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Thread: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

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    Default What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    I'm not sure if this is already a thread, but I was curious how many of you girls have serious relationships or if most of you are single or what?

    Because I just recently started dancing and I met this guy (after I started) but I didn't tell him what my job was. He was really sweet and a good guy, he took me on a couple dates and we talked everyday. Everything was going great (so I thought) until he finds out where I work..and it just got weird from there. Eventually he just stopped talking to me altogether...no explanation.

    So I just want to know if any of you girls are in serious relationships or have boyfriends who know where you work and it doesn't affect your relationship? Or do guys automatically think you are a whore or something if they find out where you work? (I'm guessing that's what the guy thought of me :/ which is so frustrating because I really am a good person!)

    I feel like it's impossible to ever get serious with a guy unless I completely hide my job...which I don't really want to do either. Gr!

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Some guys are cool with it. some are assholes. There are the stripper groupies that chase after us. There are lazy ass fucks that stay with us just for money. It depends on the man.

    Mine met me knowing what I do and he trusts me. He likes the money. He does hate it when I have a bad night and I rant for 30 mins about "so-and-so fat/fugly biitch was sucking/fucking in vip that's why I didn't make money"
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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    I started online dating recently and already stripping. I get to know the guys a bit, tell them I work in a bar and Ill tell them later about it after, not too long, but ones we sorta get a grip of each others personality.. none of them had a problem! I act pretty laid back, but also serious and dont fuck around so Im sure they understand, some guy made a comment saying I probsbly love sex and dick and I corrected him, that because Im a stripper doesnt mean Im like that and not to fucking jugde.. he shut up quickly.

    If a man feels iffy about your job now, or has a problem with it, he will either way down the line. Do explain you only dance, and its all business. Some men will never accept it.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Some men really can't handle it--I wouldn't suggest wasting your time on men like that. But there are men out there who understand that it is a buiness and have no problem with it--don't give up!

    My boyfriend was actually um...my best regular for years. I suppose that kindof sums up why he doesn't have a problem with me dancing--lol.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by ZePeanut View Post
    My boyfriend was actually um...my best regular for years. I suppose that kindof sums up why he doesn't have a problem with me dancing--lol.
    My bf was my most loyal customer too haha I never meet customers outside the club, but I knew what restaurant he bartended at and figured taking a friend with me just to see him one night could only help my money. We ended up hanging out afterward and I was extremely impressed with the way he treated me. Most guys I know fall into one of two categories: 1) They only see me in the context of the club and being a "whore" and want me to be a "call-girl" or fuck-buddy OTC or 2) They're cool with being my friend IRL but don't EVER want to see me at the club or even go into a strip club, which to me, is kind of just as insulting because it's still implying a negative stigma against my job. My bf, on the other hand, was all about spending money on me at the club but still treated me like a real lady when we hung out OTC.

    My general attitude when it came to me being a stripper and thinking about dating was that I was never going to act like it was a big deal. To me it's just a job and it reflects nothing about my character or trustworthiness. And I always wanted someone who got that. I talk very openly about work and don't act like it's any different from any other job someone could have and discuss. Because I don't act like it's a big deal, and because he knows damn well the club is where we met, my bf just follows suit

    I'm not saying the only place you can meet a guy who's cool with you stripping is at the club - in fact, I don't trust the majority of guys I meet at the club and don't really encourage meeting customers OTC.... this was just a special exception lol But I think the general idea that you should never act ashamed of your job or like it means that you don't deserve just as normal of a relationship as anybody with a "regular" job holds true no matter where you're trying to meet guys - it just might take a little longer.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    mine's awesome. he knows i come home to him every night cause i love him, and that customers are just...customers. *shrug*
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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    I was married for most of my dancing career and now I've been with someone for the better part of a year that I met in my club. It is possible honey, you just have to find someone as awesome as you are. He's out there, trust me. Don't get caught up in the douchebags that have a problem with it, and don't EVER let them make you feel unworthy. They are the ones with the problem not you.

    I would suggest in the future though just being up front about what you do (that's not the same as who you are) so that way he doesn't feel like he's been lied to. It'll also help to weed out the losers early on.
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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    My husband doesn't always like my job, but he accepts it. On the best days, he kinda gets off on the fact that I'm a stripper, on the worst days he needs some extra reassurance. But part of that is because I left him for a guy I met at the club...long story, but now sometimes he starts feeling a bit insecure and needs that extra reassurance. But mostly it's ok.

    The guys are out there. You just need to be patient and you'll find him. However, it's best to be up front about what you do, otherwise you risk losing any trust you might have established.
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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    There's too many good fish in the sea to waste time on any kind of jealous type. Unfortunately a lot of people are insecure so you have to sift through all of that BS. When meeting new friends, I usually say I work at a bar at first. Relationship wise, I happen to be very fortunate, it was my significant others idea to start dancing... (looking through the newspaper for a job) .." Eww yuk! no office jobs for me, I can;t stand to sit for that long, I need to be active! I wish lifeguards made more money, It'd be nice to wear a bathing suit all day! The weather sucks in Washington anyway" .."Honey, why don't you be a stripper? Your'e definitely cute enough!" ..and so it began

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    I met my boyfriend in the club. When we were hanging out the other day he said, "this is why I'm not jealous of you stripping..." and cuddled me up close to him and was like. "they don't even think that they might get this". I just about died inside. We weren't having sex. He was just talking about being intimately close to me.
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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    My [guy] doesn't always like my job, but he accepts it. On the best days, he kinda gets off on the fact that I'm a stripper, on the worst days he needs some extra reassurance.
    ^ Me too.

    I was scared I'd lose him when I started dancing but he's still here and doesn't seem to be planning to leave anytime soon. We go out to strip clubs together about once a month...but he'd never come see me at my club. I think we both know he couldn't handle it. (And it would make me feel awkward as hell too!)

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    My bf was my most loyal customer too
    Yay! I love it! lol

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by 22lligm View Post
    ... So I just want to know if any of you girls are in serious relationships or have boyfriends who know where you work and it doesn't affect your relationship? Or do guys automatically think you are a whore or something if they find out where you work?...
    Yes, it's possible to find someone to love you and accept what you do as a source of income. Some days are better than others, however.

    My guy is very supportive and loving, but is always reminding me to plan for the future and my transition out of dancing. It's a teeter-totter, but we've made it work and so can you...with the right guy.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    I agree with JayATee, that you really need to be up front about it from the very beginning. Don't let any guy turn you into a liar or a deceiver. If you tell him right at the start, you'll get a pretty good idea of what he'll be like. There are the guys who will be waaaay too into it (I've met guys that seemed to have this vision of becoming a pseudo-pimp, and a stripper girlfriend was the first step in that direction). There are the guys who will freak out and claim you must be a drug addict and alcoholic and prostitute, and no girlfriend of HIS is going to make her money grinding on other guys all night like a slut, etc. Then you'll get the ones who may be a little uneasy, but understand that this is just a job, and you're not cheating on him or anything.

    Just a tip--any REASONABLE guy I've ever known while stripping has said that it's not the lap dances or topless dancing that he really has a problem with--it's the constant fear that I'll meet some really rich customer who can give me all the things my SO can't really afford, and this custie will sweep me off my feet and get me to leave my SO. Men are usually just as insecure as women--in my experience, MORE than, because it's less socially acceptable (men are supposed to suck it up, etc.), so it all just gets bottled up inside.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    My husband is totally ok with me stripping. When I worked locally he would drop me off and pick me up every night. He gets that customers are just customers and take pride in the fact that he has the girl that men would shell out hundreds for. He likes that the money helps us, but has not once pushed me to make more or go in when I didn't want to. He earns good money (not as good as stripper money, but still) on his own and enjoys knowing that I am well taken care of.

    It helps that he isn't a jealous person AT ALL. If I bring home a present from a regular he is excited for me because I am excited. If anything he thinks me dancing is cool.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    I've found a lot of different reactions, but they seem to fall into three main categories..

    1) That's so COOL!!! This guy will initially think its awesome, get off on how hot his girlfriend is and boast to all his friends about dating a stripper. He'll probably ask you to give him dances at home. Don't be fooled...as soon as the novelty wears off, he'll get jealous and frustrated and annoyed with it. This will eventually be a huge issue for him.

    2) I'll put up with it. This guy will be upfront about the fact that it bothers him, and say its ok as long as you don't talk about it/tell your mutual friends/rub it in his face etc. This seems like it'd be ok, but it ends up feeling deceitful (and often being deceitful to friends and family) and as though you should be ashamed of what you do. This guy will also probably end up trying to push you towards other jobs or careers....again, issues!

    3) The holy grail! This is the guy who understands that it is just a job - you'll have good nights, and funny stories, and bad nights. It really ain't a big deal. He'll want to hear about your night (in the same way that he would want to hear about your day no matter what you do) but won't boast to friends about it...

    I've finally found my holy grail - and like most of the girls I know in long-term relationships, he was a big fan of the clubs! He's friends with the DJ and one of the bouncers, so he would hang out there a lot, and kind of understood how the girls viewed the job and that it wasn't that sleazy. He also was already friends with a couple of dancers, so it had stopped being a big deal to him that someone was "a stripper".

    Ending my giant post- I'm gonna praise my guy to the heavens for a sec - when I was burnt out and not wanting to work, he would encourage me to go in, but be understanding if I didn't want to. I am currently taking a break from dancing (waaay too burnt out) and when I jokingly told him that he wouldn't be able to tell people hes dating a stripper, he said 'I don't tell people I'm dating a stripper. I tell people I'm dating an amazing artist who I love and who dances on the side because shes driven and has bigger balls than you!" and finally, now that I am looking into cam work, he's offered to help me set up websites and payments, even set me up my own site and trawl the cam site forums to flag re-posted videos or negative comments....: ) I win!
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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    My last bf was a customer. He came in, dropped a couple of Gs in VIP with me, both of us were quite drunk. He came back the next night and just bought champagne (which he generously offered to all the girls) and I ran into him in a nightclub after work (actually, I told him I'd be there). We made a date for the next day and we got together after that.
    It wasn't his spending or his generosity that interested me - it was the cheeky way he'd blag his way in after closing and then breakdance by the bar, knocking glasses flying when his shoes came off. Instantly likeable and clearly a fun guy

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    my bf is fine with it, he just wants me to do what i want to do and be happy. he just doesn't want me to "feel like i need to do it for money" because he has a good paying job and can support me and are well off with just his income.

    i was really happy with my private party company for a long time, but when things started going downhill, then went down fast. my company was treating me like shit and sayng all these awful things to me out of nowhere. that is when my bf said, you are not happy and you need to stop. we will be fine without the money, but i can't let them treat you like this. the money is not worth it at the expense of your happiness.

    so for now i am done with private parties but once i get in better shape and get more confidence i'm going to audition at a club.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Yeah you guys are all lucky you have such great boyfriends! I started talking to this other guy and I told him I'm a dancer almost right away. He's still talking to me but he will say "don't go back there...you're too good for that...too beautiful..blablabla" I mean that's nice in a way that he cares but I also see it as an insult to me.

    I definitely don't think we are going to go very far but I can't seem to meet any guys who actually understand and don't immediately judge me! :/ I am 19 though so I have some time before I even need to get serious with any guy but, still, it would be nice!

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    My current bf is cool with it. He didn't know when we first met because I was only traveling to work occasionally and working a steady job. I told him before our first date though. He's cool and respects my job like I respected his. All my guys have been cool whether I was doing it at the time or not. I did date an entertainer for awhile that told me if I went back that i couldn't be his girl because he had a clean image and I told him it was obvious I'd never be his girl because my bfs don't dictate my life. I dated a serial stripper dater also and he is still my friend,but still looking for love at the club.
    Thank Goodness I smartened up! The old me is dead and gone.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    my bestfriend had her heart broken by this guy because she returned to dancing after working 50 hours a week and having no time to spend with her nearly teenage daughter. He couldn't cope with her dancing even tho he had known her as a dancer years before. He pretty much cut her off. I have no idea why people so this to others its something in life that I can't figure out.

    As for my experiences Ive had friends that ive known for years talk the baddest shit about me, one thing Ive heard that cracks me up is, "what she is doing is SO degrading to women" Really? well i never judged her when we were in high school and her skirt was so short it was pretty much a belt. And I am not here to be a role model for anyone. So shut the funk up to all the people who have ever talked crap, probably have NEVER once stepped foot into a club.

    However on a good note I stil have alot of great friends who knew what I did before hand and were VERY supporting. They are the ones I call my real friends, who know the real me. And that includes ex's.
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    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    My BF is fine with it, and he and I both just look at it like my job. He rubs my feet when I get home.

    I've been with him almost 5 years, started dancing after I met him.



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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Quote Originally Posted by 22lligm View Post
    Yeah you guys are all lucky you have such great boyfriends! I started talking to this other guy and I told him I'm a dancer almost right away. He's still talking to me but he will say "don't go back there...you're too good for that...too beautiful..blablabla" I mean that's nice in a way that he cares but I also see it as an insult to me.

    I definitely don't think we are going to go very far but I can't seem to meet any guys who actually understand and don't immediately judge me! :/ I am 19 though so I have some time before I even need to get serious with any guy but, still, it would be nice!
    Yeah, give up on that loser. Almost every night I work I get a handful of guys who tell me how I'm too good to be there, too pretty to work in a strip club, they want me to get out and run and never look back - I even had one guy desperately try to get me to come to an interview for a different job. I went through a period of time where I literally almost quit - not because these comments actually made me rethink dancing - but because I was getting so SICK of hearing them and I worried I would snap if I had to keep hearing them.

    The only worrying a guy should do is about things like you getting home safely at night; not wanting you to give out a real name and phone number; wanting to make sure you're actually happy and not burnt out on the job. Any other "worrying" just means he doesn't understand and he does judge you just like the other guys you've met - the only difference is that instead of shunning you, he wants to "save" you - which IS insulting, just like you think it is.

    Instead of being grateful he still talks to you, I would say you should immediately cease talking to him and let him try to go save some other "poor lost soul."

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    Since I haven't started yet, but am going to start this summer, and dicsussed it openly with my boyfriend when I started making this decision.. we text during the day, so convenient for this post:

    Here is what wrote:

    "I would not like it but would not leave you if you did. its great money. and i can say my girlfriend is a dancer and makes bank."

    I'm content with that. I should note that my ex husband who is about my age, would have never condoned anything like that, and would have made me feel like a child of satan for even bringing it up. My boyfriend is in his mid-thirties, has had his share of partying days, is mature and level headed, and while he might get jealous at time, he trusts me enough to know.. (1) Im only having sex with him, (2) It's just business, (3) I have self-respect.

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    Default Re: What do guys/boyfriends think of you stripping?

    My boyfriend is totally cool with it. When I first decided to audition last year, he supported me and actually drove me to the audition and got me through all my nerves. Whenever I come home from work he always listens to all my stories, he knows the names and personalities of my regulars, etc. etc. etc. I think he's actually pretty fascinated by the whole thing, and yeah, the money is definitely a plus! I think he likes that he has a girlfriend that can be both a housewife type and still have the money to pick up the tab now and again! lol.

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