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Thread: Bills Bills Bills

  1. #1
    Senior Member carabella's Avatar
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    Dizzy Bills Bills Bills

    I'm getting calls from every angle reminding me i owe money. I know i can earn the money if i work hard enough but one thing in my way is my husband. He's going on leave from work and will be home all day everyday for 2 weeks, I don't like to work when he's home and it makes me feel weird but i really gotta do it at this point. I need help. Do i work while he's home, or do i wait till he goes back to work. He leaves to iraq for a year in May and i feel like i should be cherishing our time together. I hate when i always have a heavy feeling in my stomach when i worry about this stuff and i try to ignore it but i gotta be responsible. When i think it over i keep going in circles.

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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    I may be in the miniority with my comments but here goes:

    1.) Who pays the MAJORITY of the bills? You? Him? or both?
    I'm thinking it's either you or both since you're worried about it.

    2.) Does he know what you do for a living? I'm guessing yes. If you can
    hide that then I need some tips.

    Conclusion: While he is HERE in the states, HE should be covering those bills if he wants you to cherish the time he has left here. Simply tell him you need a break from bills and ask if he can cover your half. Tell him you're stressed out and you need a break from work for awhile and plus you want to spend time with him before he leaves. If he says "no"/ he cannot do it....go to work. You'll see him when he gets back from Iraq.

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    Veteran Member Mistress Anika's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    Also hes going to be making more while hes deployed, or are you already counting that money in the bill equation? I know that doesn't stop the calls this moment but i know it can help.

    Does he have any problem with you camming while he's home or is it just you that feels uncomfortable. I always feel a bit weird knowing my bf is in the livingroom while i'm working and feel like i should be spending the time with him instead.
    You've got a few options here,
    1) Send him out with the boys for awhile and work then
    2) Wait until he falls asleep (dont know why but once my bf falls asleep working dosnt stress me out that hes home)
    3) Turn on your music, have him turn up the tv and suck it up. After the first show, its all down hill from there.

    Schedule time for both of you, That year apart is pretty rough. Good luck with what ever you decided but remember even if you take the whole time off to spend with him. Your still going to be stressing yourself out over bills and work. Talk to him maybe you both can find a stress-reduced middle ground.

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  5. #4
    Senior Member carabella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    Thanks so much he pays most of the bills including rent. My old apartment wouldnt let me out of my leasae so i pay the rent there and my own bills. He knows what i do and doesnt even have a problem with it so im not sure why it bugs me so much to do it when he's around. I talked to my mom and she broke it down for me and you make THE ULTIMATE points in this situation TouringGirlfriend. One reason why i freaked out is cause i lost my MFC account and having the hardest time getting my new SM account in a good placement.

    One thing i need to but always avoid is talking about money problems with my husband cause im so used to being independent and i get ashamed when ii realize im putting us both in debt but its true i need to communicate.

    My mom would usually be who i talk to about issues but she has no idea how i make money but u broke it down and gave me the same kiinda relief my mom would by responding alone. Thanks so much mama TouringGirlriend

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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    In my country, a man is the head of the household. He should be taking care of ALL the bills (let's not debate this ladies/I know it's not the same for everyone.) However, If MY man was in a tight spot, I am always willing to do what is need to relieve his stress. In your situation, either he helps you or he doesn't. Sounds like he's a good man because it takes one hell of a man to let his wife work as a camgirl. My ex boyfriend was not going for it and guess what? That's why he's an EX!

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    Hey hun, I can relate! I hope you can get out this. It's a rough situation, things are bad economically.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess roast's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    If your bills have gone to collections and theyre the ones calling be aware that they are not supposed to call so frequently - if you usually answer your phone and speak to them, remain composed, and say "Hi, can I have your full name and where you are calling from? OK, according to the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act your phone calls are excessive. Please send me the debts owed to you in writing to my mailing address."

    or some version of that

    I admit it does not resolve your problem at all but collection agencies are encouraged to circumvent FDCPA as most people they call are too terrified/embarrassed to invoke their rights - so they can get ruthless. If the bills are third party, they bought your debts and can sometimes inflate the cost that you owe (hence why great to get in writing and you can more carefully sort it all out on your own time).... and honestly that incessant calling sh!t is just icing on the anxiety attack cake

    Money just drills a hole in your brain when you don't have enough - that plus the stress of your BF heading off must be rough to be present for the time he has.... agreed that communication can give you so much wiggle worm

    Totally unsolicited advice that may not at all be what youre looking for but everyone else said it better and that's roast's version of big hugs (aka here's some random shit) so <3





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  10. #8
    Senior Member carabella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    <3 hugs and kisses i so appreciate it. I was having such a freak out earlier on top of a pregnancy scare but im going to divide and conquer each issue and stop focusing on everything. My head nearly exploded lol and (totally out of character for me) had a shot of patron and sat down and started to write things down. The hubby can't wait to come home and talk about it and make me chill out lol.

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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    .....
    Last edited by SexiCal; 06-22-2012 at 04:31 AM. Reason: N/A
    "If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents - start charging for it." - Kim Garst


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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    You've got to get out from under your old lease. You're getting scammed. You're a MilSpouse (I assume) and should be allowed out, based on your husband covering your living costs with his BAH. Seriously, PM me if you ever wanna chat.

    My guy has been deployed for a couple of months, now. He's gone for a year, as well.

    Good luck.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

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  13. #11
    Senior Member carabella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    Quote Originally Posted by vivianbear View Post
    You've got to get out from under your old lease. You're getting scammed. You're a MilSpouse (I assume) and should be allowed out, based on your husband covering your living costs with his BAH. Seriously, PM me if you ever wanna chat.

    My guy has been deployed for a couple of months, now. He's gone for a year, as well.

    Good luck.
    I tried everything but since the lease was never in his name at my old place, it doesnt matter what the army does to help. Its bullshit they keep taking $500 for a place i dont even use and they wouldnt agree to sublet or anythingi have 2mo. left so that'll be gone soon. On the other hand i know i'll be having a hard time with this deployment so i will be PMing you just for some words of wisdom and help if you u dont mind

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    Veteran Member Mistress Anika's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    Vivianbear brings up an awesome point about the lease. I was let out of a cell phone contract in my name when my fiancée (at the time) was going to be deployed. Sucks that your rental company is being a jerk about the whole situation.

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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    I'm in the same boat-ish. Breadwinner in my relationship, boyfriend finally just got a job!!! but doesn't get paid til May (monthly of course) and since we live in a studio, I've only been able to work when he's working - no tv, you can see everywhere from any point in the apartment, so it just doesn't make sense.

    Anyway, since I got laid off in January all my bills are going crazy - I just saved all the numbers as "Xblock" and ignore them all when they call, and I'm waiting until May1 when bf is finding somewhere else temporary to live until we can get back on our feet. until then I'm just working my ass off on daytime hours, and it appears Streamate may be the ticket!! if you ever need to talk PM of course, we're here for you!

    So if you want to be with me
    With these things there’s no telling
    We just have to wait and see
    But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
    Than waiting to win the lottery
    Besides maybe this time is different
    I mean I really think you like me

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    God/dess laurielegs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bills Bills Bills

    Quote Originally Posted by carabella View Post
    The hubby can't wait to come home and talk about it and make me chill out lol.
    This is golden The fact that he can't wait to talk about it tells a lot. To me communication in a close relationship is everything.

    It's going to be easy to feel guilty for taking time to work, but I'm sure he will realize it's necessary and maybe be able to help you out by making sure you have meals and what you need to keep going.

    Also, it's easy to overdo things when you are in a panic wanting to work as much as you can. Maybe you can work like crazy for a few days, then take an entire day off to spend it together, and that way you can have a little balance and rest as well as some time with him before he has to go.

    I'm finding there is no substitute for an entire day off. (Wednesdays seem super slow for me so that's the day I'm trying to pick for myself).

    (((hugs)))

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