
Originally Posted by
krys
For the longest time I thought dancing was the source of most of my depression ... The late nights, dealing with arse holes, feeling like an outsider and like a zombie half the time - living between worlds. At first it was exciting, then it became part of my life, then just a habit that I no longer really enjoyed ... I watched the industry change over the years, I tried to change with it but I couldn't. I decided it was no longer for me so last year I stopped dancing. It kinda happened naturally although it had been on my mind for over a year.
I was under this magical illusion that when I stopped I'd be 'happy' ... little did I know. Seems dancing was covering up a lot of stuff, it was an escape from life as well as an avoidance of it at times. Now I don't have that I realise I was depressed with or without it!
I'm missing the escape, the dressing up, the being an outsider, living on the edge ... it kinda became part of my secret world ... I think I underestimated what it was and now I just have this hole. I don't want to go back (although I do think about it) but I need to do something to stop feeling like I have been the last 5 months.
Does anyone know what I'm on about? Would love some support xx
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