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Thread: Is this your Wife?

  1. #1
    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Dizzy Is this your Wife?

    Because she is sniffing your penis and asking me if it smells like stripper..... FYI.


    http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=153474
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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  3. #2
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    LMAO! When I was married I did my own laundry for years and always changed my shirt after leaving a strip club. I also wore cologne all the time just so that my ex would be expecting the smell of something on me. Of course, explaining the exotic Brazilian fragrances that I was wearing got to be a little tricky...

    Over-all I think dancers have wised-up quite a bit over the years. Most clubs don't allow glitter anymore and most dancers are smart enough not to over do it with the perfume. Still, a guy should never assume that just because he can't smell stripper on him that his wife won't...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Another thing to remember is that up until about 2005 (at least in RI), if you spent 10 minutes in a strip club, you went home smelling like an ash tray. Such is no longer the case in any SC or bar so there is nothing to mask any suspicious smells.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

    If you're in your twenties and aren't a liberal, you have no heart. If you're in you're forties and aren't a conservative, you have no brain - Winston Churchill

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    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    Over-all I think dancers have wised-up quite a bit over the years. Most clubs don't allow glitter anymore and most dancers are smart enough not to over do it with the perfume. Still, a guy should never assume that just because he can't smell stripper on him that his wife won't...
    Overall I agree, but there are still enough girls wearing strong perfume that it has become something of a pet peeve for me.

    Hence, this thread: http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=145128

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    ^ yup, still some girls who just don't get it. A few months ago I refused a dance offer from a dancer who was wearing glitter. When she moved closer and started trying to touch me I asked her not to as I didn't want any of it to get on me. She started flipping me attitude at which point I suggested she should go check with the club's house mother about the policy towards glitter (it's not allowed). She stormed off in a huff. Haven't seen her at the club since...
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  7. #6
    Veteran Member johnjdick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    "Honey, I'm so sorry I'm late getting home. There was an accident on the freeway, big 18 wheeler rolled over. It was carrying glitter and perfume... it was a mess. The stuff got everywhere. No, of course I wasn't at a strip club... why do you ask?"

    Edit: I actually told this excuse to a customer one time when he was asking how he should explain the glitter to his wife. He laughed and tipped me $20
    Greetings Earthlings. We are aliens from a planet of vegetable fuckers. We cum in peas.

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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    I heard that the very best way to hide those oh-so-distinctive SC smells is to pour some gasoline on your pants. "Babe, I filled up the car on the way home. Had a little accident." However, this technique won't help with the glitter and lipstick and fake phone numbers scribbled on crumbled SC napkins. When these are discovered, your very best move is to put a match to the aforementioned pants and run into the street screaming.

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    God/dess Kisca's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Im sure most strippers (hopefully) wised up based on the smells, lotions they use etc. Glitter is something.. I laugh at. That stuff is just nasty and it never goes away! I do wear prefume and I may use it too much, I hate the fact that some customers think oh she smells too strong etc she MUST be covering something up. Do you want to smell my previous drunken customer on me? I dont think so.

    Most men I dance for are single, out on business, so they dont worry about that. I had men who brought their own t-shirts or crappy clothes that they dont wear often to get dances in. Making yourself smell like beer, and smoke deff gets all the girly smells out. Buying a non-smell deorant thats a spray gets the aways away within a few mins, same with cleaning products (sprays the kill the smell).

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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    FYI to you men. I'm generally a nice person but if a custy gave me a really hard time, I would rub some of my lipstick (maybe some face makeup too) onto the back of their collar. I'm not talking about asking me out or touching me lightly...just the bad stuff that everyone knows better than to say or do to another human being.

    So glad I've never had to smell my boyfriends' crotches though.

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    Sia

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    this was excellent lolz.
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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  17. #11
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Last week I hit one of the local clubs and got a some nude lap dances, the dances were really good. The dancer left a wet spot on my pants, it was her not me. The next morning I noticed a couple of snail trails on my pants, I have already washed them so I can't comment on any scent she may have left behind. It is a good thing that I am not married, fellow junkies be careful out there and be sure to cover your tracks.

  18. #12
    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    I always have, and continue to have trouble with dancer smells lingering on me long after I've left the club. My biggest problem is the smell of stripperdom on my long hair (not a concern of most clubbers, I assume ).
    Once a certain tell-tale smell manifests itself in your coiffure, nothing short of a shower will get rid of it. Masking it with some other smell seems to just piss it off, and the stripclub smell can actually intensify.

    The first person who suggests shaving my head is gonna get smacked

    I even found some glitter on me recently! Oy! I thought dancers had caught on to why we so hate that sparkly menace !

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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    Once a certain tell-tale smell manifests itself in your coiffure, nothing short of a shower will get rid of it. Masking it with some other smell seems to just piss it off, and the stripclub smell can actually intensify.

    The first person who suggests shaving my head is gonna get smacked
    Perhaps you should shave your head.
    Greetings Earthlings. We are aliens from a planet of vegetable fuckers. We cum in peas.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    ^^a bit of a masochist, eh?
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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  22. #15
    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    He left me no choice.


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    Veteran Member johnjdick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Thank you ma'am. May I have another?
    Greetings Earthlings. We are aliens from a planet of vegetable fuckers. We cum in peas.

    http://www.facebook.com/johnjdick

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by johnjdick View Post
    Thank you ma'am. May I have another?

    I think not.
    You appear to have enjoyed it waaaaaaay too much, you masochistic little monkey

  26. #18
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Wow, did anyone read her post about why she was asking all of those questions? It was like James Joyce and William Faulkner took over the body of an insecure housewife, and started writing on a computer.

    That was the Ulysses of jealousy posts.

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    Veteran Member johnjdick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by lopaw View Post
    I think not.
    You appear to have enjoyed it waaaaaaay too much, you masochistic little monkey
    Awwww.... the true way to torture a masochist... tell him you aren't going to hit him.
    Greetings Earthlings. We are aliens from a planet of vegetable fuckers. We cum in peas.

    http://www.facebook.com/johnjdick

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    God/dess cherryblossomsinspring's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    ^ yup, still some girls who just don't get it. A few months ago I refused a dance offer from a dancer who was wearing glitter. When she moved closer and started trying to touch me I asked her not to as I didn't want any of it to get on me. She started flipping me attitude at which point I suggested she should go check with the club's house mother about the policy towards glitter (it's not allowed). She stormed off in a huff. Haven't seen her at the club since...
    I think mostly a newbie stripper is not thinking that a married man is coming in. Probably not at first anyways. Also It's the first time I ever heard of "smell ,scent or perfume" being an issue. I now see why. If you're single you wouldn't care and may enjoy leaving dreaming of that sexy girl that smelled like peony or some other loud as can be bath and body works scent.

    It's funny this never crossed my mind that a guy would refuse a dance from a stripper over alittle glitter. But Married men would have problems so yes got it now.

    Wow I didn't realize how married men had to really be careful doing these things. Amazes me how much work goes into planning on not getting caught.

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    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Snail trails ? Ewww.

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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    Snail trails ? Ewww.
    Right?? WTF, how do you get some chick's vag juice on your pants?


    Actually, I'm not sure I want to know.

  32. #23
    God/dess princessjas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    ^^Hmm, I know someone it happened to. Nude laps in his home club (which gross me the fuck out, just for the record) a little spanking, snail trails happened.

    I just don't understand why girls work at clubs that insist you are nude during a lapdance?
    "I hear you calling and it's needles and pins. I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name...You're poision. but I don't wanna break these chains.... I wanna love you but I'd better not touch."

  33. #24
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    Quote Originally Posted by safado View Post
    Last week I hit one of the local clubs and got a some nude lap dances, the dances were really good. The dancer left a wet spot on my pants, it was her not me. The next morning I noticed a couple of snail trails on my pants, I have already washed them so I can't comment on any scent she may have left behind. It is a good thing that I am not married, fellow junkies be careful out there and be sure to cover your tracks.
    Eww...

  34. #25
    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this your Wife?

    I've worked at clubs with nude lapdances, and I don't think most dancers would rub their naked vag on a dude's leg... I know I wouldn't. As soon as I was nude I wouldn't do any positions like that.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

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