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Thread: America and Age-ism

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    Default America and Age-ism

    Do you respect your elders? I've noticed that it seems like there is exceedingly less and less respect for older people in our culture. Even when people say "nice" things about elderly people nowadays, it's often in a very condescending manner. This bothers me. I think that people should have way more respect for former generations. What do you all think? Is this a world-wide occurrence or is this type of patronizing attitude toward older people more prevalent in the U.S. then it is in other countries? It seems like there is a discrepancy between how, the Japanese for instance, treat and respect their elders vs. Americans. Share your thoughts!

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    The US itself being a young country could have something to do with it. It was founded by immigrants who had to fight for independence, and that kind of virile spirit has carried on. Youth embodies that more than age. It's unfortunate that the elderly are seen as not having anything to offer, though.

    It's also a numbers thing. I think elderly make up about 13 percent of the US population. They make up 22 percentage of the population in Japan. It's easier to maintain a system of respect and falling in line where you're supposed to when you have numbers like that, plus Japan is a couple thousand years old as a country. That tradition has been ingrained.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    I totally agree. I came from a country and a family itself where elders HAVE to respected.. and never spoken bad of (grandparents mainly). When I moved to Canada, I noticed class-mates and peers talking rudely about their grandparents, making jokes, being annoyed or disrespectful of them.. This is something I never understood.

    It makes me sad seeing young people not offering the older folks seats, or not holding the door for them.. Such simple things can change a persons day.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    I respect the elders in my family and I'm generally a polite person however sometimes I catch myself being ageist. For example I was having a problem with the computer and the gentleman helping me was pushing 60, he seemed to be moving a bit slowly and at first I was agitated and annoyed that I got stuck with the old dude. Then I realized that I was in no hurry and that he was completely competent.

    Oops.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    I'm more ageist towards young people. I find many of them to be rude and entitled. The only time older people bug me is when they also act entitled, like by cutting in line without asking and things of the like. Just because you are old gives you no right to be so rude! I think it bugs me even more because I would gladly let them in front of me if they were polite enough to ask me.
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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    Not too much anymore. I've bumped into alot of older people just in my day to day. Even though I've been most respectful , many still remind me in the most inappropriate ways that they still have a DICK. So NOPE!! I shy away from "the old". I also notice that they approach me quite frequently and basically they all come off as the cool grandpa type that you would probably curl up by the fireplace to listen to in your footsie pajamas as a child. However they usually abuse this respect I hold for them and then try to find a way to push for something that would want to make me gag on a dirty man's gym sock. I could tell people stories that would make them say... WTF WAS HE THINKING? . So sorry I don't have that super respect anymore, but I think it's been based off of how they use my bright eyed "you're so cool Mr. response" to think... yeah I can so fuck this little girl.

    Where I live it seems there are many retired old people so perhaps they feel now they can live out some taboo fantasy and having a mirror on hand has some how slipped their mind. It's almost as if they don't realize they are old and fat. They approach me as if they're a young whippersnapper in their 20"s.

    What I even find more alarming is when I have to step out of my respectful position with them and make them see how lousy they are, they pull that "respect your elders" bullshit. I have to tell them how they lost my respect when they came at me with their dusty ass dick!

    The women seem to be nosy and pushy and I avoid them. They also come out with some truly "wow did she just say that comment" and you can see that they are semi-smiling because again it's a "haha I so got away with that because I'm old".
    I think perhaps if I was on the east coast maybe people would honor that respect as I have never been known to need to step out of line with an elder in those areas.

    As with all power people have a tendency to abuse it. So If it's an old woman crossing the street I may help, but I'm more so reluctant due to a not so kind comment flowing out of her mouth with ease. I personally talk to men over the phone daily at ages 55+. I have to say most are seriously miserable and demanding. There are a few that seem to bring a burst of life and happiness to the conversation. Some are pushing 50 and have already come across with that bitter and angry attitude. It seems to usually have to do with the realization that they no longer are attracted to their wives that have grown old with them yet look like hell themselves, can't get hard or perform for any length of time. I think it was doing privates with older men that made me realize they could have orgasms on a soft penis. Never knew that was even possible before but it's the oddest thing to have to witness along with other not so fun things that you never wanted to know about the Senior Citizen Community.

    I think I have posted in other threads how I've been watched in a store like "Trader Joes". They have watched me and thought that I was completely oblivious. Because I detest the Old guys coming at me, I usually keep an eye in all directions when I shop. I recall this one guy old come across the room in the produce section making his way to try and hold a conversation that I obviously am not interested in having. He made his approach, meanwhile I'm watching him through my peripheral vision thinking "damn can't I shop in peace! wtf". So right when he's about to open his mouth and ask some dumb ass question , I grab whatever I'm going to get. He starts talking and I just walk around him as if he's not even there. The man started screaming at the top of his lungs "HEY I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!!!!!! .... I just kept walking like I didn't hear a damn thing. He was so frustrated that he even dropped his basket down and I looked at the expression of the other shoppers seeing that they were wondering what happened.

    ^ Happens to me about 75% of the time. It doesn't even matter where I'm at in the store, they stare for awhile and then try to make their approach and completely loose it when I ignore them. One guy even tried to hold a conversation in line with me, by making comments about what I was buying. I ignored him twice and he got angry. He then tried to rush to catch up with me outside the store, but I walk to damn fast for most people so his ass was looking out into an empty parking lot.

    I know this all sounds extreme but I have no other way to deal with then but to ignore and get out of dodge. But the attitude is almost " how dare I ignore them" " who do I think I am to turn them down." It's quite sick when you see people of this age act in their manner. I would expect this behavior from someone much much younger but older men for me personally have been the absolute worse.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    I actually just wrote a paper for one of my finals on this!

    This isn't just true for America (though I think our culture does contribute to it in its own way, which I will get to in a second) but industrialized nations in general, where youth and productivity are highly valued traits. The loss of youth and the movement from the "working" to the "post-work" sector of society results in the elderly being viewed as irrelevant.

    Additionally, in the past, or in small societies of today where outside sources of knowledge aren’t readily available the elderly population is given value because of the knowledge, experience, and skills they have learned that they can share with the rest of the community. However, the technology advancements of modern times have made information easy to access, and they no longer are viewed as valuable in this respect. The role of the elderly is further devalued because they often are unfamiliar with new and rapidly changing technology and do not have the skills to utilize it, while the younger members of society do.

    American culture also places great value on autonomy and self-reliance, and the elderly are perceived as lacking these traits, again lowering their status. Additionally, when a family takes in an elderly member, especially one who is physically or mentally ill, some autonomy is lost on the part of the caretaker. It is also important to consider that in American culture, where neolocal (the married couple establishes a residence away from the parents) residence patterns are the norm, there is a lack of support from the community and extended family in raising children and maintaining a household. This usually leaves the two parents solely responsible to raise children, maintain the home, and earn a living. In families where both adults must work, taking on the care of an elderly family member is simply not feasible. I think that these two factors play a role in the fate of many elderly people to end up living away from family in a nursing home or other similar facility.

    It has been suggested that the isolation the elderly experience plays a role in the higher rate of dementia in America compared to other parts of the world. While this may be caused by a number of factors, studies have shown that mental stimulation may help cognitive function. In American culture normal cognitive function is seen as the sign of a fully integrated and socially acceptable member of society. As cognitive functioning decreases with age, the elderly are further isolated from society. This can result in them living in an environment where they are not stimulated, where they often suffer from loneliness and depression, offering little help to deter further mental deterioration.



    Some of that was directly from my paper, which was on this article...
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1369268/

    It's pretty interesting.
    Last edited by sierra.; 05-03-2011 at 03:03 PM.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    Quote Originally Posted by sierra. View Post
    I actually just wrote a paper for one of my finals on this!

    This isn't just true for America (though I think our culture does contribute to it in its own way, which I will get to in a second) but industrialized nations in general, where youth and productivity are highly valued traits. The loss of youth and the movement from the "working" to the "post-work" sector of society results in the elderly being viewed as irrelevant.

    Additionally, in the past, or in small societies of today where outside sources of knowledge aren’t readily available the elderly population is given value because of the knowledge, experience, and skills they have learned that they can share with the rest of the community. However, the technology advancements of modern times have made information easy to access, and they no longer are viewed as valuable in this respect. The role of the elderly is further devalued because they often are unfamiliar with new and rapidly changing technology and do not have the skills to utilize it, while the younger members of society do.

    American culture also places great value on autonomy and self-reliance, and the elderly are perceived as lacking these traits, again lowering their status. Additionally, when a family takes in an elderly member, especially one who is physically or mentally ill, some autonomy is lost on the part of the caretaker. It is also important to consider that in American culture, where neolocal (the married couple establishes a residence away from the parents) residence patterns are the norm, there is a lack of support from the community and extended family in raising children and maintaining a household. This usually leaves the two parents solely responsible to raise children, maintain the home, and earn a living. In families where both adults must work, taking on the care of an elderly family member is simply not feasible. I think that these two factors play a role in the fate of many elderly people to end up living away from family in a nursing home or other similar facility.

    It has been suggested that the isolation the elderly experience plays a role in the higher rate of dementia in America compared to other parts of the world. While this may be caused by a number of factors, studies have shown that mental stimulation may help cognitive function. However, in American culture normal cognitive function is seen as the sign of a fully integrated and socially acceptable member of society. As cognitive functioning decreases with age, the elderly are further isolated from society. This can result in them living in an environment where they are not stimulated, where they often suffer from loneliness and depression, offering little help to deter the deterioration of cognitive function.



    Some of that was directly from my paper, which was on this article...
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1369268/

    It's pretty interesting.
    This is very interesting and I agree with your post completely. I've noticed in other cultures for example : Latin cultures where they are very big on family and typically all members of the family live under one roof. They care for their elders not like it's a chore but more like it's right of passage. I find this to be beautiful.

    However yes in America and some other cultures the elderly get left behind.

    I have always looked up to the elderly with a deep respect and admiration, always wanting to know about their experiences and the things that they have done in life. It's unfortunate when someone is talking about going into vietnam and being a fighter pilot and then they are saying hey why don't you come visit me, I would love to get in between those thighs. Sadly they are serious and start offering me money to visit them, plane tickets etc. I have to remind them of their age and how inappropriate their come ons are. It's a shame that they don't even respect themselves and value their own knowledge as something to share not something to use to abuse someone's trust.

    So for the people that can honestly stay in their place as an elder and look at the young whippersnappers as children, I would view them as a true source of knowledge and I would continue to look up to them as I did not so long ago.

    So again it's heartbreaking when you see this behavior from someone you should hold in such high regard.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    I'll have to read the rest of the posts but considering I've talked to two older men who "just aren't attracted to women their age" who had some nice looking wives, I suspect idiocy and cultural brainwashing. It's ridiculous considering how many hot older womenthere are nowadays that there's still 50+ year old men refusing to date anything older than 30.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    I guess I'm one of those people who don't respect their elders all the time. To me, age doesn't make you deserving of anything; all you did to get old was not die, and I don't think that makes you special. I try to look at old people the same way as everyone else and respect them or not for their merits, not their age.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    Quote Originally Posted by princessjas View Post
    I'm more ageist towards young people. I find many of them to be rude and entitled. The only time older people bug me is when they also act entitled, like by cutting in line without asking and things of the like. Just because you are old gives you no right to be so rude! I think it bugs me even more because I would gladly let them in front of me if they were polite enough to ask me.
    I agree 100%. I have more problems with younger people than older. So many of the 20somethings today feel they are "owed" things. Yet for some unexplained reason employers would rather hire them than anyone older than 30. Some older people are jerks, but they tend to be more hard workers than young.

    Quote Originally Posted by FiendishGyrator View Post
    I'll have to read the rest of the posts but considering I've talked to two older men who "just aren't attracted to women their age" who had some nice looking wives, I suspect idiocy and cultural brainwashing. It's ridiculous considering how many hot older womenthere are nowadays that there's still 50+ year old men refusing to date anything older than 30.
    Unfortunately I'm seeing this a lot even at 40. I look good for my age and people often think I am around 25 or so. I always get hit on by much younger men. However, when it comes to online dating, many of the guys I've liked rejected me because of my age. Some do it because they believe the lie that 40 year old women can't have babies. Actually most 40 year old women can (and do) have babies, while there are younger women who can't. I've even been told that I am picky because I don't want a 55+ year old guy. What would I have in common with a man that old? Part of it is because many men believe the lie that they can be pickier than women, but the reality is there are more single men at 40 than single women so if they want a mate they better lower their standards on this or face being alone. They see men like Hugh Hefner and think "I can get a young woman too". Wrong, he would not have lots of young women if he wasn't rich and powerful.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    IMO, this country has developed an unhealthy obsession with youth. With an overall mentality like that, it seems like it would be hard to have respect for our elders. Or maybe it is our family systems.. Japan for example..'love' relationships are generally a newer concept.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    I respect anyone that treats me with respect. I wont automatically respect you because your older than me or disrespect you because you're younger than me. It's all about how ppl treat each other and act to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arialandre View Post
    I respect anyone that treats me with respect. I wont automatically respect you because your older than me or disrespect you because you're younger than me. It's all about how ppl treat each other and act to me.
    This.

    In my area, a lot of the older people are incredible rude and nasty. An old man will start staring, winking, and following me around in a store, and his wife will see, and then she'll start giving me nasty looks and making comments under her breath. I've had quite a few shove past me and try to give me a shoulder knock before.

    I've met some cool older people. I think the older generations down south are a lot more friendly than the ones up here. My grandparents live in the Mississippi Delta, and whenever I go down there, all the seniors (and there are a lot of them) are just so warm and friendly. Up here they're just mean, nasty people.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    Quote Originally Posted by Arialandre View Post
    I respect anyone that treats me with respect. I wont automatically respect you because your older than me or disrespect you because you're younger than me. It's all about how ppl treat each other and act to me.
    Right on. I don't care if you're 10 or 100, if you're an asshole, you're an asshole.

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    *takes a bow*

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    Quote Originally Posted by Arialandre View Post
    I respect anyone that treats me with respect. I wont automatically respect you because your older than me or disrespect you because you're younger than me. It's all about how ppl treat each other and act to me.
    that definitely makes sense! however, you have to take into account that some older people can't really help being crabby or rude. Some don't understand today's culture and it's almost like a foreign language to them, and I'm sure some things that our younger generation partakes in every day may come across as offensive. It's not anyone's fault, it's just life. Secondly, there is a decline in mental health after a certain point in life and, for lack of a better term... senility. for instance, my grandmother is an AMAZING woman with a beautiful heart. I could never have asked for a better grandmother. but she has changed A LOT over the past few years due to alzheimer's. she is crabby, she yells at me, and she accuses me of stealing things when in actuality, she just forgot where she placed them. but i still have just as much respect for her bc i know that her actions are directly related to her age and mental atrophy.

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    Default Re: America and Age-ism

    ^ummmm no. If they are older then most of them grew up in generations where good manners were MORE important than they are now. Mental health is one thing but being allowed to be rude just because you're over 60 is bullshit. Unless there is some sort of mental health reason or terets or something sure. But being rude and mean because the generation now is like a different culture? Does that mean I can go to Asia and be a super bitch? I mean that really IS another culture. *eyeroll*. No. I make no excuses for other peoples rudeness unless there is a damn good reason.

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