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Thread: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

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    Default can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    Hi All,

    Sorry if this question has been asked already. I am a new member to this forum, I just signed up tonight. I identify as a lesbian woman. I am a femme lesbian (a femme lesbian is lesbian who has a feminine appearance). When I go to the clubs I just wear a nice pair of jeans and a nice top, nothing sexy/flashy.

    I only go to the strip clubs just to relax and to have fun. I don't go to look to pick up dancers, I don't get drunk, or try to steal the attention away from any of the dancers. but it seems that even when I go to the strip club by myself the dancers never approach me or seldom make eye contact. I truly enjoy going up to tip the ladies at the stage, and i tip very often! the few dancers who have sat and talked to me said I give off a friendly/relaxed vibe.

    Only 2-3 dancers have actually sat down to chat with me but I have went to this club now 4 times. are dancers put off by lesbian customers or weary of women who visit strip clubs alone? when asked my sexual orientation I am honest.

    please, any insight on how I can make other dancers more comfortable to approach me?

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    Well I too am a lesbian SC regular and I have no trouble getting dancer attention. AAMOF sometimes I have to beat 'em off with a stick ! Hmmmmm......I don't know what to tell you. If anything, dancers really seem to enjoy the fact that I'm gay and that I prefer to club alone - there's no "couples" drama that way, and no man to muddy up the situation. Could it be that you club in a socially conservative city or area? Are you giving off a negative vibe that you're unaware of? Are you tipping GENEROUSLY and sitting at the rail sometimes to chat up the dancers onstage? Have you asked the waitresses to send over dancers that especially like women customers?

    Did I mention tipping GENEROUSLY so that the dancers can see that you are there to spend money??

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    the 2-3 dancers who have actually approached me, sat down and had interesting conversations with me told me that they were also lesbian or bisexual. So maybe they can tell I am lesbian by body language/eye contact? so maybe some of the straight dancers may be nervous to approach because I am lesbian,possibly?
    I live in the south so maybe it is a more conservative area of the country when compared to out west or up north.

    Yes, I do go up to the stage often to tip and a good amount. I will give the dancer a genuine compliment if she did impressive pole work. that usually gets a smile from them sometimes I am the only person in the club on a full night going to tip the girls often. in fact the DJ said to the auidence of men the other night "this woman (me)will show you how to tip a dancer correctly" lol. because all the men were just looking not tipping!

    I have only been 4 times to this club, maybe they will get more comfortable if they see me more in the future?

    also, since I am really new to strip clubs, i just started a few months ago, I have heard most dancers are bisexual? is this just another stereotype? this is what I hear from some male co-workers who have been going to SC for years.

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    Ah young grasshopper, you've much to learn!


    Well, just the fact that you are at the club alone tells the dancers that you are either a) a dancer checking out the club as a possible new workplace, or b) a gay/bi girl looking for some fun. With repeat visits they'll catch on to the fact that you're probably there for fun, and not a job.

    Most dancers I've met have identified as bi-curious, but I have also met many that claimed to be bi, and I've met a handful that were full on lesbian. I can't ever remember a dancer actually telling me that she was 100% straight - she would be a TERRIBLE saleswoman if she told me that!

    I remember my early days of clubbing - it was all so new and "forbidden". You can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed and unsure of things when you first start out - especially as a female clubber. I think I started getting more attention from dancers as I got more comfortable and confident going to clubs, especially since I often went alone. The confidence in your body language will be read by dancers, and I think that they will be more apt to approach you if you seem confidence and not nervous or unsure. That's what many dancers have told me - that I seemed very confident and comfortable in the SC environment, and they rarely see that in women customers (unless they're drunk, which is a whole other story). With time and repeat visits you'll gain that confidence too.

    Four times to the same club is sure a good start Just curious - you club at night, right? When I started clubbing I usually tried to go in the late afternoon when it was less busy and the dancers were more likely to sit and chat. Dayshift was a great time to relax and get a good feel for how the club works. Just a thought.

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    thank you for the great advice

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    Personally, as a dancer, I only go sit with customers that I feel I will make money off of...that means dances! You didn't mention that you have done dances and if you don't that is exactly why dancers are not sitting with you. We don't make our money from tips like many people thing. We make our money from multiple dances and VIP rooms. Honesty, most women customers (including lesbians) just don't spend the amount of money on us as guys do. Also many female customers are more grabby and aggressive than male customers. It doesn't sound like you are or even give off that vibe (quite the opposite). But that is another reason dancers are weary of female customers. Bottom line, if you want more attention go for dances and show the girls that they are not wasting their time talking to you. You will eventually find a regular girl or girls that build a relationship with you, but you still have to compensate them for their time.

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    ^^^ You bring up a good point about buying dances. I assumed that the OP was doing that, but perhaps not. That would be instrumental in guaranteeing dancer company.

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    as a dancer and a girl who dates girls, being a girl who likes girls is totally different than being a dancer.

    first off, i never see lesbians come in alone. the only time i see women come alone, they seem to be checking out hte place for work or there to see a friend (who they know IRL). when i see lesbians there i usually see them with their partner, with a group of lesbians celebrating girls night, or with a group of guys.

    as a dancer though , women are very close to last on the bottom of demographics that i approach for a lot of reasons. the first one is most dont spend or think waving a few dollars at us on stage while yelling "whooo!" is totally what we want. Second, hitting on men and women is completely different. When i meet girls out side hte club, my approach is COMPLETELY different from when i hit on men in the club to get them to spend their money on me. my method of hitting on men in the club is just so over the top and ridiculous... it would straight up not work on most women. truth be told, a lot of my gestures are so over the top that i am sure a man in drag could imitate them and put on a pretty entertaining drag show. so at work i am over the top "hey boys how are you doing. we need me naked on top of you right now" and dealing with women requires enough of a shift in persona that it can throw off my hustle.

    and 3rd off, i dont know whether this comes from being in the industry for a while, btu i find my sense of humor resonates a lot better with men than women. IRL i have very few friends who are not men, and my friends who are female are almost 100% strippers. probably because they are so used to being around men as well, and we can make fun of customers at work which is always a laugh.

    the best way to get attention from us is to tip a girl who you like and say "hey when you get a minute would you mind joining me? i would like a dance." or if you dont want a dance "would you mind joining me? i know you are busy but i would like to buy you a drink. and i will tip you for your time." if you become a familiar face and girls see you are there as a customer, not an escort or trying to meet male customers, and that you are spending, then they will approach you more . and those that are flat out uncomfortable around women will stay away, and that isnt really your loss anyway.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    I really enjoy dancing for women - doesn't matter if they're lesbian, straight, there with their husbands, girlfriends, lifepartner, whatever. But when the club is busy I AM looking to make money, and after scanning the crowd a single female sitting on her own will not get my attention at first; the first person I'll go to would be the older 'suit' types who look like they'll buy a room and a bottle.

    My best peice of advice; if you want dances from a particular dancer then go get it. Go stand next to her, touch her lightly on the arm and say "Hey, I'm ____; can I get a dance". That'll be the best way to establish a relationship. And once the other dancers see that you're getting dances then they'll be more open to coming up and chatting to you. You could also tip a bouncer to go get a particular girl for you, if you're the shy type.



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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    I'm a guy, but I think I can answer your question. The ladies here at Stripperweb taught me, and it has improved my SC experience immensely.

    When a dancer from whom you would like kap dances goes on the stage, go sit at the rail. Lay a tip on the rail or the stage, depending on the custom where you are. If others are tipping one dollar, out down two. A five doesn't help much, because from across the stage, one bill looks very much like another, especially to a dancer who is not wearing her corrective lenses.

    When the dancer comes to perform for you, tip her again. And again. And again. And somewhere around this point, ask her, "Could I get some lap dances when you are through with your set?"

    She will likely say yes. Then you say, "I'm sitting at that table (point) over there." Please hurry.

    It's possible she might tell you there are some other guys (or ladies) ahead of you. Wait your turn, but if she forgets, try another dancer.

    Another way is to listen for her name, then tip a waitress to tell her you would like some dances.

    Or, you can do the same thing with the DJ.

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    I would say there r always a few lesbian/bi women who work as dancers at everyclub but that is not the majority . Even then not all would b attracted or wanting dance 4 female customers as many r rude to dancers. I however do enjoy dancing for female custies who understand the rules and honestly enjoy the stripper customer routine. Im a lesbian myself a butch outside of the club who goes 4 the femmes so sometimes dancings 4girls is an added bonus to working as a dancer 4 me
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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    Or, you can do the same thing with the DJ.
    My personal favorite option I know that if a customer tips me to play a song, and mentions they like a particular girl, I'm going to be CERTAIN to let that girl know that you are looking to spend some money on them. After all, waitresses get tipped all night, not a big deal for them. But if someone goes out of their way to tip the DJ, that's almost an event.
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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    wow, this is great advice!! thank you for all who posted and thank you to all who may post in the future. I am totally new to the SC scene, so any and all information that will make me more knowledgeable about the environment/dancers is greatly appreciated!

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    if i think a girl is probably a lesbian, i usually just assume she doesn't want me to come over. maybe i don't look interesting and edgy enough for her. maybe i'm not sufficiently barbie enough for her. maybe she only wants other lesbians to dance for her. i don't know, but i always feel like she'd be mean to me and make fun of me if i talked to her.

    this is based on past experience.

    on the occasions that i've been asked for dances, i've been super enthusiastic to get back there and give them a great dance (just like when anyone asks me for a dance).
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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    Quote Originally Posted by she sells sanctuary View Post
    if i think a girl is probably a lesbian, i usually just assume she doesn't want me to come over. maybe i don't look interesting and edgy enough for her. maybe i'm not sufficiently barbie enough for her. maybe she only wants other lesbians to dance for her. i don't know, but i always feel like she'd be mean to me and make fun of me if i talked to her.

    this is based on past experience.

    on the occasions that i've been asked for dances, i've been super enthusiastic to get back there and give them a great dance (just like when anyone asks me for a dance).
    You just names everything I looked for in finding a girl to dance for me- (you must be intune to what lesbians want) -too bad yr not those things but sometimes I just pick the nice pretty girl that wasn't afraid to talk to me you know when the edgy barbie lesbian dancers are not seducing me lol however that girl doesn't work at every club so maybe if your chances would be better if you didn't assume they wouldn't want a dance from you or that they would be mean. I don't think most lesbians go wanting to be mean to strippers, but I could be wrong & like to think lesbians are different then sucky female custies in general interms of behavior being they honestly like girls & most like different types even if you hit the nail on the head calling out what I personally go for.
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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    lol!
    Why on earth would a lesbian bother going to a stripclub just to be mean and make fun of dancers? That makes no sense at all.......unless she's pissed at her GF who also happens to be a dancer, and she's drunk, and - well, you get the idea.

    And to generalize all lesbians as being this way is a bit ridiculous.

    I know that there aren't exactly a cornucopia of lesbian female stripclub patrons to base this on, but I certainly can't be the exception to the rule and be only nice lesbian junkie out there .

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    Default Re: can anyone give me any advice about Dancers and lesbian customers please?

    Ideas that I have about why you might not be approached (aside from what has already been mentioned)...

    1) It's much harder to fake sexuality with women. A lot of stripping involves faking interest in people, and women see right through that bullshit. So it can be intimidating to approach women.

    2) Women tend to be more critical of appearances than men.

    3) Many women don't know how to dance for women. We're very used to dancing for men--flashing pussy, etc--but women generally like a different style of dance IME, and it can be hard to pick up on that.

    4) Many women expect more than men in the private rooms, and it's harder to turn them down without hurting their feelings. I always found it much easier to turn men down bluntly.

    5) Many women don't spend money. They'll buy a dance, but that's usually it. Again, this is just from my experience. Like others above, I would target an older businessman above a sexy lesbian for this reason alone. It's nothing personal, it's business.

    That being said, I always LOVED dancing for gay women. Especially the butchy ladies. But I loved the challenge of figuring out how to turn women on. Dancing for a woman when no men are watching = hot as fuuuuck!

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