Please delete.



Please delete.
Last edited by The Contessa; 08-01-2011 at 01:03 AM. Reason: Delete





Wow! That is very sad to hear. However, Lemme ask, is this your husband or your boyfriend?
If it's just a boyfriend then I'll be saying bye bye to him and not camming. Never put a man before your finances. Now if it's your husband it's a different story. Anyways, Good luck in whatever you decide!




I have to agree with this. If he hasn't put a ring on it, then he shouldn't get to dictate what YOU do with YOUR life, escpecially if he isn't supporting you financially. Men come and go, but you stay with you forever, so you have to look at what's best for yourself in the long run!But the good thing is that it sounds like you aren't just doing it for him, and I can definitely understand how you feel, about living a lie. I can't tell anyone I know irl and sometimes I definitely feel guilty but I remind myself that's it's my life and my bills. If someone wants to tell me how to live my life then I will gladly let them take care of my electricity bill, put food on my table, and put a roof over my head as well
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You know, it's my boyfriend. I'm kind of wondering why I'm staying with him. That's a WHOLE other post, though. It's true, he is in the way of my finances. I do ok stripping, but I only work two nights a week.
We were just about to move in together.
If I can "make it" with my street performance (30$ an hour would be considered AWESOME) (10 hours a week), then I can continue at this pace. If not... meh.





Does he actually dictate to you though? Your post doesnt mention it. It mentions you doing things and him accepting them (as best he can). The activities may not be an issue to him overall but the lying may be.
A relationship is a two way road. He sounds like hes doing well for a guy coming into this world.
As we dont know all the info its hard to say much really but in the end you'll know whats right.
Sounds like you told him one thing but done another.



That's true, PJ. (And I like your new siggy! It's sexy!)










Gawsh! I guess I'm in the minority with this one but I have a big problem with a man that hasn't put a fat rock on my finger telling me what to do. Yes you told him one thing and did another but who is he to tell you what to do? Can't you just say "Well this is what I want do do now and move on with your life. Is he willing to take care of you? your bills? your ..everything? If so, then I should shutup lol (he's a keeper girl!!) but if not... and you're having to do street performances to make ends meet?
Something's not right here.
Oh just FYI, I was with a man for 2 1/2 years. When he told me to say bye to escorting, I said bye to him instead. If he was willing to give me 5k a month I would have stayed. One thing I hate is a man that tried to control my finances.
end rant! lol!





The post doesnt say he told her what to do though. He was in open communication about pushing limits, which is acceptable and mature I think.
A partner saying "do this and that" and being possessive is a different story though but it can be very hard on partners sometimes to understand this industry when they are alien to it.





I guessed that she's pretty much saying "If I don't stop, he'll be mad at me", "If I don't stop, he'll leave me", "If I don't stop, we'll have problems" (Something along those lines). However, I feel that if he has a problem with what she's doing for a living, he should be footing all the bills. That is what a real, mature man would do IMHO.
Then performers need to find men that understand this industry. I vowed never to date again after my ex because of how it ended. I felt that it was only fair to men out there. I never want to put a man thorough what I put my ex through. Performers should be open from the start about what they do for a living. If the guy doesn't understand then they should hold off or say to hell with him .... unless he is willing and able to take care of home. My thing is if he was so worried about it: He should be the one putting extra hours at work, he should be the one picking up another shift, he should be the one doing street performances until the lady can find a stable job.
There is no such thing as giving my job up for a boyfriend. The man I love? The man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with? My husband? Yes!





Could be right. Hard to know.
If truthful from the start it may be a different story now. He had no problem to begin with but constantly pushing someones limits isnt going to go down well. You have to have a little understanding from his point of view.
To me it sounds like hes doing very well taking on board everything but we all have our breaking points and I wouldnt be too harsh on him considering how well hes been so far.
All speculation as always as we/I dont know the full story
Hard to find a good partner that can accept the industry we are in never mind adding new adult ventures into the mix.
(maybe im just a pushover though)





Yes for now I am just speculating. I am waiting for the OP to come and correct me .. lol!



It has gotten to a point where it's a do this, not that relationship. As in, "You can strip only if you wear a wig and colored contacts". He's afraid customers will recognize me outside of the club while I'm with him, and while he won't admit it, it's clear that the reason is because it will reflect poorly on HIM. Or so he thinks. The way he talks about the women in this industry is naive and hurtful. I explained to him that when he says nasty things about "strippers" in general, or adult entertainers, he's saying that about me. I made it clear that I would not be disrespected in that way, and he ceased. It hurt, though. I never really acknowledged how much it hurt, I just let it slide.
The conversation we had yesterday was because I saw a DJ down on the boardwalk, and I was a dummy and TOLD HIM. I was also a dummy and I waved to the DJ. Oi.
PJ, he has been open and mature about it to a point. I should not, however, have to deal with the "open-ness" if it comes with degradation. Am I right about that?
He doesn't pay my bills, though if I moved in with him my bills would be lessened and I'd be living beachside.
And as for street performance.... it's a hobbyI love close contact theatre/circus. It's raw.
Perhaps that explained some more things. I really appreciate your insight, ladies.





Looks like the decision is clear cut now then![]()





My point exactly...
@ PrincessJenny, I've gotten pretty good at reading in between the lines.
He's pretty much trying to tell her what to do and he has not put a fat rock on her finger yet. Ummm....
This would be automatic termination in my book but then again... It's too easy for me lol!
You know? He should allow you to do what you are comfortable with whether its volunteering at a soup kitchen or doing what you know how to make a living. If he is unable to be supportive or offer an alternative then he should find the right partner that fits his life style. Thats what I thinkas a guy



Yep. This is all getting very clear. I really need girlfriends so I can do this in real life.... but sometimes it's good to come to the best of the best here on SW.
Thank you, thank you, thank you
But Contessa, is the street performing job something you can get started right away and have a nice check in a week or 2? If not, then you should not quit camming just yet, for a man you are not married to. I don't know how old you are or how many boyfriends you have had, but they do come and go easily. What if you quit camming, and then something happens between the 2 of you, and you will be pissed off for quitting your job.
I think everyone here is making a good point. Just make sure you are doing something YOU want to do. I just read your last post, and based on what you said, I would say don't move with him yet. You may want to wait a while and hold on to your independence.
Taking a break from all unproductive shit will prove to be the best choice you can make.




^^I-N-D-E-P-E-D-E-N-C-E...yes!!



>>But Contessa, is the street performing job something you can get started right away and have a nice check in a week or 2?
Once I renew my permit (a 3 day process), I can go out and get cash same day. It's a pass the hat ordeal.
Most importantly just remember if you are not right for him now you wont be 2 days or 20 years from now. Dont lose the time you have right now to be happy. 20 years from now youll start thinking about why you have lost so much time not being able to be yourself and to have somebody that truly supports you and sees you as who you are. You work in a business where everyone sees you for what you look like. Give yourself a chance to have somebody special in your life who sees you for who you are starting at the heart.







^^We're more than happy to remind you...![]()





What BustyAmeera said.
I dont think anyone is being harsh on him. I think its understood its something thats being hidden. That in itsself is not a healthy thing especially if she can not look to him for advice and direction. Hes a person with preferences no rules broken there. Its just that hes asking her to dress up in a disguise because he doesnt want to hide her shame its his. Now that is not a healthy. Ive only tried to point out the compatibility and trust concerns.![]()
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