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Thread: My bf's insecurity

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    Default My bf's insecurity

    I recently told my bf about me wanting to cam. At first he was ok, but then he started spiraling a couple days later. He said that if I had 'a glimmer of success' I was going to move out and leave him.

    He's exactly right. I made terrible life decisions in the past that I take full responsibility for, and I'm ready to move on and make some money. He's in his mid-thirties- I'm 22. I can't believe I'm in this mess, and that I was too blind to see where this was going years ago when I was the insecure one. He wants me to 'help him out around the house'. This whole thing reeks of him taking my money, and I just...cannot deal with this. I recently came out of a terrible and long depression and just realized what I want to do with my life, and he's had ample time.

    I'm being nice to him and I'm massaging his ego, but once he leaves for work the next morning, I will be camming and putting aside money he doesn't know about. When I get enough saved, I'm out of here. At first I felt bad for feeling this way, but reading encouraging posts here have convinced me I don't need to sacrifice my pockets or happiness for a man. This whole thing is just shit.

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    Senior Member CoolBreeze's Avatar
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    Default Re: My bf's insecurity

    Well, you don't sound happy. And his suggesting that if you have "a glimmer of success" camming you'll leave him may or may not be insecurity. Depends on how you two are with each other. Maybe he's just reading the writing on the wall.

    You said you recently came out of a long depression, and I'm assuming he was there supporting you through that depression? What does "helping around the house" mean? Like HELL will I be expected to take care of everything at home unless I'm living there alone. We live together, you kick in with the chores equally because well.. it's our place. Guess I don't understand from what you wrote how he's "after your money", but if you've had none and now will have your own, it's possible that he's scared you'll fly the coop because you'll be able to. Again... writing on the wall, and you said it yourself, he'd be right. Also, he's had ample time for what?

    All that being said however, if you're not happy, you've got every right to move on and should move on. It's great to have someone take care of you financially, but not if that's the only thing keeping you together. Unless that was the arrangement in the first place. And even if it was, if it's not working for you any more, it's time to go.


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    Default Re: My bf's insecurity

    I was writing this in a flurry of emotion, and now I can concentrate. He wasn't exactly helpful, but he accepted the fact that I was depressed. I do a lot, I cook and clean but it's getting old. I've watched him play video games for hours while I'm cooking and trying to get things done. He always says that he could make more money at his job if he got more certifications, but why isn't he doing this instead of playing video games?? He's had enough time to get his shit together.

    He said if I was camming, I could help him out with his mortgage and other things; bills that he was having no problem paying when I was working a low-paying retail job years ago. The relationship started off as a mutual attraction, and he was helping me financially. Now the attraction is gone and I've found a way to get on my feet. I know it's not going to work.

    He did say he would support me if this made me happy, and he wouldn't stand in my way if I wanted to cam.

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    Senior Member CoolBreeze's Avatar
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    Default Re: My bf's insecurity

    I get ya now.

    Sounds like he's gotten lazy and comfortable while you've been working on yourself, your future, and the day to day stuff. You're ready to move forward and he's stuck in the mud. It's great that he's willing to support your choice if it makes you happy, but not so much if he's just thinking now you'll be able to pay his bills so he can be more lazy.

    If the love and respect is gone already, I don't blame you for wanting better.

    Breeze

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    Default Re: My bf's insecurity

    Heck I don't know him nor do I know you and I'm rooting for you. Make your money and get out of there! You won't get rich overnight but you'll make damn good money if you stick to a schedule.

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    Veteran Member taylormadison's Avatar
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    Default Re: My bf's insecurity

    It never hurts to have a plan B.
    Good Luck!

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    Default Re: My bf's insecurity

    What's up with all of these guys playing video games?? Maybe my husband is weird because he doesn't play them? It's strange to me to think of doing these things without your significant other, like who DOES that?

    I digress. You should leave him- whether you admit it or not, you've already made up your mind.

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    Default Re: My bf's insecurity

    double post fail.

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