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Thread: Sad realization, I have no friends!

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    Default Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Im realizing I have no friends. I have a boyfriend that I spend alot of time with and over the past years my close friends moved out of the city/state, got married, never go out, work too much to get together. I feel kinda like a loser and its really taking a toll on me...i feel like i am shy and not the kind of person who can just go out and meet ppl and make new friends...ive always been the type of person who has a few close girlfriends not a ton of friends and i like it that way...well i dont have that any more--my close friends and i talk on the phn like once a month and catch up that is all. i feel like i need to get out and be social but i dont know where to start!! maybe i should just be content spending time alone all the time? is that healthy??

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    What is your city? Honestly, most of my friends are girls I have met thru SW(Been here since '03 under a dif name). You are in the right place to meet like minded girl friends.

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    The ones you talk to on the phone, cant you set up a meeting date and meet up each other in advanced? Getting a new hobby, or re-starting a new one. Keeping your time busy is at best. Joining a club (cooking, gym, dancing etc) will help you meet people. I took pole classes, and even though those girls did not become my friends, I still had a blast with them for that hour. Simple things such as those open up a circle. Try not to stress about it too much, getting an animal will keep you busy, and things that you enjoy will get you out there and meeting random people who may become your friends. Some people are more socialiable than others.

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    htown (houston)

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    Veteran Member johnjdick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Honestly, I have very few friends as well. I sympathize with you. Every few years, I pack up and move to a different city. Making new friends can be difficult. I get along with the people I work with, and every once in a while will go out for a beer with someone... but I really don't have anyone I would call a close friend. It gets lonely sometimes. I've just been coping for so long that I've grown accustomed to it. I think it's just my nature to have wanderlust, always moving around and seeing what's over the next horizon. Being a loner just comes with that territory, I guess.

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    I do know alot of people but only have a couple people I consider my friends. Unfortunately I hang out with them more as a single person bc they do single people things and want to party. Not something I can do while in a relationship so I am lonely alot. Plus dancing doesnt exactly attract new friendships. And old ones were dissolved as my friends didnt approve of my lifestyle and they pushed me away. Ive come to the realization that most females r threatened by my job or dont like it..That makes me a loner in itself.

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    I am in the same boat. I had a bf of 6 yrs and spent most of my time with him and little by little lost touch with most of my friends. We havent been together for over a year now, but we are still friends. I have plentyyyy of male friends who i can go out and have fun with, but about two close girlfriends but dont even have time to get together with them bc of conflicting schedules. I have been seeing a guy for over a year now and seem to spend whatever free time i have with him. Its extremely difficult for me to make new freindships with women bc they judge me superficially without getting to know me. Im wondering where i can find new female friends also

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    Featured Member BuffyFlame's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    OMG im so glad i found this!
    I now know im not alone!

    This has hit me hard the last few days ,
    ive even thought about ... well , harmful things.
    Ive been crying allot about it lately too.
    I tried contacting an old friend only to get blown off.

    I got with my husband at 14 , got married at 16 , had kids
    and really missed out on allot.

    Im also in texas.
    YOUR NOT ALONE! <3
    Americanmade18 on most sites.

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Quote Originally Posted by shift_6x View Post
    I do know alot of people but only have a couple people I consider my friends. Unfortunately I hang out with them more as a single person bc they do single people things and want to party. Not something I can do while in a relationship so I am lonely alot. Plus dancing doesnt exactly attract new friendships. And old ones were dissolved as my friends didnt approve of my lifestyle and they pushed me away. Ive come to the realization that most females r threatened by my job or dont like it..That makes me a loner in itself.
    thats the other thing...once my other girlfriends found out i was dancing, i guess i shouldnt have told them--they said its cool but slowly disappeard which hurts bc im a good person and my job shouldnt determine wheather or not i am "friend" worthy...but it does. i guess ill be a loner til i get a "real" job and prolly just make friends there. ugh.

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Quote Originally Posted by BuffyFlame View Post
    OMG im so glad i found this!
    I now know im not alone!

    This has hit me hard the last few days ,
    ive even thought about ... well , harmful things.
    Ive been crying allot about it lately too.
    I tried contacting an old friend only to get blown off.

    I got with my husband at 14 , got married at 16 , had kids
    and really missed out on allot.

    Im also in texas.
    YOUR NOT ALONE! <3
    hey girl! where in tx?
    it is depressing!! i can relate...i also got married young, had kids--then divorced..missed out on alot in my early 20s when i think i could have been spending more times w my friends and making new friends. those years are so important.

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    Veteran Member DottieMay's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    I have the same problem. I have one true friend. I used to have to but lately I am realizing that she really isn't my friend. I don't really know how to meet friends either. Everytime I meet someone who I think is friend material they end up either being crazy or two faced. Plus I'm kind of quirky and a little bit dorky so it's kind of hard to meet people who get me. It does suck sometimes but if you've got one good friend sometimes that's all you need.

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    I don't really have any friends either.

    I used to have two really close girlfriends up here, but one of them has kinda got sucked into her job as asst. manager of a local clothing store, as well as being around her SO 24/7 (she's one of those girls that falls off the face of the earth when she's in a relationship--and, as she's a serial monogamist, that's pretty much all the time), so I just never see her. The past couple of months she never even calls, and whenever I do finally hear from her, she's all, "This has been the busiest week/month, I've had to do this and this and this and this and this," and I kinda don't believe her.

    And then my other friend was a girl who I started dancing with, but she was dating my best guy friend, and there was a bit of a nasty breakup and I kinda got caught in the middle of it to a certain extent. Then she kinda started on this weird downward spiral and got into a bit of a dark place, especially with dancing, and our experiences as strippers starting to become very different. She moved to another club and is much happier there, and we made up, but we don't really talk much anymore.

    There's also Heidi, a girl I grew up with in Arkansas. She lives in New Mexico now, where she's in grad school, and although I talk to her maybe once or twice a month, I haven't actually seen her in like 4 years.

    I hoped to make friends with my fiancee's friends, and although I honestly do get along really well with all his guy friends, all of the ones in a relationship (or marriage) have these super controlling, manipulative, paranoid wives who have started to boycott me...they ban their husbands/SO's from being around me, or if we're all hanging out, the women will start trying to claim their territory and make these catty little comments that I don't really tolerate.

    It's difficult. Once we're married and we move to wherever Joe will be stationed, I hope to make new friends, but I'm a little skeptical of it now. How do I know that there won't be some terrible sorority of fat, ugly, judgmental, Christian military wives? My Dad was a pilot in the Air Force, so my Mom's been through this experience, and she warned me about it: all the other men (especially pilots) will constantly try to sleep with me behind Joe's back, and all their wives will blame me for it. It's a pretty depressing idea.

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    I don't really have any friends either.

    I used to have two really close girlfriends up here, but one of them has kinda got sucked into her job as asst. manager of a local clothing store, as well as being around her SO 24/7 (she's one of those girls that falls off the face of the earth when she's in a relationship--and, as she's a serial monogamist, that's pretty much all the time), so I just never see her. The past couple of months she never even calls, and whenever I do finally hear from her, she's all, "This has been the busiest week/month, I've had to do this and this and this and this and this," and I kinda don't believe her.

    And then my other friend was a girl who I started dancing with, but she was dating my best guy friend, and there was a bit of a nasty breakup and I kinda got caught in the middle of it to a certain extent. Then she kinda started on this weird downward spiral and got into a bit of a dark place, especially with dancing, and our experiences as strippers starting to become very different. She moved to another club and is much happier there, and we made up, but we don't really talk much anymore.

    There's also Heidi, a girl I grew up with in Arkansas. She lives in New Mexico now, where she's in grad school, and although I talk to her maybe once or twice a month, I haven't actually seen her in like 4 years.

    I hoped to make friends with my fiancee's friends, and although I honestly do get along really well with all his guy friends, all of the ones in a relationship (or marriage) have these super controlling, manipulative, paranoid wives who have started to boycott me...they ban their husbands/SO's from being around me, or if we're all hanging out, the women will start trying to claim their territory and make these catty little comments that I don't really tolerate.

    It's difficult. Once we're married and we move to wherever Joe will be stationed, I hope to make new friends, but I'm a little skeptical of it now. How do I know that there won't be some terrible sorority of fat, ugly, judgmental, Christian military wives? My Dad was a pilot in the Air Force, so my Mom's been through this experience, and she warned me about it: all the other men (especially pilots) will constantly try to sleep with me behind Joe's back, and all their wives will blame me for it. It's a pretty depressing idea.
    what kind of women are they?! they sound immature like little girls geez...do they know you dance?

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Quote Originally Posted by DottieMay View Post
    I have the same problem. I have one true friend. I used to have to but lately I am realizing that she really isn't my friend. I don't really know how to meet friends either. Everytime I meet someone who I think is friend material they end up either being crazy or two faced. Plus I'm kind of quirky and a little bit dorky so it's kind of hard to meet people who get me. It does suck sometimes but if you've got one good friend sometimes that's all you need.
    oh yea same here. girlfriends always seem to be two faced in general...i've only had one girlfriend who hasnt been that way but she is like 16 hours away and super busy we just talk on the phn sometimes..i dont make dancer friends at the clubs (had a horrible experience with a sociapath)

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Unfortunately I am in the same boat. *hugs*

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Even though having little to no true friends isnt the greatest thing.....im glad i found this post...i honestly felt like i was the only one in the country with the issue

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    I think it's difficult for women who are a little..."deeper"...than your average chick. I know lots of vapid, air-headed, bubbly women who have TONS of female friends, and they all get together all the time and giggle and discuss reality TV shows and paint each others toenails and gossip. But then, when one of the girls leaves, the rest would immediately start trashing her, though they always acted like they were "BFFs 4EVR, like OMG!!!" whenever she was around. Meanwhile, I'd kinda be sitting in a corner, feeling amazingly awkward because I just couldn't seem to relax and be girly with the group. Especially because I found every word coming out of their mouths to be completely pointless and incredibly moronic. Seriously, like nails on a chalkboard. Or the teacher on Charlie Brown. They NEVER seemed to have anything meaningful to say about anything.

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    firemaiden, I think I mentioned this before, but you now officially own my heart.

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    Veteran Member Camateur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Sorry if this sounds dumb but a long time ago on here (can't find it now) someone started a friendship thread where girls who wanted to make friends in their city would post. We could try that here

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Well, I'm always down for meeting people, unless y'all are looking for more of a 'girls club' thing. I've noticed there are quite a few on here from Texas. I'm in the Dallas area.

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    I'm also in Dallas. I'm friendly and enjoy things beyond toe polish. lol

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    That's two of us. Kikiwiki is visiting Dallas this week. I'm working with her tomorrow. I'll see if she's down with having a little pow-wow at some point in the week.

    Edit: Waitaminute... Lacy? You wouldn't happen to be the Lacy that I used to work with at Jaguars by any chance?

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Nah, I never danced as Lacy and never worked at Jaguars. Pretty sure I haven't met you. I do know wiki tho!

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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    Sorry, then. If that's your chest in your avatar picture, you bear a striking resemblance to her. You also seem to have her friendly/flirtatious attitude and positive yet no-nonsense outlook.

    Edit: (cough) not that I'm one of those guys who would only recognize a woman by looking at her boobs. I was noticing the curly brown hair too

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    Veteran Member Lacy Luck's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sad realization, I have no friends!

    LOL I forgive you. The boobs are a bit more distinctive than dark hair;p

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