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Thread: Why men are never depressed

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    Thumbs up Why men are never depressed

    Found this list, got a laugh out of it

    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
    Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can be President.
    You can never be pregnant.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood all the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
    Everything on your face stays its original color.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
    No wonder men are happier.

    Feel free to add some

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    I don't know, I think I'm a lot fucking happier than most of the men I know:
    -I have tits and I can make money with them
    -One big smile and I get out of speeding tickets
    -I can use proper logic
    -I'm more creative
    -I naturally have better hygiene and better hygienic practices
    -I'm more patient
    -Even though I make less money than men on average (in a vanilla setting), I naturally do better in school
    -I am better at multitasking
    -I don't have an extraneous organ making a lot of major decisions for me.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04
    -I can use proper logic
    Are you transgender?


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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Found this list, got a laugh out of it

    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
    Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Your last name stays put.
    I plan on keeping my maiden name. I wouldn't even consider changing my name. I'm not his property.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    The garage is all yours.
    He can have the garage.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Men that aren't involved in wedding plans shouldn't be getting married.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    Chocolate is one of many snacks.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can be President.
    So can women and one day we will have a woman president (hopefully not Sarah Palin).

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can never be pregnant.
    True, but this is why men should cater big time to their pregnant wife. You better believe if I become pregnant I will expect my husband to cater to me, including 3am food runs. Otherwise he's not getting any sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    This one makes no sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
    Just because you can doesn't mean it's not gross, especially if you are a fat smelly man.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    Many mechanics with this mentality are losers who won't get laid anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    The world is your urinal.
    Men who do this are no better than dogs. At least dogs have an excuse.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
    No, according to the previous one, men will just piss outside.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    I know how to use nuts and bolts. All women should learn.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Same work, more pay.
    Employers that discriminate should be sued big time for this. This actually isn't something that people should joke about because it's disgusting.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Wrinkles add character.
    Nope, they just make a man look old like they do women.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
    Spending that amount on a wedding dress is ridiculous. I plan to save as much as possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    When men stare at my chest I stare at their zipper and often see nothing there.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    I don't have this problem because I check to make sure it's the right size.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    One mood all the time.
    Wrong. Most guys I know have several moods. I know many guys who are moodier than women.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    The guys I know talk more than women. Same thing goes for gossip.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You know stuff about tanks.
    I know a lot about tanks. I know guys who know less than me.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    This is because some men are slobs and wear the same clothes. These guys probably aren't getting a lot of sex.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can open all your own jars.
    I used to before I got arthritis.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    Everyone should get credit.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    I know many men who hold grudges.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    I buy cheap underwear.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
    I probably only have three pairs of shoes or so. I am not into shoes.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    No, the guy would just pull off the shirt, especially if he's fat.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
    I often have wrinkles in my clothes because I don't care.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Everything on your face stays its original color.
    I have a male friend with rosacea so his face is different colors.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    I have the same hairstyle I've had for years. It works for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    I don't shave at all in the winter and men who have unrurly armpit hair don't get dates with me. If I wanted to date a hairy man I'd date an ape at the zoo.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can play with toys all your life.
    I still play with toys. For Christmas I get Wii games, electronics, and DVDs/CDs. No clothes or shoes for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
    This describes me perfectly. I have one purse that I bought at Target for $20.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    I don't know, I see lots of fat women wearing shorts. I have nice legs, but even if I didn't I'd still wear shorts.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
    I've done that.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    If men don't want to shave their armpits, then women should grow mustaches. I've known many women with mustaches that men envied.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
    I do this.
    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    No wonder men are happier.
    No, it just means some men are lazy, smelly, hairy and fat.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    Feel free to add some
    Ok, women have it better because we can use men. Women are smart enough to see through lying men but men don't see through gold diggers. We also make much more in modeling and dancing than men.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    ^^Damn right!!!

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    I don't know, I think I'm a lot fucking happier than most of the men I know:
    -I have tits and I can make money with them
    -One big smile and I get out of speeding tickets
    -I can use proper logic
    -I'm more creative
    -I naturally have better hygiene and better hygienic practices
    -I'm more patient
    -Even though I make less money than men on average (in a vanilla setting), I naturally do better in school
    -I am better at multitasking
    -I don't have an extraneous organ making a lot of major decisions for me.
    rofl

    this is a good list! it's soo funny because my sister and i JUST had this conversation a couple days ago whether or not women had it easier and were generally happier. My sister thinks men have it easier, but I think women do. Personally, I absolutely LOVE being a woman, and if men were so happy then I don't think there would be so many male-to-female transgenders, those are a lot more common then the other way around. I'm so glad I was born a woman I dont think I would enjoy being a man lol. I have lost count of all the free shit I have gotten and trouble I have gotten myself out of simply by being a female, and an attractive one at that. And there isn't as much pressure on women to work outside of the home. If you are a woman who stays at home and doesn't work, you are a housewife or stay at home mom. If you are a stay at home husband or dad, you are a lazybumfuck

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    I enjoy being a man, but there are times I tell you, when I wish I was a chick, lol. I can tell you one thing for starters - you put my brain in the body of any one of the half the strippers I know and I'd make FUCKING BANK, lol.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    HAHA, thanks KellyDancer I liked your replies.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Found this list, got a laugh out of it

    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
    Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

    Your last name stays put. - So will mine because I don't need anyones last name but my own.
    The garage is all yours. - And you can keep it, I get the closets, the bathroom, and quite honestly the whole damn house when you leave.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves. - if you can't be bothered to help me with OUR wedding plans I can't be bothered to marry you.
    Chocolate is just another snack. - As is beer.
    You can be President.- So can I
    You can never be pregnant. - If done properly, I don't have to ever be pregnant either.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. - Yeah but I'll look better in one.
    You can wear NO shirt to a water park. - So can I. It's called a bikini.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth. - I don't need a car mechanic, I can fix it myself.
    The world is your urinal. - If you have to mark your territory like an animal, I'll treat you like an animal.
    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. - You're right, I prefer to have hygiene.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. - If ANYONE doesn't know which way to turn a nut on a bolt you should be ashamed male or female.
    Same work, more pay. - Bull, I make more than you in a night than you do in a week.
    Wrinkles add character. - Why show my age when I don't have to?
    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. - And no one will be looking at you anyway.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. - You're right they stare at your cock and laugh.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. - I've never had a pair of shoes mangle my feet.
    One mood all the time. - Yeah, stupid.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. - I don't talk on the phone at all so that cuts my time to 0.
    You know stuff about tanks. - And this makes you superior why?
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. - If this is true then you're a slob.
    You can open all your own jars. - So can I.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. - That's because it's impressive you had a thought at all.
    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. - Why would I want to be friends with someone who forgets me?
    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. - I can shop at walmart too.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.. - Enough for what exactly?
    You almost never have strap problems in public. - I don't know what type of strap you're referring to
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.. Again because you're a slob.
    Everything on your face stays its original color. - And ugly.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. - If you're wearing an 80's hairstyle in the 21st century you deserve to never get laid again.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.- And half the time you can't be bothered to do even that. Again thanks but I'll keep my hygiene practices.
    You can play with toys all your life. - I have better toys.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. - Boring.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. - Sure and people can cringe at the state of them.
    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. - So can I, doesn't mean I don't prefer a nail file.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. - I wouldn't want one.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. - Anyone can do this.
    No wonder men are happier. - Men aren't happier, they're just dumber and therefore content with less.

    Feel free to add some - Yeah no problem.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

    "you conjunctively engender an intoxicating combination of wicked, wholesome & insanely intelligent" - a friend describing me


    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    DAMN!!! JayATee why so much hate , I never said men were superior. If you read into the list, most of its a cut on being a guy.

    Since you like quote's from Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight..... "Why so Serious?"

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    HAHA, thanks KellyDancer I liked your replies.
    Thanks.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by JustAnotherCustomer View Post
    DAMN!!! JayATee why so much hate , I never said men were superior. If you read into the list, most of its a cut on being a guy.

    Since you like quote's from Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight..... "Why so Serious?"
    ...actually, honestly, most of those weren't "cuts" on being men. I don't think I'm the only one who really found most of them to be incredibly mean-spirited. Trust us, we know that women are still widely discriminated against, and many men view us as intellectually, physically, emotionally, and morally inferior. We don't need our faces rubbed in it.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    ...actually, honestly, most of those weren't "cuts" on being men. I don't think I'm the only one who really found most of them to be incredibly mean-spirited. Trust us, we know that women are still widely discriminated against, and many men view us as intellectually, physically, emotionally, and morally inferior. We don't need our faces rubbed in it.
    Honestly I wasn't try to rub it in anyones faces or be mean, maybe since I don't find women inferior I found some humour in the list......SORRY

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04 View Post
    ...actually, honestly, most of those weren't "cuts" on being men. I don't think I'm the only one who really found most of them to be incredibly mean-spirited. Trust us, we know that women are still widely discriminated against, and many men view us as intellectually, physically, emotionally, and morally inferior. We don't need our faces rubbed in it.
    I don't think he meant it as insults, just that other men might think some of those are appropriate. Personally, I would never date men who actually think those ideas are what men or women are supposed to be like. I know the discrimination one hits me personally having been discriminated against for being a woman. Personally I would never marry a man who would expect me to change my name, for me to plan all the wedding plans or is just a plain slob.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    ..... this was just a joke, meant to make us laugh a little :S

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by TequilatoKillYa View Post
    ..... this was just a joke, meant to make us laugh a little :S
    YOU GOT IT!
    Thank you

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    C'mon lighten up ladies, how can you take anything I say seriously. I know im just a guest here, as in Just Another Customer. Try not to hate all us guys, some of us are still fun to be around.

    For example,
    I had a great time last night hanging out in a club i've never been to before. I must have been the only sober guy there. Its a BYOB place, and I didn't know that. So I drank water all night and talked with most of the girls, just making them laugh. One dancer was hanging on me half the night, making fun of all the drunk guys in the place. As she put it, I'm tired of all the drunk assholes tonite, they are so fucking annoying. So I guess I made her night better by chillin with me, and laughing a little.

    Just remember
    Don't take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive!

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Where did I say that you said men were superior? I don't find discrimination funny. Sue me.
    Sorry I missed church. I was too busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.

    "If you're good at something, never do it for free." The Dark Knight

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    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ It's a penis, not a martini shaker.
    Blessed Be

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    I'm suing Jay for discriminating against people who discriminate. Discrimination is discrimination, I'll stomach no hypocrisy on that point!


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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    Who was it that said that as for comedy, nothing is too offensive or off limits as long as it's funny?

    This whole thing wasn't really funny. So it just came off offensive. Not a single one of those things made me snicker or chuckle or giggle. Most of them made me think, "Wow, that's an age-old sexist stereotype that actually doesn't have much basis in truth." Like cars: I know more about cars than any guy I've ever dated, with the exception of my fiancee. My ex Kyle didn't even know how to refill the wiper fluid. Or the whole thing about nuts and bolts: I used to work at a hardware store and can do any basic home improvement project independently, whereas my exes didn't even know how to install blinds or wire a surround sound system. My ex Noah didn't even know what an allen wrench was. Or the thing about moods: most guys I know cause more drama and have more sudden unexplained mood swings than any female.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    The more I spend time on this forum, the more I think that if things don't work out with MM, I'm going to hunt firemaiden down and woo her. Knows cars, knows tools, but doesn't come off too tomboyish. That's a chick made of win.

    Hell - we all know MM's down - hey fire, ever try a poly relationship? Vegas was a clear, sunny 67 degrees today if that's any incentive...

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    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    ^ Lol, I've never been in a poly relationship, though I've been in open relationships before. I hated them--they usually were less of an "open relationship" than they were an excuse for one person in the relationship to sleep with anyone they want, while the other had to stay faithful. It wasn't really a genuine thing, just a solution for philanderers. I always found the idea of real, genuine poly relationships interesting, especially the idea of truly sharing the guy with other girls, and having fulfilling relationships with them as well. But I love my fiancee very much, and it's not really something either of us are into. Though I aim to convince him to have a threesome with another girl at some point...

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    writing our name in the snow amuses us, always.

    We can be perfectly happy, chubby.

    beer and a steak, action flick, then a strip club, is an awesome night.

    We can just sit with our friends and say nothing for hours. Sucks to be the worm on the hook though.

    a hair cut takes 15 minutes.

    one shampoo and one bar of soap saves a lot of shelf space.

    sweating is ok.

    Go anywhere alone is not strange.

    Don't need friends to approve your relationships, although the "I told you so's" will last decades.

    the line for the bathroom is way shorter. Way.

    "Pull my finger" is funny if your 8 or 28.

    If you ruin your clothes, this is an inconvenience.

    We can debate our friends and still like them.

    Muscle cars. That alone is a perk.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    I chuckled.

    Firemaiden, you sound like more of an exception than a rule. For every one of you there are hundreds of females who have no interest or knowledge in anything having to do with cars or tools. Of course, there are probably more than we realize that ARE into that, but I think its safe to bet that percentage-wise, there's a significantly higher percentage of males who are into cars and tools than females. This could be a completely BS assertion on my part, but I would be very surprised if this were not true.

    Emotions and mood swings is pretty debatable, because I've known a lot of drama kings, but I always thought there was a consensus that women were more emotional in general (there are exceptions to almost every rule). I actually just had a 'conversation' last night with a drunk lesbian at a bar who tried to convince me to turn gay and like dicks because the pussy wasn't worth all the drama. I told her "I don't think I can do that. Girls are so soft." She paused for a second, then shook her head and said "Yea. They are soo fuckin' soft." haha. But yea, I thought highly emotional was a greater trend amongst females.

    Females absolutely destroy guys with multi-tasking though. How the heck do you DO that? Kills me. Amazing.

    Organization. Females seem to be far more organized in general, though I've met several scatterbrains. I've had a few female friends whose organizational skills were highly impressive.

    I thought the list was somewhat amusing, but I'm also a guy. I will say that I've always felt that women have tougher, more complicated lives and I've never envied that.

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    Default Re: Why men are never depressed

    +1 to more complicated, all other issues be what they may, lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04
    ^ Lol, I've never been in a poly relationship, though I've been in open relationships before. I hated them--they usually were less of an "open relationship" than they were an excuse for one person in the relationship to sleep with anyone they want, while the other had to stay faithful. It wasn't really a genuine thing, just a solution for philanderers.
    We all see this a lot in "the community". It sucks, and gives the whole non-monogamy crows, be they swingers, open relationships, or poly folk, a bad name. People like that are black listed pretty quick in most non-monogamy social circles. It sucks when you have a household that LOOKS like that,but isn't. One good thing about having GF#2 around was we could point to her and be like - "see! see! SHE sees other guys!" lol. MM & GF#1 are faithful to me by THEIR choice, and enjoy hooking me up with other women. Sometimes the net effect looks like I'm one of THOSE guys (there are THOSE girls as well).

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden04
    I always found the idea of real, genuine poly relationships interesting, especially the idea of truly sharing the guy with other girls, and having fulfilling relationships with them as well.
    It's a beautiful ideal and a few manage to get there. It's a LOT of work. Adding ONE person - total of three - increases the dynamic from 1 (you & yours) to 4 (each "couple's" interaction - whether they are romantic with each other or not, plus the group), and it gets crazier from there, as seldom are you going to go past 3 and have everyone romantically or physically into everyone else. You know how much work your relationship is? Yeah. Think about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by firemaiden
    But I love my fiancee very much, and it's not really something either of us are into. Though I aim to convince him to have a threesome with another girl at some point...
    It amazes me that it takes convincing for some guys. It's the most beautiful experience imaginable when it's done right.

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