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Thread: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

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    Sad fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    I work in a club where I am not the typical "look" big boobs blonde. Sometimes I get really afraid to approach customers because I know I wont be their type. Especially when I see them buying dances from the girl who is opposite me. Sometimes I get my hustle on sometimes Im a scared wallflower..

    When there less girls and customers I do well because Im not as intimidated by competition. When the club gets packed I get so overwhelmed I just hide out in the dressing room or sit at the bar nursing my drink. I get so caught up in my fear that I just cant approach a customer and when I do its sooo awkward and nerve wracking.

    Can anyone give me tips on how to get over the fear of approaching/rejection and how to deal with high volumes of customers and dancers without getting ran over? I had a horrible night all because of my fear and Im Feeling really discouraged I need to know how to work the room and approach groups. Im the worst at figuring out who to apprach I always seem to get the ones who dont spend money
    Last edited by vixenluv; 04-21-2011 at 01:20 AM.

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    Member Halliwell's Avatar
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    Default Re: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    I can give u my best advice. I get shy at times and then i figured out what worked my friend once told me "there is no such thing as a bad question, if you dont ask, you dont know" I always think of that when I ask for a dance, then I always assume that the customer is going to say no, so when he does, i am not let down. If you go up to a customer with hope, ur just setting urself up for disappointment. Worst case, and I am not getting any dances, I just assume all the customers are gay :o)

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    Default Re: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    As far as picking out which guys want dances, you can always watch who is buying from other girls and go up to them when they're available. There are a lot of stereotypes that you can use to pre-judge people to see who's likely to buy dances, but you never really know -- and most guys that act like they don't want dances can still be sold to, if you work that charm and sex appeal.

    Overcoming your fear of approaching people is something that comes with experience, so just keep pushing yourself. You should be able to confidently approach anyone -- you're a hot girl who's going to get naked and dance around, and EVERY guy in the club wants in on that. If you need to, when approaching groups, wait until there's another girl with one of the guys, so that you're not alone (plus guys are more likely to buy dances/sit with you if their friends are doing it). Yes, there's competition, but you just have to believe in yourself and know that you're worth it. Stroke your ego and fake it till ya make it.

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    Default Re: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    Girl, I've been in this business for 8 years and there are nights that I still get like that or were.. (I haven't worked in 3 wks..LOL). I remember reading on SW somewhere, to make it into a game. Walk up to every available guy and see how many no's you can get. It sounds counterproductive but when you're actually trying to get no's, you're not as disappointed when you get one. I'm not explaining it right but all I'm saying is that this job can be easier if you look at it like more of a game. Or pretend that you're selling drinks. Not everyone wants a drink all the time. But it's easier to hear "no" if you're selling a drink rather than selling yourself. You have to realize (as do I) that it's not always YOU they are saying no to, it's the service you are offering

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    Default Re: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    I was going to say what Kaiarose said. I have this same problem sometimes and probably a few years ago someone said the "make the no's a game thing" and now when I'm in this mood I walk around the room and make a game out of how many no's I can get till I get a yes. It really helps. Whoever said this was a genius. It becomes a game instead of rejection you take to heart.
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    Default Re: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    Sometimes you can prejudge customers and sometimes you can't.

    That being said, don't prejudge what you think their tastes are or how much money they'll spend.




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    Default Re: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    Hey it never hurts, why not? Even if it only pans out 5% of the time, that's still free money

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    Default Re: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    I've only been dancing for 3 months, so I'm still trying 2 learn how to hustle, but I find sometimes that having a "hustle buddy" helps. My friend and I go up 2 guys 2gether, so if they say no we can laugh it off 2gether and its not as embarassing as being rejected alone. Plus we both could make money off the guy/guys if it works out. I realize that some girls prefer working alone, but this can help get over the initial fear of rejection. And thanks 2 all the previous responders, you girls gave me some good ideas and tips. Good luck!

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    Default Re: fear of approaching/rejection + competition is killing my hustle

    I feel you girl...I used to be just like you and there are still some guys that intimidate me. But the way I look at it is kinda like Lexi said. I know that I will never see these guys outside in real life. I also like to keep in my mind that this is a job and most likely if these guys didn't meet me at the club and met me outside I wouldn't give them the time of day. Am I gonna feel bad cuz some loser that probably can't get girls in real life turned me down? Nope not at all. So what if he got a dance from that hot blonde? He's not dancing with her now and it might be time for a change of flavor. It's all about the $$$$ and even if there's a 5% chance he will say yes I will take that chance rather than sit in the locker room where no one will see me cuz then I have a 0% chance of a yes.

    As time goes on you will grow a thicker skin. I also like to lie about things. Like everything...even stupid things. I give them my stage name and if they ask me any personal questions I lie. That way if they do reject me I feel like they rejected that girl I was pretending to be and not me. Try to distance yourself. Remember you will get no's and usually a lot more rejections than yes's

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