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Thread: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

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    Featured Member h0ttie's Avatar
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    Question Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    For the past year or so I have been feeling blah even when I make a lot of money. When my other cam girl friends ask me how much I made that day or pay period they are always so excited for me which makes me feel bad because I really get no happiness from it . When I first started camming (4 years ago) I was soooo pumped to even make 200 dollars. But now I can make 400-500 and just be like ehh whatever. I almost feel guilty because I know there are so many girls that would kill to make that much and I don't even feel happy. I remember wishing I could make something like 500 a day and now that I'm here I really don't care. Now I say I will be happy when I can make 1000 a day consistently which is pretty much impossible for pay per min camming and then even if I did find a way to reach that I'm sure I would be like ehh well if I was making 1,500 I would be happy.
    thoughts? advice?
    "Achieving success is a challenge but so is struggling so you may as well choose success."

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  3. #2
    Senior Member sexxxymona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    Hey h0ttie ur not alone girl its not just u i am use to making $500 and up myself 2 weeks ago i made good money then it went down hill one week i do good next week way to slow thats how it it is with cams one month i do good next month is dead my goal was to make 75 or 100 a day but slow so as for so i have to log on other sites to keep me busy cause i get bore easy i don't know how long this gonna last hopefully it will pick up soon but in mean time i did my resume and wanna go back to regular work which i do miss and do this on the side i been doing this for a min maybe i need a break so ur not alone Hun





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  5. #3
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    So basically your bored huh? Well, give me the 500$ a day, and in the meantime I will help you search for a new job

    Joking...lol

    Maybe its burnout? The only thing I can come up with....

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    Veteran Member sexandgrammar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    There was an interesting essay in this book about how when researchers study sex work, they ask all the wrong questions when they insist on going down the "what trauma did you suffer in your childhood, what's your relationship with men, etc" path. The more interesting question, the essayist argued, was "How do you feel about money?" That is to say: sex work is work, not sex. We get into it for a whole variety of reasons, but one of its defining characteristics is the potential for insane amounts of money, earned with very little quantifiable training.

    This is all to say that I think what you're feeling is really valid. I started out the same way. I set $150 as a goal, after which I would close my computer, to keep some separation between my personal life and my work life. Now, already, that's the worst-case-scenario day.

    This industry fosters an addiction to money, in my opinion. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing--far from it. But there are very few resources out there for dealing with the psychological effects of making a shit-ton of money--and still wanting more.

    (I know some posters are going to say "well, cry me a river, toots," and that's more than fair. But I think the OP really brings up an important, strangely taboo issue, and I think it's worth discussing.)

    She wonders how much he'd pay to see her innards, what it is guys think girls are hiding so that they always want to see them in every place.
    - Virginie Despentes,


    All I wanna do is get my pussy sucked / count a million bucks in the back of an armored truck.
    - Lil' Kim, "Suck My Dick"

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    Featured Member kittykrane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    I agree with camwhore, you are probably just burned out. I make more per hour now than I have in my last 3 years of camming and yet I work less just because I don't want to dislike what I'm doing anytime soon. I don't get excited about coming online though, that's for sure! Once I'm on and making money, I cheer up.

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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    In the begging of you ask me do I love what i do, the answer was yes, and i was doing it for free.

    Now that I changed it to a job, im seriously addicted to the money, but i cant say I LOVE what I do, I like it, but if a higher|equal paying job came across , you wouldnt even hear from me tomorrow!


    I like this topic too, because most people do not talk about this issue. We pretty much grin and bear it.

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    Featured Member h0ttie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    I'm definitely not burned out. I want to work and I want to make money, I just want MORE money. It is such a horrible feeling knowing that I should be so happy with how much I can bring in but I'm just not. I will check what I made at the end of the night and feel almost disappointed, I wish I knew why. I remember a particular day about 6 months into camming I made 410 dollars I was on a "money high" for like a week! I was so proud of myself and so happy but now even when I make like 800 dollars I will be more upset that I can't bring that in daily, than I am happy that I made that amount.
    "Achieving success is a challenge but so is struggling so you may as well choose success."

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    Featured Member h0ttie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    I'm glad I brought up this topic, and also happy that you guys totally understand where I'm coming from. When I posted this I was expecting alot of the "well, cry me a river, toots", like sex said. Its so confusing because if I would have seen this post when I first started I would of been like what!?? 500!?? and this bitch is not happy?? what the fuck is wrong with her lol.
    "Achieving success is a challenge but so is struggling so you may as well choose success."

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    Featured Member kittykrane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    This type of work can definately be a roller coaster, but if you make big bucks then start making much less, I'm sure that can be discouraging. I keep a realistic goal in mind ($40-$60 per hour) so if I do wind up making less than it's not a major blow.

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    Featured Member h0ttie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    It's not making less that bothers me, though sure it would bother anyone... its about no matter how much I bring in I just don't feel accomplished.
    "Achieving success is a challenge but so is struggling so you may as well choose success."

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    Veteran Member Ashly06's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    ^^Hope you feel better soon. If you're making those amounts you're obviously working really hard,putting forth lots of effort. We're supposed to be able to enjoy our accomplishments.
    Last edited by Ashly06; 04-09-2011 at 04:27 PM.

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    Featured Member kittykrane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    Quote Originally Posted by h0ttie View Post
    It's not making less that bothers me, though sure it would bother anyone... its about no matter how much I bring in I just don't feel accomplished.
    Accomplished as in "this is what I am doing for a living and I don't feel like it's good enough?".... I'm not sure I understand...

    I have a 4-year college degree. I was trained in the armed forces as a linguist , and had I kept up my language skill after I got out of the military, I could have had a nice full time job (working with a difficult nationality though). I decided I'd rather have a family and here I am. I can work little, not leave my house, and make good money. I'm selling 'a good time' from home and I didn't have to climb up some corporate ladder to make good money selling Mary Kay, Noni or what not.

    Not everyone can do what we can do, and I know I'm not cut out to do what others can do. But as long as there is a demand, I"m going to keep camming and when I need a break or feel burned out, I'll take the time off I need to recharge.

    hang in there!
    Last edited by kittykrane; 04-10-2011 at 06:19 AM.

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    Featured Member dixievista's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    this is a very valid feeling! I was watching a documentary not long ago about millionaires and how there are so many now compared to 20 years ago, and because they have so much money, they no longer understand what it was like without it, no amount has any real value to them - but it seemed that if they took a moment to reflect on how much better their life is than it was, how fortunate they are compared to others, the restlessness faded.

    it's great that you can earn that kind of money, but I understand your feeling - I used to be that way about my real job! maybe try community service? lol not like free shows or anything, but real community service, like volunteering at a homeless shelter, or some sort of community group. everyone needs balance, and few people do such volunteer work these days.

    just my two cents

    So if you want to be with me
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    Than waiting to win the lottery
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    I mean I really think you like me

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    Veteran Member Ashly06's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    Quote Originally Posted by dixievista View Post
    maybe try community service? lol not like free shows or anything, but real community service, like volunteering at a homeless shelter, or some sort of community group. everyone needs balance, and few people do such volunteer work these days.

    just my two cents
    Oh my goodness,my family used to do stuff like that all the time! There was a time when we were younger & had to live in a shelter while my mom was leaving her abusive husband(my dad). Anyway once we got on our feet we would visit that same womans shelter every Christmas to bring gifts. We wrapped them in newspaper to recycle of course. The woman and children were always so greatful. Then one year the shelter must have told a local reporter what we did & they featured us in an article. I couldn't be but 10yrs old at the time. It was just a good feeling helping people & a proud moment for us. We still all have copies of the paper,just wanted to share...

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    Featured Member h0ttie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    When I say accomplished I don't mean it like, "this is what I am doing for a living and I don't feel like it's good enough". I mean it like the money feels worthless in a way so I keep wanting more, hoping that once I can make more I will feel satisfied (but honestly think even if I could make 10,000 a night I think I would just wish I could make 20,000).

    But I think volunteering is a really really good idea. I'm going to find a homeless shelter or something this week and if that doesn't make me grateful I don't know what will.

    And Ashly that story is so sweet
    "Achieving success is a challenge but so is struggling so you may as well choose success."

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    Veteran Member sexandgrammar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    Quote Originally Posted by h0ttie View Post
    When I say accomplished I don't mean it like, "this is what I am doing for a living and I don't feel like it's good enough". I mean it like the money feels worthless in a way so I keep wanting more, hoping that once I can make more I will feel satisfied (but honestly think even if I could make 10,000 a night I think I would just wish I could make 20,000).
    I totally hear you, girl. And I feel the same way, 110%. It's not about feeling "unaccomplished," per se. It's about the ultimate surrealness of making a lot of money, how abstract it is, how intangible, and how all that compounded with a kind of addiction makes it seem more like a vague game than anything real.

    Recently, I've forced myself to start thinking in the concrete, i.e. figuring out investment stuff. But I've also been thinking about how to better reward myself. I feel like ceremony is so important, as is celebrating. Money can just seem all too abstract if not put to use.

    So what if you treated yourself to something nice as FUCK, that you're not used to being able to afford, just once a week? That way, you might have a clearer picture of WHY you're working you ass off, of the pleasure that money IS, in some small ways, able to buy.

    She wonders how much he'd pay to see her innards, what it is guys think girls are hiding so that they always want to see them in every place.
    - Virginie Despentes,


    All I wanna do is get my pussy sucked / count a million bucks in the back of an armored truck.
    - Lil' Kim, "Suck My Dick"

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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    I'm feeling a similar kind of way. I was pissed off last night because I knew there was no way to make my weekly goal because I had to take off my big money nights to go visit my sister and see an art show. I wanted to do it but I was going to make 300$ less than I was used to in a week.

    No matter how much money I make (not that I make a ton of money to begin with...OMG there it is again!) it's not enough money. And it's not like I'm doing drugs or buying designer dresses. I think that's the thing that bothers me. I don't think that my goals are unreasonable. I pay double on my student loan, I have a reasonable car payment, I have a cheap rent payment, I have Fios internet for camming, I make 90% of my meals myself, I pay my employee/assistant for 3 days of work a week, I pay my car and health insurance, go to the doctor, feed the dog and then I don't have money left at the end of the year to pay my taxes.

    I can make in one night what my roommate makes in a week and it appears that both of us are living the same paycheck to paycheck kind of thing. Even when I accumulate some kind of savings it's gone by the end of the year, taxes here, a hospital bill there (I have a hyatal hernia, bipolar disorder and IBS), car repairs for my parents that time.

    So I was thinking about this the other day and I was thinking it's probably a combination of unrealistic expectations that seem realistic ("It should be super simple to pay this 5 year loan off in 3") and the fact that "stripper money" isn't really all that much money as it seems it is. If you're on a 5 hour cam shift and you make 300$ that's 60$ per hour. Then when you count the hour you put on makeup and turned your lights on and set up the computer then the hour you washed your makeup off and washed your dildoes and read the SW forums to wind down it's 42 and some change. Then when you take 25% taxes* out of that you made about 31.50. But you think still that you're making 60$ an hour and it's just not going as far as it should because you're actually only making half of it but you don't know that so you get trapped in this, "I should be making more, if I only make more I'll be happy!"

    Then I thought maybe if I thought of it as what I'm actually making I'd feel better but I actually only felt worse because that means I'm shaking my tukhus and jamming a dildo in me and pretending like I just loooove premature ejaculation for the same rate as an experienced computer programmer keeps his clothes on and plays Doom in his cubicle. So I dunno, maybe that helps? Maybe we can talk about it more and figure something out?

    *I'm single, have no kids and no property so I'm in the 25% tax bracket.


    I

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    Him: we could meet... im 5ft 9 sexy italian with a 8 inch love stick...imagine playing with me... how would you do it
    Me: I would cut off your dick and feed it to the pigs

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    Veteran Member catgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    this sounds like something deeper than just money or being fufilled from what you do for a living..
    maybe go into therapy? people put down people who ask for help/go to the doctor for mental/emotional instability, but sometimes in our life we need help. i'm not saying you are crazy- it just sounds like more than just that. or there are hypnotists that help out people- i've heard for all sorts of obsessions/compulsions/paranoias/etc.
    i wish people would not put down people with problems like these- it's unfortunate because we don't ask for these problems- we wish we could be different but there is help, and maybe just talking to a group about it. there are books about it too.

    good luck
    hugs

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    Featured Member dixievista's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    @catgirl

    that's a good idea - I know lots of medical professionals wouldn't be appropriate, but maybe if you can find an open-minded practitioner with a liberal world-view you could get some insight into why you're feeling the way you do and maybe get some more answers.

    but if you're serious about that route, you can't go to just one doctor - you'll probably have to go to a few before you find the right one, because unfortunately most people are shitty humans and wouldn't be qualified or even willing to take on a "complicated" sex work case, lol.

    or you can try everything listed here and see what works for now!!! I hope you feel better - don't get too down on yourself, you're probably just stuck in a rut, and the economy is tanking and America is totally in the shitter right now so really why aren't all of us down on ourselves??

    So if you want to be with me
    With these things there’s no telling
    We just have to wait and see
    But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
    Than waiting to win the lottery
    Besides maybe this time is different
    I mean I really think you like me

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    Veteran Member sexandgrammar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Not satisfied even though I'm making money

    I've plugged this website before, but here goes again because it's just so, so awesome: https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kin...-homepage.html

    If you're interested in going the mental health route, the database here is indispensable.

    She wonders how much he'd pay to see her innards, what it is guys think girls are hiding so that they always want to see them in every place.
    - Virginie Despentes,


    All I wanna do is get my pussy sucked / count a million bucks in the back of an armored truck.
    - Lil' Kim, "Suck My Dick"

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