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Thread: Anyone else dislike regulars?

  1. #1
    Member Mollytov's Avatar
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    Duh Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Or is it just me?

    I've only been dancing for a couple months, and I can't say I've had a long term regular customer yet, but I've had several that only want to see me, buy me gifts, etc.

    They make me terribly uncomfortable! And for some reason, they seem to think that now that we're "friends", they don't have to spend any real money on me or get dances, they just want to sit with me at the bar and tell me about their lives.

    I have a hard time shutting them down because they're all genuinely nice guys and I enjoy their company for the most part, but most of them are costing me money every time they walk in the door. There is one exception, but I think he really wants to become my sugar daddy and is just trying to tempt me into it.

    I also have a hard time dancing on stage or giving lap dances to anyone I feel like I know well. It's like I have sexy mode and friend mode, and never the twain shall meet...

    Anyone else like this? How did you get over it? I know I need to be more strict with my time, but my heart still sinks whenever a regular of mine comes in. I'm so much happier dancing for strangers...Argh!

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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    I always strongly discouraged regulars, or any type of "relationship" OTC, whether that relationship involved a sugar-daddy situation, or just meeting for coffee. I have NEVER seen a situation with a regular NOT turn out poorly in the end--and the end tends to be sooner rather than later. I watched all the other girls and their extreme drama with regulars, and I saw how in the end the money wasn't worth the aggravation. I guess I had "regular" customers, but I would more consider them casual, loyal customers than what the general idea of a "regular" is. They knew my schedule, they would come in on days that I worked (usually once a week, like they'd come in every Tuesday), they would tip me on stage, buy lots of dances, then go home. They didn't have any of my contact info, we never met up OTC. It was very low-stress, and I liked it. I probably missed out on some money by not cultivating serious regulars, but I find that, for me, it's worth it in the long run not to have to worry about drama and aggravation from angry, needy, possessive, obsessive regulars who have gone crazy.

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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Just try and figure out which ones you need to cut and which are worth keeping. Regulars are my bread and butter but I wont put up with them all. I just focus on the ones who spend well and arent going to waste my time. It depends on your personality I suppose what works for you but most the top earners at my club have big spending regulars (as in $500-$1000 a week, every week).

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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    I work in a holiday town so regulars are few and far between. I have one real regular that I can count on.
    He comes in once or twice a week and stays all night. In the busy times this annoyed me as sometimes he'd stay all night and only buy drinks (other times he spends a small fortune on VIP) but now we're quiet I'm very glad I can count on him.
    He doesn't speak english and our verbal communication is limited so he's only asked to take me out once and I pretended I didn't understand.
    I find him creepy and weird, but he's harmless and I think if sitting at the bar with me for a few hours a week makes him happy, then I'm glad to make him happy.

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    Veteran Member Kat w's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    I have had regulars in the past but the majority of them have been more trouble then they were worth. I have one good regular now but other than him I am reluctant to ever cultivate a "reg" relationship again.

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Does not want! I am not a fan of regulars at all. Unless they are super-perfectly-well behaved-adoring-generous regulars, I cannot stand the thought of them. I've had a few perfecto regs.... but even they crap out over time. Either they get clingy, want to meet outside, want to push boundaries, want to spend nothing or become generally annoying.

    So yeah, regulars are never my goal. I try to be ephemeral and remain aloof. Fuck the head games. Regulars are not for me.

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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    I feel like I'm in several relationships at once if I have regulars, and like others said... they try to push boundaries or don't want to spend money after awhile. I don't have time for that- I prefer my irregular regulars that I only see once or twice a month at most. They're the best kind.

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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    I feel you. When my club only had table dances for no set price, the only way I could make good money was if I had regulars because most of the customers seemed to think $5 a dance was okay and $10 was mindblowingly generous. On nights that none of my regulars were in it would be a horrible game of "let's find the $20 tippers." But omg they were so annoying and high maintenance. So much sitting and talking and having to remember all the stupid conversations you've already had. I never realized how taxing regulars were until my club put in private rooms. Now it's my goal to get a guy in the booth within one song, and if they require more time sitting and chatting, fuck them. Seriously. The only regulars that are worth having now IMO are the ones that will get like 5 dances in a row and then disappear until it's time for more, and maybe require me to have a shot or two with them max. Other than that, yuck. I don't even sit with guys anymore unless I'm forced to because they ask, but even then I'll say no if it's busy.

    Sorry for the rant, but yeah I really hate regulars too. It's entirely possible to phase them out though. Just spend a little less time with them each time they come in, and then get to a point where you just smile, walk by, and tell them you're sorry you've been so busy lately. Then cut back to giving them a little smile and wave and walk by even faster, and finally just stop making eye contact at all. I've done this before. If your club is dead, you might have to spend a little time with him, but whenever it's busy run away. They'll either disappear or start giving you more money than ever.

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    God/dess seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    I hate regulars, too. There's something about the way they expect you to act with them, like you're in a relationship, that's a total mindfuck. And it sucks when they get needy or obsessive... or they start asking you to meet them outside the club.

    I had one longtime regular who went to VIP with me every week for months, and while it was great at first, he eventually became overly needy and offended that I wouldn't see him outside the club, wouldn't make out with him, etc... and he became a huge diva, making me wait before we went to VIP, knowing he was in control because he was spending money. It culminated in me giving him a really shitty VIP session and then yelling at him for being a jerk. I lost out on a lot of $$$, but who cares... it's not worth it if you're putting up with a grade A asshole.

    If you have guys that want to be regs, but don't want to spend money (dumbasses... lol), make sure to ask them for a dance or VIP right away, and if they say no, let them know you need to get to work. You have bills to pay, you need to earn *this much* by the end of the night... they should understand that you're there to work, not to hang out. That helps to sort out the spenders from the nonspenders.

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    God/dess 4everresolutions's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Quote Originally Posted by seashell View Post
    I hate regulars, too. There's something about the way they expect you to act with them, like you're in a relationship, that's a total mindfuck. And it sucks when they get needy or obsessive... or they start asking you to meet them outside the club.
    This is why I HATE regulars. I know some girls say "I have great regulars, blah, blah, blah..." but then I always hear them cursing and getting pissed off in the DR about their "great regulars".

    I can't take needy people, and I honestly have no desire to build 'relationships' with the people I dance for. I mean, if you come in a couple times and get dances for me; great! If I remember you ("Oh, you were here with the Bachelor party last weekend! You're an engineer!"), even better I suppose; but I don't want to feel obligated to remember your dogs name, your ex-wifes birthday, or that you have a timeshare in Cancun that you *might* take me to next October if I'm a 'good girl' . Fuck that.

    To the OP; try and make it known to your potential regular customers that they have to pay for your time. Say "I'd love to sit and chat, but I've to get back to work; how about some dances?" If they say no, say "Well, maybe later then!" and walk away. That'll drive the message home. You're not there to hang out for free and don't feel compelled to.



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    Senior Member Sapphire9's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    yeah i agree with the post above me^ if they start telling you about their lives and then ask you how you're doing just be like "great, but i really need to make money this week, i have ___ to pay for..." and then just say that you need to look for some guys to talk to and excuse yourself. You shouldn't have to feel obligated to sit with them.

    My regulars and my clubs regulars in general are just as annoying. If i didnt give myself a little mental pep talk about how much money they give me before i start my shift, i'd go crazy. They basically tell me everything going on with their lives and i just dont care.lol. i feel bored and they put me in a "i want to leave early" mood.
    In the words of Lil Wayne, "Confidence is the stain they can't wipe off"

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Regulars are a lot more mental and emotional work than I'm willing to put up with (most of the time), and I just don't work a regular enough schedule to cultivate them easily. They also expect contact OTC in the form of email/phone calls, and I just don't like doing that. Emails I can do, but not excessive and constant ones.

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    Featured Member rareaspasia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Lately, I go through regulars like a weedwacker through shit because I have a low bullshit tolerance level and most guys become regulars because they are so BATSHIT that women in real life can't stand them. So mine last a few months and I do my best to keep them happy without lying to them or leading them on and then they realize that no, I'm seriously not going to date them/marry them/fuck them and then it's over. I don't stress when they expire because there's always someone else waiting around the corner to take his place. I've had a few that aren't annoying and crazy but those guys are few and far between in the Cocoa Beach area. I've grown to vastly prefer a quick hustle that leads to doing a bunch of dances than an actual "relationship." It's much less complicated and irritating.

    To the OP, you need to remember that you're there to work, not make friends. You're making a common new dancer mistake, one that I made too, by giving too much of your time away and feeling guilty because girls are usually raised to be nice and we feel weird and guilty when we have to be "mean" to people or ignore them in favor of paying customers. You want to be friendly with your customers but don't believe for a minute that they don't have agendas. They are NOT your friends. They may seem like nice guys but ultimately they want to fuck you and/or date you. That is their primary motive. So they are taking advantage of you and being disrespectful. If they were actually your friends they would be respectful of the fact that you are working and that your time is valuable and they would pay you.

    So don't ever feel bad about shutting them down. They know damn well that they should be giving you money. I read on here once that when a customer tells a new girl not to become "jaded" and to "stay nice", what he really means is, "don't stop giving away your time for free and don't learn how to make really good money by ignoring my cheap ass." That's not an exact quote and I don't remember who wrote it but it is SO TRUE!!!

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    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Im lucky that in the places I work r divey so don't have vips, I have guys that always dance with me but don't come in for just me argh!, when I used to work in big clubs I had a few regs for short times because they always wanted too much.
    xoxo

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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Oh shit I had a big fight with my boss about a regular last night and walked out. Can't decide whether to call him today, just go in to talk later or do nothing and leave it until next week. I NEVER kick up a fuss so hopefully it should blow over.
    Goddammit. I just don't like being left for 45min with mr feely feelerson for the price of 20min. Twice!!!

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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Used to hate regulars when I allowed them to get too close, now I just keep them at arm's length by being elusive yet still alluring. Very brief emails only, no phone calls or anything like that, and being honest with them about my marital status really helps keep them at bay; If they really liked me enough to still see me regardless of my being married, then they are good people and deserve to continue to see me. I have a few guys who see me all the time, and who have accepted their role of just being a customer and nothing more.

  27. #17
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    Default Re: Anyone else dislike regulars?

    Yeah I do, but while it's lucrative I use them as much as they use me. At the end of the day, it's all about the money. The instant they stop paying me is the instant it's not worth it anymore and I'm onto the next. Good regs understand the deal honestly.
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