constitutes lying to a dancer (esp. when transparent) then I'd hesitate to think what the opposite would be. And stirring shit? Asking what she thinks of another dancer, I don't know why you'd think that would lead to a negative, I certainly didn't mean to imply so.

    And yes, of course I'm entertaining myself. It's part of why I'm going in to actually spend what, for me, is not play money. As to the dancer driving the bus, as you put it, we'll have to disagree. It's a mutual exchange, I am not going in there to be told where and how. I'm sorry, and I want to be clear I am not trying to be patronizing or contrary, but without customers, dancers cannot make a living. Without dancers, I'd... find some other way to spend money?

    Again, that is NOT meant in any demeaning way, it's just that the idea that customers exist to simply provide a steady stream of cash is nonsense. It's a form of White Knight or dancer groupie thinking, IMO.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by Montrealais View Post
    And stirring shit? Asking what she thinks of another dancer, I don't know why you'd think that would lead to a negative, I certainly didn't mean to imply so.
    A lot of customers like to play the "Hey, X Dancer what do you think of Y dancer?"
    "Hey Y Dancer, X Dancer said you blah blah blah" game to stir up shit.
    So it's generally assumed that when a customer starts asking about what you think of other dancers... they're about to try and make your night dramatic and annoying.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Throwing off a girl's hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    A lot of customers like to play the "Hey, X Dancer what do you think of Y dancer?"
    "Hey Y Dancer, X Dancer said you blah blah blah" game to stir up shit.
    So it's generally assumed that when a customer starts asking about what you think of other dancers... they're about to try and make your night dramatic and annoying.
    It seems like there's whole layers of mouth-breathing high-school behavior going on in these places of which I was blissfully unaware.

    I guess some things can't be un-seen.

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