Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 32

Thread: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    it really hurt me and i cant seem to shake it.

    first comment was about my boobs...that they were uneven and well--they are slightly ok but whatever u dont have to mention it... second was about my stomach and that i need to lose weight in my stomach, then my stretchmarks on my belly from having a kid...then having wierd nipples, then about my skin--used to break out alot...etc...hes a very honest guy and has also said good things about my appearance as well--just brutally honest i guess. he also said he would stop dating me if i got fat-that im a good weight right now but if i get huge "dont be suprised if i stop sleeping with you lol" i dont think his motive behind these comments were intended to hurt me so deeply. but they have. i told him to never speak that way ever again and he said he didnt realize he hurt me so badly so he stopped and has said only positive things about my appearance...

    i feel so ugly and cannot forgive him. he apologized and stop yet im still angry and bring it up sometimes when we fight--am i being rediculous? are some people just more blunt than others and really dont mean any harm? i know im extremely sensitive--my feelings always get hurt easily. ugh

  2. #2
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Is this the same boyfriend that beat you up?

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member johnjdick's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Dallas TX
    Posts
    272
    Thanks
    92
    Thanked 203 Times in 95 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    He's just being a manipulative douche, hon. He's trying to make you feel worthless so you don't leave him. Don't pay him any mind. Seriously, those kind of comments are well known as manipulation techniques. It's one of the first things that anyone who ever looks into the subject learns.

    Advice for you, and any girl who works in the adult industry: Pick up a copy of "The Layguide". It's the pick up artist's bible. Not only will it teach you to recognize when someone is trying to play you, a lot of the techniques also apply in reverse and can be used by women at work on customers.
    Greetings Earthlings. We are aliens from a planet of vegetable fuckers. We cum in peas.

    http://www.facebook.com/johnjdick

  5. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to johnjdick For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    well he didnt exactly beat me up...but yea hes pushed me around...im sick of his shit. seriously.

  7. #5
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    So leave.

  8. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  9. #6
    Member
    Joined
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    im going to ..

    i really need advice on how to get my self esteem back...tahts why im having a hard time leaving. i feel extremely low.

  10. #7
    God/dess DesuvsDeath's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    4,016
    Thanks
    2,110
    Thanked 4,475 Times in 2,023 Posts
    My Mood
    Brooding

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    He tosses you around, he makes you feel bad about your body... do you need him to walk to the front door and hold it open for you?

    You aren't going to be able to work on rebuilding your self esteem while you're still with this guy.

    My advice:
    Either leave... or just accept that you're going to feel like shit forever.
    Quote Originally Posted by camille27 View Post
    i am losing my fucking mind and i really just want this chloroform dream because i think that would just get me right with jesus.

  11. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to DesuvsDeath For This Useful Post:


  12. #8
    God/dess seashell's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Lucid Dreaming
    Posts
    3,524
    Thanks
    6,585
    Thanked 8,120 Times in 2,627 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    It's not cool for your boyfriend to say things like that. What are you supposed to do about uneven boobs and stretch marks?!? Unless he wants to pay for surgery, fuck that. And to say that he wouldn't sleep with you if you got fat?! That's just him being an asshole.

    At least he apologized. The good thing is that he listened to you and stopped the behavior that bothered you. I'd have a hard time forgiving & forgetting those things, too -- I mean, it's your body that you have to live with and look at every day. But if he truly seems to have stopped being a jerk, you should just try to move on. Think about all the things you like about yourself, and don't listen so much to other people, even your bf, for validation. At the end of the day you're responsible for your own confidence, so own it. : )

    ETA: Yiiikes, I didn't realize he was pushing you around. : ( That changes things. You're definitely not being oversensitive, girl... you'll be much, much happier when you get away from that jerk.

  13. #9
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    This is a guy who became physically abusive! You need to break up with him. Why are you with him?

    Even though he has postives, he does have negatives that are set "I wont be sleeping with you if you gain weight" Sure people have turn ons and offs.. but he should not be so cruel over such things and love you for you, not because you gained weight, or dyed your hair or whatever etc. He seems like a self-fish jerk. It'll only get worse within years... I do hope you find inner strength.

  14. #10
    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    2,447
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked 1,534 Times in 805 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Quote Originally Posted by trudykins1 View Post
    im going to ..

    i really need advice on how to get my self esteem back...tahts why im having a hard time leaving. i feel extremely low.
    Break up with him asap. You are the one who needs to earn your self esteem back.. Hes not giving it back to you. You need to. Start getting into hobbies, out, work etc.. You'll start to love yourself. Keep thinking postive things about yourself and dont take the stuff he says to heart. Its all in the mind.

  15. #11
    God/dess Trem's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,958
    Thanks
    1,714
    Thanked 3,253 Times in 1,343 Posts
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Quote Originally Posted by trudykins1 View Post
    im going to ..

    i really need advice on how to get my self esteem back...tahts why im having a hard time leaving. i feel extremely low.
    You get your self esteem back by not being around scum like him.

  16. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Trem For This Useful Post:


  17. #12
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    160
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 58 Times in 38 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Please leave this guy asap, he is physically abusive and seems to be mentally abusive also.

    In my younger days I said a lot of stupid insensitive things to girls I dated. I just didn't realize how many girls had body issues and how sensitive they are to them. As I have aged I have become a lot smarter about keeping my mouth shut and how to tactifully say things so as not to offend and cause pain. Girls I just want you to know that guys say a lot of things that are hurtful to you about your bodies without any idea that they will cause you pain.

  18. #13
    God/dess firemaiden04's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    2,652
    Thanks
    3,054
    Thanked 2,005 Times in 903 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    As long as you're with him, you're not going to be able to forget about the shit he's said. My ex's ideal woman was stick-thin, like anorexic. Like Calista Flockhart at her skinniest. And it wasn't until we broke up that I realized how much his criticisms affected me.

    I agree that this is a manipulation technique. By making you feel like shit, he makes himself feel better, and he also makes it so that you start to view yourself as worth less than him; therefore you will tolerate more and more of his bullshit, and all the while you will consider yourself lucky to be with him. It's bullshit. Ditch him--as soon as you're away from his abuse and negativity, you will start to feel so much better about yourself.

  19. #14
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Location
    tampa
    Posts
    1,582
    Thanks
    178
    Thanked 394 Times in 179 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    LEAVE! What a dirtbag!

    You will not rediscover your self-esteem until you get away from him because he will continue to make you feel like shit in an attempt to keep you from leaving. This emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse (which he has apparently also used).

    Are you in a situation where you can walk away? Do you live together?

  20. #15
    Member camarochick's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2011
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    64
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    guys dont think with there brains i guess
    i wouldnt let his remarks bother you

  21. #16
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Colorado!
    Posts
    6,053
    Thanks
    3,775
    Thanked 3,701 Times in 1,713 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Get rid of this ass face. Are you serious? I'm assuming he lives with you? Go stay with a girl friend, a family member or SOMETHING. And before you leave, point out all of HIS flaws- I'd say the primary one is that he's stupid.

  22. #17
    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Hamburg, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    10,607
    Thanks
    2,705
    Thanked 13,685 Times in 4,414 Posts
    Blog Entries
    5
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    I would leave, but that's just me.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

  23. #18
    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Great White North
    Posts
    3,605
    Thanks
    2,475
    Thanked 2,620 Times in 1,383 Posts
    My Mood
    Chatty

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Quote Originally Posted by mediocrity View Post
    Get rid of this ass face. Are you serious? I'm assuming he lives with you? Go stay with a girl friend, a family member or SOMETHING. And before you leave, point out all of HIS flaws- I'd say the primary one is that he's stupid.

    This^

    Dumbass man. Leave baby girl - you don't need such a downer-douchebag in your life.

    Find a real man who can appreciate your beauty and respect your boundaries.



  24. #19
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Quote Originally Posted by camarochick View Post
    guys dont think with there brains i guess
    i wouldnt let his remarks bother you
    Some women don't use their brains much either, it seems.

    I think she should let his remarks bother her just enough to leave his ass. Especially if there is physical as well as mental abuse.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  25. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Djoser For This Useful Post:


  26. #20
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    My ex used to insult me in really subtle ways and when you're the one involved with the person it's hard to step back and see just how badly he's hurting your self esteem. I didn't know it was as bad as it was until I was gone. He gave me a complex about my ass and once always had a way of making me feel like I wasn't quite good enough.

  27. #21
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2010
    Location
    the pants party,
    Posts
    798
    Thanks
    936
    Thanked 526 Times in 231 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Quote Originally Posted by DesuvsDeath View Post
    He tosses you around, he makes you feel bad about your body... do you need him to walk to the front door and hold it open for you?

    You aren't going to be able to work on rebuilding your self esteem while you're still with this guy.

    My advice:
    Either leave... or just accept that you're going to feel like shit forever.
    once again, desuvsdeath says it best.

    Seriously, what are you thinkin lady? LEAVE HIM.

  28. #22
    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Atl
    Posts
    3,429
    Thanks
    4,881
    Thanked 2,349 Times in 1,220 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    Yeah not a healthy relationship...He isn't adding anything to your relationship, he's taking from you. The world beats you up every day & the people around you are suppose to pick you up, he isn't. Leave life is to short.

  29. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to unbeleavable For This Useful Post:


  30. #23
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Tampa
    Posts
    4,035
    Thanks
    278
    Thanked 586 Times in 346 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    -Eleanor Roosevelt

    Dump him. Why anyone stays with someone that physically and verbally abuses them, I will never understand.

  31. #24
    Banned
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    11,037
    Thanks
    1,891
    Thanked 5,124 Times in 3,086 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    OP, leave NOW. He has all the makings of a violent abusive man and if you don't leave you will be killed by him. Many violent men start by being verbally abusive.

    In my past I dated two men who were verbally abusive. Both attacked my body every chance they could get. One of them would actually put me on a scale and if I weighed more than 110 he would order me a salad with no dressing at a restaurant. He would also complain to my best friend about my "fatness". The second guy I lived with and when he was drunk (which was often)he would complain about something. Both messed with my self esteem for a while but it made me stronger and I will never allow a man to verbally abuse me again (and never did several boyfriends later). When the second guy started to physically threatened me I knew I had to leave and I did. In hindsight I wish I had moved out earlier. Years later I saw him and he tried to say something and I walked away. That felt good. Why I allowed them to do this to me I have no idea, probably because at the time I was desperate for a boyfriend and both were much older Both 15+ years older).

  32. #25
    Featured Member dixievista's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2011
    Location
    the beach ;)
    Posts
    727
    Thanks
    974
    Thanked 618 Times in 301 Posts

    Default Re: I cant get over the negative remarks my boyfriend made about my body...

    OP - I can't possibly IMAGINE what you're going through, and I am so so sorry this happened to you. His remarks and his abuse have NOTHING to do with you - it's not your fault, it's his own insecurities at play.

    It's true, the best thing you can do is leave, ASAP - but I get that sometimes it's just not possible for a variety of reasons.

    If you can't leave right now, you can at least work on your self esteem - you already know it's a problem so congrats! you're halfway to fixing it Spend time thinking about yourself and doing things for yourself, like make a list of things you like about your personality, or what features of your body you like and why you think you're sexy - who cares what he thinks??! If you can build up your self-esteem, you can make every day a little easier.

    You should make plans to change the relationship or leave if possible - maybe it's a certain amount of money you need to hide away to be able to leave, maybe it's couples counseling, but whatever it is, figure out what you want and how to get it, and then make a list - if you have a list of steps/things to get to your goal, you're more likely to do. Hell, make a thread out of it so you're holding yourself publicly accountable! Everyone here obviously cares a lot about you.

    Good luck dear!!

    So if you want to be with me
    With these things there’s no telling
    We just have to wait and see
    But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
    Than waiting to win the lottery
    Besides maybe this time is different
    I mean I really think you like me

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Ready made vegan food- boyfriend is going crazy!
    By angelicat in forum Body Business
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 01-17-2009, 01:53 AM
  2. Was Bored; Made a Body Chain
    By Zinaida in forum Body Business
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02-28-2008, 09:33 PM
  3. Boyfriend made me quit dancing...
    By Jessica129 in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-12-2004, 04:08 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •