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Thread: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

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    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
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    Last edited by DesuvsDeath; 12-27-2013 at 07:34 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    Lie about what?

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    I'd call them out. Lying back to them is just lowering yourself.

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    Veteran Member BeBe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    Most people can lie and not lose a day of sleep. You, on the other hand, sound like someone who is consciously bothered by it. So, unfortunately dear I wouldn't recommend lying in your case.

    If you don't want to reveal certain things about yourself than don't. Politely decline an answer. Don't lie if you feel bad about doing it. You'll just beat yourself up in the long run and it really isn't worth it.

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    Veteran Member johnjdick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    Absolutely. Lying to smooth over the rough spots in life is sometimes a necessary evil. I wouldn't make a very good DJ if I didn't lie on the microphone. I lie to relatives about my political and religious beliefs because I know their minds are set, and telling them how I REALLY felt would only start an argument.

    I do try to be a sincere person for the most part... but sometimes you have to balance honesty with consideration for the feelings of others. The truth can be a bitter pill to pass around sometimes. It's up to you to judge when best to keep that bitter pill to yourself.

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    I've got someone in my life who is always lying to me about the stupidest things. I'd rather not talk to them at all, especially not about anything important, but this isn't currently someone I have the option of cutting out of my life.
    In the mean time, I don't want to be completely honest/open with them... and I was wondering: Is it okay for me to lie to this person in return?
    I don't typically lie, and I realize this is lowering myself to their level... but being civil is still necessary and outright 'don't wanna talk about it' ect will just lead to bullshit drama. So it seems like lying is the easiest/quickest way to get off topics I don't want to discuss with someone I don't trust... but idk, it feels wrong.

    Am I just being dramatic? Should I shut up and just tell the lies to make my life easier for the next few months?
    I would just limit the amount of personal information I gave out, and kinda gloss over my life details. You can shade the truth, which isn't necessarily lying. You have every right to censor your life as you see fit.

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    Moderator Jessie_tinydancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    I think its ok to lie if its none of that person's business. Your not lying about important things to someone who is important to you, so I dont see a problem. Sure if you get good at it you might be tempted to lie in other situations but for the most part small lies about meaningless things dont really matter IMO. Its hard to explain but I think I understand what you mean. I have people in my life like that too where its just easier to lie. Its not like you are instigating it, just when the person asks a question because they are nosy and frankly its none of their damn business, but of course you cant say that.

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    Moderator IsobelWren's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    I wonder what would happen if you just answered nonsensically or with, "that's not really your business" or "I don't want to talk about it".


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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by IsobelWren View Post
    I wonder what would happen if you just answered nonsensically or with, "that's not really your business" or "I don't want to talk about it".
    Ha, I do this and it drives people crazy sometimes. I'm really private, and one of my HUGEST pet peeves is nosy people. I get the impression though that due to extenuating circumstances, Desuvs doesn't have the luxury of doing this.

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post

    I've called them out REPEATEDLY before. It just leads to giant fights and I just get more lies to cover the lies. Hence why I'd rather not interact with this person at all... but since I have to for another several months.... and I still need to peacefully interact with this person... I can't really see any way to quickly get out of conversations other than basic 'yes/no/idk I haven't decided' type lies to avoid talking about shit that isn't their business.
    Dude, fuck em then! Id let it be known that I dont like them or there lies despite the drama it causes. Ive known people like the person you described and its just a bunch of bullshit and drama.
    If I were you I probably wouldnt lie. Just be straight up...if they dont like it, who cares you dont like them either

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    I can't really see any way to quickly get out of conversations other than basic 'yes/no/idk I haven't decided' type lies to avoid talking about shit that isn't their business.
    I think this sounds like your best bet. Try to minimize your conversation with them as much as possible until you no longer have to deal with this person.

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    've called them out REPEATEDLY before. It just leads to giant fights and I just get more lies to cover the lies. Hence why I'd rather not interact with this person at all... but since I have to for another several months.... and I still need to peacefully interact with this person... I can't really see any way to quickly get out of conversations other than basic 'yes/no/idk I haven't decided' type lies to avoid talking about shit that isn't their business.

    Everything. Anything.
    Shit that comes up during times I'm force to interact that I don't feel like talking about. Anything this person asks that I don't feel like answering.
    Huh. I am in the same boat as you are. Except I'm the one being lied to. I have told her, though, that I will never lie to her nor make promises I would not be able to keep. So I rather keep it truthful as much as it hurts. Because a lie is 10 times worst than the truth. I have kept my word. With that said, I don't think it is OK to lie to someone just because they lied to you. I don't know, that's just me. though. Maybe I'm misreading your comments but it seems there are issues that you don't want to talk about? It is always good to talk about things. Regardless what they are. But, again, that is just me.

    Ps. You are not my girlfriend, are you? You sure sound like her. lol.

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    I find that generally liars are hypocrites who get the *most* angry and bothered if u try to lie back to them. They're the first to go around telling people what a liar they think u are, and basically condemning u for it. Happened yrs earlier with a bullshittin cousin (always made up stories bout scoring dates she never actually had) and also with a stupid guy. It's very annoying and often better to just cut these liars out of your life.

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    If they lie, lie back

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    Default Re: Is it okay to lie to someone who lies to you?

    If lying bothers you, don't do it. I have a couple of friends who lie about stupid things all the time, which gets frustrating, but they don't ask me that many questions that are intrusive. I still have people who ask me where I am, where I'm going, who I'm with, what I'm doing, and it's like living in a constant pop quiz. Then, after they've asked and I've had to parse through how much information I would be comfortable with sharing and managing the details of an answer while trying to keep within the range of their sensibilities, it turns out nearly every time that the person was just being annoying as a way to introduce a request that I do something pretty much unrelated to the question for them. My current method, rather than to go through all of the analysis and detail any more, is to provide the most general answer I can. Where am I? Eastern side of Pennsylvania. What am I doing? Talking to you on the phone. Who am I with? Nobody right now, I'm on the phone. Etc.
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